Neighbour breaking lockdown

my neighbour`s girlfriend has returned here this evening, 100 miles and she travelled to her own home 2 weeks ago. I am really quite cross about this, no doubt they will be giving me all sorts of explanations and will be chatting at a distance but this time I am going to be cool towards them. I won`t report them but they obviously do not care about other people, shopkeepers and the like. I will be ok as I keep my distance but . I don`t curtain twitch, I saw her car

dontmindstayinghome I feel for you. Seems to me that you are using common sense in what is a very difficult situation. I always liked the saying, "Never judge a person until you have walked two miles in their shoes." Something like that anyway.

Hi Northernandproud It reminds me of when my 31 year old non driver husband was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. His work paid for driving lessons and I gave him my car and bought another second hand one so he could have independence for as long as he could, which was so important to him. Some very do good green neighbours from quite a few doors away knocked on our door and said it was unacceptable that we had two cars. I told them he had MND. They moved away not long after. Lets hope they didn't make assumptions again. That was a long time ago but glad to be able to get that off my chest.

Yesterday 20:07Chardy
That's the point they normally dont bother with any of the neighbours for any reason, but this one time they thought it would be a good idea to phone the police to report my husband leaving everyday to have his treatment

I wrote a comment further up with my own conundrum on this.
Basically why can I chat to neighbours from a distance, people I see on a walk and my Daughter from the end of her or my drive but then it's classed as a "rule break" for her to sit in my (large) garden and chat still at distance.
Since then I've had a convo with my immediate neighbour who told me that her and her hubby have cycled to a friends house and stopped for a cuppa in their garden, but sat apart. Her hubby is a police officer ?‍♀️
So I've come to the conclusion that the problem is assumption.
We see people going into back gardens etc and assume they are partying, sitting together eating and drinking or going into the actual house.
Unless you have proof of the above I think you should keep out of others business.

The worst thing I find about going out is the way people completely disregard the rules. I'm walking through pathway to green open space and have to stop to pick up dog poo and the people behind me, who were a decent distance to start with, just carry on walking towards me. They don't stop and wait. Only if it is painted on the floor in supermarket queue. And I was standing waiting to pay at till yesterday when a man came up to my shoulder and said are you in this queue? I told him to stand back and told him where to stand and he did. So perhaps speak your mind directly to them? Perhaps some people have to have it spelt out. Or perhaps there is a good reason whereupon you could thank them for letting you know. tbh I'm just quite pleased with myself saying: 'Stand back'. Will definitely do that again. And I think a scarf/mask helps.

Craftycat, on a bit of a lighter note, love your comment about OH never going to be allowed to retire after this, when we both retired a friend asked how we coped with each other 24/7, my reply was, we tried to never be in the same room together, try it, it does work!!

The big problem is that all these Law Breakers that mingle and mix, are undoing all the efforts of others therefore we could end up going round in circles. With the virus taking longer and longer to disperse.

These people think "I'm all right Jack, I'm not going to get it"!

Well lets face it this virus has no boundries.

I agree with you Saetana. It really is a pathetic comparison.

Report them. If there are circumstances we don't know about, they can explain that to the police.

They really don't seem to understand how the infection is transmitted - or are too selfish to care.

Sorry to teach people how to suck eggs, but there are obviously some who don't understand …

If just one of those people is currently in the incubation period (ie infected but not showing any symptoms), there is a serious risk that the infection will be passed to all the others, who will then go on to infect others, etc etc.

People who are prepared to break the rules massively once are unlikely to respect it in all other circumstances. It really is people like this who are causing the spread and means that any attempt at a return to "normality" is dangerous.

I see that Godwin's Law has raised it's ugly head on this thread! Can anyone SERIOUSLY compare letting the police know about lockdown breakers to the bloody Nazis??? At worst it will mean a fine, most just get a lecture about how they should be behaving. These people are affecting all of us and making sure we won't be out of lockdown any time soon.

Please don’t. As long as you don’t go near them, all fine for you. The rest is their problem. This whole lockdown thing is so badly managed.
Did you see pictures of Westminster Bridge for the nhs clap last night? Rammed with people. Police all around. Including Cressida Dick!

What a nasty comment.Was that directed at me ?

I suggest you stop curtain twitching and get on with your own life!! .... Are you actually telling us you are perffect in all your actions and deeds?? I somehow doubt it!

Chill ?That's ironic.I am in the main.Well actually I have a high temperature.And I worry about my DD who dons full PPE to work on an ICU. And not currently being able to leave my house until my temperature has been down for 48 hours to go care for my very elderly mum who I cook,clean and care for.I think different circumstances do colour your attitude somewhat.

Chill

I can tell the difference between a single person arriving at the house and a carload of relatives arriving. But then I'd probably know if my neighbour had carers coming in.
Northern - I'm sorry for the stress of having a husband in chemo (and an unpleasant neighbour) but personally I would appreciate a neighbour whose notices that someone's car hasn't moved when normally it does, or that the post is still stuck in the letterbox many hours after the postie's been.
Shame we've lost everyone sharing a friendly milkman or even a paperboy/girl; so the COVID legacy has to be that we look after those around our area.

It's such a difficult one. Neighbours can be such a curse. I agree with other posts: they are risking infecting each other, even killing each other and do not care. They also do not care about putting added pressure on the NHS and this is also unforgivable. What can you do? I don't know the answer, but maybe just keep away and hope that they stop. If you report, they'll probably know it was you and that'll just cause even more aggravation fot you. Look after yourself and loved ones as you are doing.

I’d hate to fall out as well. But I’d have a very difficult time respecting them going forward.

I appreciate that summerlove and to some extent I think you're right but, as I said, we can only control our own behaviour and as long as we're each satisfied and confident that we, personally, are doing what we're being asked to do, then that has to be enough. I would hate to fall out with my neighbours about it because we have to live alongside them (hopefully), long after this is consigned to history.

I'm glad my neighbours seem to be doing the right thing - if they are breaking rules I haven't noticed. For the most part I'm ignoring rule breaking I witness elsewhere. I've not seen much as I'm staying at home most of the time myself. I've had a few visitors dropping things off to me - medicines, homemade cake and veg from a friend's allotment, all gratefully received. Each time they have been left on the doorstep and the bell rung, then we've had a chat, with me at my door and the visitor at a suitable distance. I've made similar drop offs to a couple of people too. I don't know if dropping off a gift to a friend is strictly allowed but it certainly brightens a day when you live alone and see few people. The rest of the time we communicate on social media and have get-togethers on zoom. If this is breaking the rules I'm glad my friends have done so. My family all live hundreds of miles away and plans to meet at Easter obviously had to be cancelled so although video calls etc are lovely, seeing people in the flesh is so nice and everyone is keeping an appropriate distance. I've been out to clap for the NHS every Thursday and talked to neighbours - also at a distance. Last night I had a long conversation with a neighbour I'd never really spoken to before, despite living next door but one to her for many years as we are normally always at work and come and go by car. Hopefully when this is all over our relationships with neighbours will be strengthened as we've weathered a common storm. I certainly wouldn't want to spoil neighbourly relations by reporting inappropriate behaviour so I'm grateful I haven't really witnessed any. I think serious and repeated rule breaking would upset me but I'm still unsure if I'd report it. We rarely know the whole story and there may be circumstances we don't know about.

chewbacca, I didn’t say they should be reported.
Just that the reasoning is flawed if the only reason you aren’t reporting is to not “fall out”.

3nanny6, I don't live in the same household as my Mother but I visit her every day sometimes more than once. I am her carer so there is no choice in the matter, she simply can not manage on her own.
The suggestion that I should move into her cramped one bedroomed sheltered accommodation flat is frankly ridiculous - and pointless as I would still have to come and go to do her shopping as well as shopping for my daughter who is also vulnerable.
Whilst there are some people who are clearly flouting the lockdown the majority aren't and there are many like myself who have to work within the rules the best way we can.

For the record, my Mother is much safer with me going in and out than she would be if we employed carers as they see many people and enter many different homes over the course of their working day - I only visit her and self isolate the rest of the time.

Its not against the guidelines for my neighbours daughter to visit her. She has a disabled son at home too and next door is not suitable for his needs so the daughter has to go back and forth. No choice. You are allowed to visit vulnerable people. Again if both households are isolated the risk is minimal. So judging people who may be doing what they have to do is wrong. People having parties and hanging out in large groups is one thing, people taking care of vulnerable relatives is another. Unless you know all the ins and outs of the situation, you are just being judgemental.

I only have control over my actions summerlove; I can't control the actions of my neighbours. I might inwardly judge them for their actions but it would never cross my mind to report anyone to the police because I don't know what's going on in their lives and households that's making them take risks.