If the younger generation have Mummy Porn.....

And what's more, I don't know about steamy, but it smells a bit rank in that bathtub! What've you been doing?

There's a naked man just entered your shed

He clasped her in his arms. The organ swelled. The massed Gransnet voices, softly at first, then swelling to a glorious golden sound sang..

B: You wore a gown of gold
A: I was all in blue
B: Am I getting old?
A: Oh, no, not you
How strong you were
How young and gay
A prince of love
In every way
B: Ah, yes, I remember it well............

'I'm not gay!' he shouted angrily, and flung her from his arms....

There is always a problem with the generation gape - we don't necessarily understand each other

I mean gap!

Gape was better!

I was getting ready for the sequel "A Darker Shade of Beige"....

Knew she should have been doing those pelvic floor exercises..

Jess!!

Mr. Beige's face changed colour, as do chameleons. From a chalky appearance, through glowing pink, to a vivid red hue.
"What is wrong?",sobbed Ana as her inamorata pulsated an attractive purple sheen! M. ecru suddenly appeared. Swiftly turning the torpid Beige onto his front , he thumped vigorously on the back of the comatose body. suddenly - "glop", and out flew the viagra pill, which had become lodged in the throat of Mr.Beige,causing his windpipe and trachea to swell with engorging blood, rather than the intended target of the penis!

Excuse my intrusion, but I detected muffled breathing as I was passing your window and could not resist adding to your efforts!

I'll be on my way back to the Shed!

gramps

Well, at least Mr Beige lives!
I'm sure Ana will be gratified that gramps intervened! (or perhaps not...)

As Bob climbed through the bathroom window to rescue Ana , she nearly fainted with anticipation. She looked for the rabbit......
And then... and then..... Ana completely lost it.
Yes he did bring a rabbit: It was Jessica Rabbit .!!

"Jest a joke" chuckled Bob, staring ravenously at the beguiling and seductive figure before him!
Shooshing Jessica back down the ladder, Bob contemplated his next move!

He played about a bit without being downright disgusting...a ladies man needs to keep a sense of decorum. He hurled his long johns through the open window. He sucked in his paunch...and pounced on the panting Ana...!

Panting with anticipation for the next posting!!! Is Ana going to organise an orgy with the Care Home down the road? Or add some new blood by inviting the WI (remember Calendar Girls!). Will Mr Beige expire trying to blow up the sex doll?

Mr Beige, feeling rather ill, had called the Paramedics, who responded swiftly, when they arrived , Mr Beige started to recover as they were two stunning grey haired, voluptuous women, and he decided he would feel much better if they could........

...gently, but everso firmly, take him in hand...

...although his legs were very wobbly...the important bits perked up considerably...

Ooooo soop!

Just check his groin area. (oh darn I have lost track of what he is wearing but what the heck )
Leaning over him in their tight paramedic uniforms, breasts heaving as they gazed on his mature but still inviting manhood, they started unbuttoning their Devon County Council Ambulance Service shirts, their arm muscles rippling beneath the synthetic/cotton mix sleeves.

A rogue buttom popped off the blouse...Mr Beige caught it between his steradent-cream gnashers. Thinking it was another viagra pill, and wanting to impress the girls with his prowess, he swallowed it...