If the younger generation have Mummy Porn.....

Ana blushed...'though it was hard to tell, as she was smothered in dark chocolate. Mr Beige pulled the plug from the bath. To his horror, as the water disappeared, Ana raised a seductive leg and her big toe got stuck under the cold tap...he fumbled wildly with the thingy as he tried to flush it out. All of sudden a fountain of water pushed her toe free and sent a torrent all over the bathroom floor. Ana lay back in the empty choc-smeared bath and simpered...'and you needn't think I'm going wipe that lot up after you...'

With my arthritis... You'll have to get those window cleaners back in to mop up, she panted.

Can you imagine me as Zeus and yourself as Danae in the shower of gold ? Because I really need the toilet and you're blocking the way! My bladder is dying for relief! He moaned lustily!

She rose hesitantly from the bath. Mr Beige opened his arms wide [believing that she was desparate for a comforting embrace.] Ana slipped on the gooey mess that coated the bath. She hurtled headlong into her lover's embrace. Together they splished and sploshed and splashed around for a bit...

Now look what you've made me do, sighed Mr Beige...

I can't hold it any longer, cried Mr Beige, as a cascade of urine washed at least some of the gunge from Ana's legs...

Oh my! Giggled Ana...are you coming or going?...

I think I'm still going, it's the old prostate, y'know....hang on, I'll give it a shake - oh, sorry!

Do stop piddling around, said Ana, rather huffily. Blow this for a game of soldiers! I've got a mountain of pants to iron...

Wish you wouldn't starch my Y-fronts, Pet. It makes them awfully scratchy!

...huffed Mr Beige.

Well, it's the only way to get any sort of stiffness in that area, it would seem! retorted Ana as she attempted, unsuccessfully, to climb out of the bath.

(BTW, I like GNHQ's alternative title - 50 Shades of Grey Hair! )

Mr Beige was none too pleased. He didn't approve of his manhood being belittled...

It was a wee enough thing anyway.

He ignored Ana's request for a helping hand out of the bath and attempted to make a dignified, but aloof, exit from the bathroom - but as he slammed the door behind him the knob fell off (no, not his!) and rolled under the bath. Ana gasped...! She was trapped in the bath, in the bathroom, with no means of getting out! What to do?

She'd have to resort to a bit of DIY!

As you do!

Please stop it as I'm having the same problem as Mr Beige!

A resourceful and tenacious woman she slid on her chocolaty buttocks to the end of the bath that was under the window. 'Hullo Bob are you still there..I desperately need you, please before I go cold, come up the ladder to the bathroom and bring your chamois with you' she pleaded.

Yes luv, said bob. I've always fancied a woman in leather!

And while you're at it Bob, bring the rabbit. I'm feeling really steamy and my inner goddess needs satisfying.

Bob was nonplussed....

I'm bald, and I haven't got a hare let alone a rabbit he said

Mr Beige now feeling somewhat guilty about leaving Ana without any help went to the shed to get a screwdriver