Win a Ted Baker handbag and a copy of Bad Nana!

I took my eight year old grandson swimming and we shared a family changing room which he was not too pleased about, but I said we will turn our backs on each other while we get dry. Anyway he turned round, pinched my "love handles" and said " what is this" I replied "fat!" and he said " why is there so much of it". Started my diet the next day!

My grandson aged 3 asking me what I would like from Santa and when I said I wasn't sure he asked - would you like a bra? would you take a pink one? Lol!
But then this is the same child who asked Santa for "a pack of batteries and blu Tac"for Christmas

My neighbour asked my daughter what her teacher name was and she kept on saying her own name

Like this one! My grandaughter has a new sibling on the way!

My grandson pointing at a tank in sealife centre and shouting look that one has testicles... he meant tentacles!

Whilst watching my dgs at the weekend I took delivery of a hand held dyson. Dgs helped me u wrap the parcel and after explaining it was a new vacuum i put it away. Later when mum arrived to pick him up he looked at her seriously and said grandma got a new machine gun!!! Just shows how he sees me.

I am 58, I have recently decided to stop dying my hair, so I used a colour stripper which has made it lighter, my natural colour is quite dark brown and I have dyed it this colour for years. The stripper has left it more of a copper brown and I have about 2 inches of grey roots now. My 11 year old granddaughter told my daughter she didn't know I had been dying my hair black and said to her "did you know Grandma dyes her hair?"

Elder grand-daughter in the car with her younger sister, Issey, her mummy and me then out of the blue said:
'Granny, you'll be dead by the time Issey grows up, won't you?'

A couple of years ago we joined my son and his family for a holiday in a Norwegian Lodge in Cornwall. It was beautiful and the sun shone all week. We decided to eat outside and I had put meat under the grill, wine was being passed round (which I was drinking and forgot the meat grilling, suddenly the fire alarms went off with smoke pouring from the kitchen. My son managed to put out the fire with the fire blanket and eventually the alarms went off. (The grandchildren were convinced the fire engines were on their way).
Luckily only smoke damage which we managed to clean up
The holiday is now know as the one where Nan nearly burnt down the Lodge. Not the childhood memories I was hoping for!

As I was on holiday with my two granddaughters and grandson, all young teenagers, I took them on a late night walk. We set off at about 10pm intending to see the moonlight over the beautiful bay about half a mile from our apartment. The shortcut took us through the 'cow field' so we checked the cows were well away from us at the far corner of the field. We got half way across the field when, literally a few yards away, a sitting down cow slowly got up and faced us. We screamed, grabbed each other with me calling for calm but all four of us instinctively ran for our lives heading for the far gate. We giggled hysterically as we went but one of my granddaughters was trying to get us to hear that she'd lost one of her flip flops. We got to the gate, calmed ourselves down but decided none of us was going to be foolish enough to try to retrieve the flip flop. What a sight we must have been, one hopping along but all four laughing uncontrollably as we made our way back to the apartment using the long route. Thoughts of the moonlit bay gone from our thoughts. A final note which is absolutely true...we returned at daylight looking for the flip flop. To no avail. We walked the same field three times over the course of the next nine months. Almost one year later, I was walking across the field with a friend and there, practically on the spot where the incident had occurred was the flip flop. A little faded and jaded looking but it was ours, without a doubt.

My Granddaughter and I shared a hotel bedroom at New Year. I was woken at about 3am by her snoring.

In the morning I told her that for an eleven year old she had a very loud snore.

"Oh really Grandma, then listen to this !"

She then proceeded to switch her phone on and play a tape of me snoring like a pig.

Oops !

My funniest memory of my grandson was when he was, literally, the 'star' at the school nativity play. He was centre stage and dressed in the largest star costume and sang the first verse of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star solo before the other (reception class) children were supposed to join in with the other four verses. They didn't; so he tried hard to make up for all the missing voices by continuing to sing in an ever louder voice whilst trying to chivvy up the others using eye and hand gestures - becoming obviously more and more exasperated. The sight of him continuing to sing whilst conducting pantomime gestures trying to get the rest of the class to join in was hilarious and most of the audience were crying with laughter by the time he finally - and very loudly - got to the end of the song. He got a well deserved standing ovation from staff and parents.

My DD was called in to the class to hear about my DGD, aged 4,latest antics.
The class teacher had the children sat on the floor for story time before they all went home. As she read the story she stopped to ask questions.
DGD under her breath but loud enough for teacher to hear "for gods sake can't you just get on with the story"

A few years ago my hubby and I took our two grandchildren to Lego land. Our grandson was only three at the time and we payed for him to go on the little cars which went around a small track. I put him in a car and showed him which pedal he had to use. One to go the other to stop. He wasn't prepared to wait for the other children to start and there I was going around the track trying to hold him back.

My best memory is short and sweet.When my grandson,Jack,was 7 he asked if we could go to McDonalds.I said what's the magic word expecting please and he replied abracadabra!!

My funniest memory so far is a recent one! My Grandson Freddie(approaching 2 years old) Greeted me at the door with Daddy, Daddy said 'Would you like a drink Nannie' ? Freddie Said 'Nannie Eat' grabbed my hand & took me off to the kitchen larder-slammed back the door & looked around-spotted the Crisps & pointed 'Nannie Eat(Meaning 'Freddie Eat'! ) What a lovely if devious greeting!!

The man with the garden backing onto the alley at our house was annoyed with the children running up the alley and playing (!). He said it made his dogs bark. He came to shout at them holding one of his dogs. They were white with red eyes (dont know types of dog very well). I gave him a piece of my mind, finished off with " Its the first time I have seen a pig holding a pig". The children thought it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. I know it was naughty, but I dont care!

Watching TV showing a fire in a local hotel where Nan sometimes had part-time work, firemen were going in and out and back again. Granddaughter lisped that she knew why they were going back in and out again .... it was to steal the sugar cubes that Nan always gave her!

I took my grandson to our local Co-op to buy a few items and the shop assistant looked at my extremely cute grandson and said hello Sweetheart, unfortunately he took grave offence to this and informed the lady in a stern voice that he wasn't her sweetheart, he was Granny's sweetheart! Luckily she saw the funny side of this!

Tricking Grandpa by making a beautiful "cream" trifle (which was actually shaving foam!) He got onto the second spoonful before even realising.

went to Skegness on coachtrip, before we left I took everyone to the loo, as you do!, I never noticed that there were two ways in and out, didn't see the family when I came out of cubicle i left and wandered away looking for them, muttering about them being tykes for running off, about 20 minutes later, the coach driver and the children were hurrying towards me, 'come on gran, you got lost' he says, the kids did have the sense to walk the right way, and tell the coach driver they lost me!!!!'scatty gran'.

Having struggled to get in a tight parking space my Grandson said does your Parkinson's make you bad at parking Nanna?

We went out on our dingy with our granddaughters and didn’t want to leave my handbag on the beach unattended. On returning to the beach I tried to disembark the dingy gracefully and tripped submerging my whole body but I ensured I held my handbag up out of the water to keep it dry! My granddaughters and son now refer to my handbag as Excalibur as they said it was like the lady of the lake holding it aloft!

When my grandson asked me to remove the pillow from under my jumper. There was no pillow there ;)

I was babysitting our Grandsons one afternoon at their house the oldest Grandson was 4 and the youngest 2, I went into the kitchen to get them both a drink, when I came back in I could hear the youngest crying, but for the life of me I couldn't find him, I asked Toby the oldest, where is your brother, he just shrugged his shoulders and said I don't know, I was frantic, I was only gone a couple of minutes, the sobbing was continuing, I looked under the cupboard under the stairs and thought, there is no way he could get in there, the sobbing was louder, there was my youngest grandson, in a box, in the dark, he couldn't of got in the cupboard without a certain person helping him, I shouted at Toby and said why, he said with his hands on his hips, that he was getting on his nerves, I scolded him saying the dark could of frightened him etc, but Toby just looked at me haha, but then the youngest said to Toby AGAIN!!!! I couldn't believe it, I laugh now but at the time I didnt