I had a very dear lady ask me today if there was anything I wanted as she was going to the shop.
She shouted this at a distance of about 6 metres for which I was glad and she, no doubt, would have been gladder had she realised I'd just eaten raw garlic. (We get vampires round here)
She'd had to wait a few minutes for me to answer as I was in the loo when she first arrived and, as I came out, shouted at her, "Sorry, I was on the throne and I've just used the last of of the bathroom spray, so if you can get that, I'd be grateful.'
Even living by myself I prefer a deodorised toilet after a visit.
I added, as she trotted away, '...and if you see any toilet rolls....'
Sadly, I should have been more precise - she returned with one of those spray & wipe cleaners. No loo rolls.
Now, does she expect me to use Mr Muscle on my fundament, instead of toilet tissue?
I've heard that striking a match in the lavatory when you've made a smell is a good way of dealing with it.
I'll experiment.
Watch this space for news of an elderly New Zealander being rushed to hospital with singed derriere after inadvertently igniting Mr Muscle.