Impact on our grandchildren’s emotional mental health

I also have a teenage autistic grandson who lives 200 miles away. Anyone who knows anything about autism will know how blunt they can be he sent me this following message “Nanna this virus is attacking old people wash your hands in hot salt water please” it really made me smile because I’m not that old and it was very sweet for him to think of me. It also made me realise that he is obviously worried about this virus and me.

I was just thinking this today. My DD came round to delver some shopping to me and she had 4 and 7 year olds with her - they ran around the garden and climbed the maple tree, while DD and I chatted - 2 m apart of course.

The children had been primed not to dash up and hug me as they usually do and they did very well. We sent each other hugs across the garden. One said: "I do not like coronavirus" - what this does to their psyche long term I do not know. Being told not to hug those they love and stay a distance away from them is so grossly abnormal.

If anyone can access Saturdays Times magazine, Caitlin Moran has written a beautiful article about a conversation she's had with her teenage daughter. Funny, sweet and optimistic. I don't think I can do a link but I'll try. [I love Caitlin...]

Our daughter said she was bathing the grandchildren and when she turned her back to put some folded towels away, she heard the 3y old say to her 7y old brother ‘Jxxxx I don’t like this virus’.

She held back for a minute to gauge where this might go and perhaps step in.

Her brother replied ‘don’t be scared it’s not at home it’s out in the streets’.

They carried on playing.
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My 15 yr old GD is very lonely and I fear she will become depressed she’s worrying about me, her Mum who is carrying on working as well as all her friends and wider family. She keeps messaging me to ask if I’m ok and what can she do to help me. I’m at a loss as to what to say to her. I’m sure there are many kids feeling the same.

I think it would be wrong to shield them completely - they'd soon realise that there was something amiss and be even more traumatised. Better to explain things simply and to engage them in helping so that they feel there is something positive to do - and to try to be as positive as possible ourselves. Plenty of children came through the war without being permanently damaged mentally or emotionally (OK, some didn't). It is possible to be too protective.

Obviously children don't need to hear all the data about how many are ill or have died.

I think people of all ages are going to suffer for a long time over this. But is must be especially awful for children that are emotionally vulnerable already.

It is a trying time for children and they desperately need shielding from the worries. We adults must put their needs first.