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Coronavirus

I’d be interested on views on this

(116 Posts)
Grannynannywanny Wed 22-Apr-20 11:34:08

Yesterday bumped into an acquaintance on country walk. She’s 63 and very good health. Lives 1 mile from her daughter and family and was very tearful about not being allowed to walk by their house and chat in garden at a safe distance. We chatted for 15 mins at safe distance while tears continued to flow. At the end she said what’s difference between us chatting here together and someone chatting with family safely distanced in garden or open parkland? I’m doing best to observe guidelines but I did find it hard to come up with an answer to her question ( my grandkids are 100 miles away so I promise you this isn’t about me!)

Daisymae Wed 22-Apr-20 16:20:10

There's no reason at all why your friend should not see her family from a distance. In fact I would say that in view of her distress then it would be a positive thing to do. It's important that we do what we can to make this very difficult situation as bearable as possible. Especially as it is likely to be going on for some time yet.

Grannygrandma7 Thu 23-Apr-20 09:58:32

I too don't understand why your friend couldn't walk the mile to her daughters house and talk to her over the gate/fence, I wouldn't go as far as to suggest they all sit 2m apart in the garden but over the fence or gate is different , its no different to being in the crowded supermarket or on public transport, the govt say that children can pass between parents / carers so what is the difference in what your friend wants to do. Thats just my thoughts

Craftycat Thu 23-Apr-20 10:03:28

People are doing this. It is not a problem. My neighbour sees his daughter & GC every day as she shops for him & drops it round. Then she stands in front garden & he stands at window or front door & they chat.
I just wish my DGC were close enough for me to do the same!
(although I don't need anyone shopping for me & I'm shopping for neighbours.)

SueWll Thu 23-Apr-20 10:03:39

I'm a bit concerned that you bumped into your friend!
gringrin

Nannapat1 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:07:19

Can't see any problem as long as social distancing is observed. As for sitting on a bench touched by an asymptomatic carrier...well similar could happen on an 'essential' outing to supermarket, pharmacy etc. That's why we try not to touch our faces and do wash our hands frequently.

polnan Thu 23-Apr-20 10:07:36

Bathsheba,, and there lies the problem, everyone is NOT grown up,, hear of the cars being driven as though on a race track? false news?

I think the Government should EXPLAIN the whys and wherefores...

could make someone like me,, get in my car and go visit my gks.. about 6 miles away???

create resentment,, well people are human beings and no everyone is not sensible and adult unfortunately,

why the stockpiling? why those who can go to Supermarkets, within the rules, still having online orders and delivery,, to name but a few

deep sighs

I think the Government should explain the why!
I asked my MP to confirm that "self isolated, over 70`s, no underlying....etc! and for Government written guidelines on this.. His assistant admitted they did not know and had to go search and enquire of other departments for the written guidelines...

I asked for this because another lady and I differed on the interpretation..
perhaps we are heading for stricter lockdowns because of those "adults" are not observing the rules?

harrigran Thu 23-Apr-20 10:11:30

My Neighbour's DD stands on the drive and talks as she passes on her evening walk and all is well.
Another neighbour started off with family talking on the drive but then they started going into the house, that neighbour now has the virus.
I do not see a problem if they really do observe the safe distance, sadly some will do what they want regardless.

NannyG123 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:14:48

My son gets my shopping , knocks and then stands at the front gate, I stand on my porch,we chat for about 5 mins . And it's nice. My daughter lives just down the road but has many anxieties about leaving the house at the moment. And she wants us to stay home. So we don't see het other than by facetiming. But I respect her and understand her anxieties so would not do or say anything to make them worse for her.

Debs551964 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:18:31

Witzend I feel the same as you. My GC aren't very far away but if I did visit in person I'd get upset and be unable to Control my urge to hug them all, so I'm my personal feelings are its e|||better to keep away, what I can say is thank goodness for technology. At least we all can speak to our loved ones via video call.

Redhead56 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:20:45

Chestnut please don't hang out your window too far as you could have an accident. The last thing anyone needs now is to end up in hospital.

Hetty58 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:25:12

Sometimes (only about monthly) my daughter drops off shopping. She leaves it in the porch. We have a good chat through a closed window - on the phone. I don't see any problem with that.

chezza1 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:28:15

I stand on a stepladder so I can see over the fence and have coffee everyday with my friend next door. She sits on her patio and make our own coffee.

aonk Thu 23-Apr-20 10:31:00

Starting last week we sat outside our house with our neighbours. Everyone brought their own chair and drink. We all sat a lot more than 2 metres apart. We agreed that it had done us so all much good that it will become a weekly event weather permitting. One neighbour in particular is unwell and prone to depression. It really lifted her mood.
We also visit local family once a week. It’s a 5 minute car ride. We stand on the pavement and they stand by their front door. We chat for 10 minutes. We are so much further away from them than we would be in a shop or on the street that we feel we’re not taking any risks. I know not everyone would agree but this helps us get by.

TATT Thu 23-Apr-20 10:38:49

I really can’t see the difference between chatting with a stranger in a queue and chatting with a family member you might encounter. I literally live a stones throw from my grandchildren. If they are in the garden when I go for a walk, they come over to the wall and we have a little chat. I stay at least 10 feet away from them and am not making a ‘non-essential’ journey to pass their garden. I speak to other neighbours as I pass, too.

Granval Thu 23-Apr-20 10:39:37

I agree with the walking past at a sage distance .. and the person who mentioned overthinking the rules .. I guess not many of us on here experienced actual war time conditions .. which went on for years not months along with all the deprivation that war entailed ... I can only just remember some rationing when I was small .. however as a grandparent I am itching to see my granddaughter again .. so is my husband . He can’t see why we can’t drive to see them and sit outside their house and wave ! But what good would that do ? We’d all get upset and it would be a 100 mile round trip ! We FaceTime nearly every day so she won’t forget us .. I want to see my daughter and son in law too... but we text also every day and they are doing a great job both working from home .. thank goodness .. and sharing looking after their daughter ( demanding 2 year old ) .. she must be missing her friends from nursery too. But thankfully she’s blissfully unaware of the situation . But if I lived nearer to them I’d definitely walk past and at least wave and have a little chat at the proper distance .. course I would .. as long as no one was upset by it and it was part of my daily routine .. no cuddles till it’s allowed though .. ?

Nannan2 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:48:47

Its ok to chat at safe distance- but i would stay at the outside of the fence though- just in case the kiddies rushed up towards her for hugs- then shes chance to move back- same as for other friend with new baby,whats wrong with looking through window so long as far back enough to be a safe distance& just looking.(my late mums old phrase "you look with your eyes,not with your hands" comes to mind,and is good advice now & in the future, isnt it?) Sadly my new grandchild due shortly lives too far for me to do that, & may likely arrive very early anyway so would be in neonatal unit.sad

Hellis Thu 23-Apr-20 10:50:20

My son brings his little daughter, when he drops my shopping off onto my front step, when out on their walk. They step back a good 4metres before I open the door and we chat for a while, keeping our distance. My granddaughter brings me pictures and flowers she's picked and leaves them on the step too. It certainly cheers me up. Unfortunately my other grandchildren live several miles away so I'm only able to see them on facetime

Riggie Thu 23-Apr-20 10:51:11

Well to be honest the two of you probablh shouldn't have been chatting....but I guess we all would!!

Nannan2 Thu 23-Apr-20 10:55:06

Redhead56,im sure Chestnut's not stupid, why would she lean out of window too far?hmm

Barmeyoldbat Thu 23-Apr-20 11:02:51

I see no reason at all why she can't go near their house, stand at the gate and have a chat. I see my son every week, he drives over on his way home from work, and stands outside for a chat. He also picks up his bags of groceries that I had bought. Its good to see family for your mental health.

GoldenAge Thu 23-Apr-20 11:03:12

Grannynannywanny - there's no difference at all - your friend is obviously feeling distraught and it would be in the interests of her own mental health for her to see her family and grandchildren under the circumstances she describes. My daughter and son-in-law and grandchildren all take turns in delivering supplies to me on foot or by car if things are too heavy and we talk in the garden at a safe distance. I know of people whose family have side entrances to back gardens that are big enough to social distance and who visit and sit for half an hour 2 m away but don't have a drink as they might need the loo and going into the house would be out of bounds. Essential business outside the house includes attending to health matters and if the isolation is severely affecting someone then it's far better to see family at a distance than to become depressed at home.

Chewbacca Thu 23-Apr-20 11:03:13

Well to be honest the two of you probablh shouldn't have been chatting....but I guess we all would

Why shouldn't they have been chatting Riggie? confused

Nannan2 Thu 23-Apr-20 11:04:43

And Riggie,why shouldnt the 2 be chatting??If theyre at least 6 feet apart why on earth not??Do people really believe we arent allowed to actually speak to anyone ever again or something? Why does no one seem to grasp the rules? Near to people- NO! 6 feet away - yes,speak to them if you want.! Theres no rule we can't talk to anyone!

Maremia Thu 23-Apr-20 11:05:12

Yes, go and do a safe distance visit the family. My Granddaughter has worked out a 'goodbye' dance that we do together when they are leaving. We do this instead of hugs. Nobody comes into the house. Soon we will have our masks organised too.

Marmight Thu 23-Apr-20 11:09:16

I live in a sparsely populated rural area. I see my daughter & GSs a couple of times a week when she brings supplies. They are a good 10 feet away at the gate. Yesterday while on my walk, I met them in the village by chance. We had a long chat from one side of the road to the other. We have, apart from the daily walk, all been isolating for nearly 5 weeks. I can see no problem. I haven’t seen my other UK family since January but we all keep in touch on WhatsApp or Zoom along with my Oz family. Everyone has to be sensible & keep a sense of proportion. I could legally go to the supermarket, but I don’t.