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“ I just called to say I am sorry”

(51 Posts)
Tweedle24 Sun 26-Apr-20 09:46:33

Did anyone else hear the heart-rending broadcast from the ITU consultant on ‘Sunday’, Radio 4 this morning?

He wrote it inspired by ‘I Just Called to Say I Love You’.

He was describing calling a woman with news that her husband had been admitted with C19 and was now on a ventilator. He was sorry that he could not hold her hand, that she could not hold her husband’s hand and that she could not see how sorry the doctor was. Later he described calling her to say he had deteriorated and then that he had died.

I listened to it with tears streaming down my face. There was such compassion.

Another reason to stick to the government’s advice, I think.

Urmstongran Sun 26-Apr-20 10:04:13

I am not unsympathetic but I try to avoid all sad tales at present. Heartbreaking stories upset me more than usual. It would do me no favours to be in tears. If something distressing comes on the news I switch it off. Once those awful images are seen they can’t be unseen.

I’ve felt like this ever since the news of that poor 13y old boy about 3 weeks dying alone (no family beside him) in hospital.

It upset me for days. I deliberately swerve such stories now.

timetogo2016 Sun 26-Apr-20 10:09:29

I`m with you Urmstongran.
I have been looking on you tube for things to take my mind of all that`s going on and it really is helpfull.
There are some really funny clips.

annep1 Sun 26-Apr-20 11:13:18

It's just all too sad.I try to avoid it all and distract myself. I just wish my husband would do likewise.
Youtube is helpful.

maddyone Sun 26-Apr-20 11:15:38

I wish I could forget about it. But I can’t.

Harris27 Sun 26-Apr-20 11:20:37

I agree with you urmonstongran I’ve being ringing my sister every day just to have a chat and look out for her. We had been listening to the news and it got so deepressing I could feel myself diving into a dark hole. It didn’t make it better when I read the government backtracked and said they should of been allowed to go.

EllanVannin Sun 26-Apr-20 11:31:02

Urmston, I'm the same. Not only are these things upsetting in an already uncertain situation, but I start feeling ill too and can't afford to go down that road of misery when so many other things loom when trying to " rise above it ".

Much as my thoughts and sympathy goes out to everyone suffering there are times when you have to take stock of those around you in your immediate lives.

BlueBelle Sun 26-Apr-20 11:48:03

What government advice though Tweedke it’s all so woolly and open to such varied interpretations
I heard in the news today that they are considering putting people who are arriving in U.K. into 2 week isolation Ye Gods that should have happened from day 1 There is no absolutely no value in all this house arrest if people are still entering the country willy nilly I had an in law travel back from South America area about three weeks ago believing they had had or were still at the end stages of CV and went straight out shopping to fill the fridge up and they are an intelligent very nice professionally retired person (live no where near me thankfully)
I too can’t watch all these sad stories I m too upset about it all without adding to my unhappiness if there’s nothing I can do to help I just can’t soak it all up any more

GrandmasueUK Sun 26-Apr-20 12:00:04

I'm the same Urmston I have some family and friends who send me sad and uplifting videos. I have to avoid them as I don't want constant reminders that we are all having a horrendous time. I stand and clap on Thursdays with tears streaming down my face, as my daughter is an NHS worker and I'm doing it for her as well as all the other brave key workers.

GagaJo Sun 26-Apr-20 12:20:50

I have to balance enough scary / sad stuff to keep me focused on the necessity for strict lockdown for another 2 months with optimistic stuff to convince me it's improving.

What is the situation in Spain Urmstongran? My Swiss school is putting pressure on me to go back BUT I'm not convinced it's safe even though flights restart at the beginning of May.

Callistemon Sun 26-Apr-20 12:34:02

That's before your 12 week lockdown, though, Gagajo
Are they opening again so soon and are other staff returning then? Surely they would understand.
It's up to you, of course, but I don't think I would want to go back so soon.

Hearing about the 13 year old boy upset me so much, I am in tears again thinking about him and his poor family.

Having rather a wobbly day today.

maddyone Sun 26-Apr-20 13:21:53

Me too Grandmasue we have a daughter and her husband working in the NHS. I’m so afraid for them and for their children. I clap for them every week with the hope in my heart that all will be well.
Gaga I wouldn’t return yet if I were you. You’re safe in your flat with your daughter and little grandson.
Callistemon we all have wobbly days so just go with it. Hopefully you’ll fee better tomorrow flowers

Galaxy Sun 26-Apr-20 13:35:40

Tweddle, I heard it and thought it was excellent at expressing the dedication and sense if duty of those in the health service.

Urmstongran Sun 26-Apr-20 14:25:44

What is the situation in Spain Urmstongran?
Ah GagaJo. - children 14y and under are out today after 42 days!
I saw littlies wearing a mask, holding onto their mummies hands and I cried, looking out from my landing outside the front door. Little girls, the same as as our granddaughter - 3y old, tugged my heartstrings.
I’m so emotional these days it doesn’t take much to set me off!
Sometimes the children and their parents would look up as they passed the block.
I’d wave and give a thumbs up and they did too.
A milestone day indeed here in Spain.
And apparently Pedro Sanchez the Spanish PM is considering letting us adults out for exercise from next Saturday- 2 May. I’m SO excited! It has been brought forward from 9 May. So that will be 49 days, instead of waiting 56.
I so want to go outside the building (even though I’ll probably feel a little apprehensive).

Thank you for asking.

Bubbe Sun 26-Apr-20 15:22:24

I heard it this morning and was very moved. The words were from the heart with a soothing, melodic lightness of touch. Such compassion and empathy!

It wasn't scary.

Callistemon Sun 26-Apr-20 16:17:10

maddyone thank you

Tweedle24 Sun 26-Apr-20 22:21:56

Galaxy and Bubbe Thank you. I thought it showed tremendous dedication and compassion. It was emotional but, I thought it was a tribute to the NHS

polnan Mon 27-Apr-20 09:50:29

Urmstomgran,,, yes, I am finding BBC Breakfast too depressing, especially, when they are broadcasting the people whose loved one has died recently..

I can`t do that..

Grandmafrench Mon 27-Apr-20 09:55:17

I’m having a good day but crying just reading about it and totally understand where Grandmasue Ellan and Urmston are coming from. I feel total empathy, sympathy and such sadness at other people’s distress, but at the moment am powerless to actually help or change stuff and that is what drags me down and sometimes makes me feel desperate and panicky.
This is what we need to avoid: to stop both our emotional and perhaps physical health being affected. Everyone has their coping mechanisms and mine now involve restricting the amount of my ‘bad news exposure’. Until we are again (fairly) free and we have real order and positivity in our lives, I feel we need to pay careful heed to our feelings.

lizzypopbottle Mon 27-Apr-20 10:13:45

I think it's right that we understand that doctors and nurses are not automatons. They see more tragedies every day than most of us will witness in our lives and we are all grateful that they are there. HOWEVER I would urge everyone to stay away from the broadcast news (TV and radio) other than a catch up once a day. I truly believe that the news reports are dramatised and sensationalised, simply by being presented by an actual person, and repeated over and over, all day. I read the digital version of the newspaper each morning and that's it. By reading, rather than watching, there's no handwringing, no sombre voices, no reporters vying to get their face and voice seen outside number 10 or (how can this be allowed?) dressed in PPE and getting in the way in an ITU setting!

Please don't torture yourself by watching the news constantly. The facts almost certainly don't change over the course of a day. Watch or read once then do something else for the rest of the day. Don't watch before bedtime! Try to avoid too many conversations about it. They just go round and round, like the news programmes, and make you feel more anxious.

Joesoap Mon 27-Apr-20 10:30:39

I am so pleased to read the news today, the figures have decreased remarkably today, fortunately the deaths have decreased which is so encouraging, however there is bound to be a bombshell later today,I try not to look at the news on tv as it does get depressing thinking of all thoes poor people dying without loved ones nearby.Its not easy not to be affected, but we must stay positive, there is a future.Now Boris is back in action we should get some positive news!

Annaram1 Mon 27-Apr-20 10:37:27

My son is a doctor and so is my daughter in law, and my sister in law is a nurse. I read today that a quarter of all GPs don't have enough PPE. That worries me a lot. My son says the Government is lying when they say doctors and nurses have enough PPE. They have been told to make it last.
And I do try not to watch the news all through the day as that makes me worry more for my son and daughter in law, working without enough PPE.

Jillybird Mon 27-Apr-20 10:44:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nannan2 Mon 27-Apr-20 10:51:11

I for one would not have left any child of mine alone like that in that situation,even if i put myself at have asked for a full cover suit if i had to but would have been there with normally a very strong kind of person, but a few days ago,when we'd done the 'claps' i think it was,on the tv the ads where they send messages,the NHS sent one for us,the british public,to thank us for staying in,clapping for us,and i was so moved i found myself with tears in my eyes.sad

Nannan2 Mon 27-Apr-20 10:55:56

I know Joesoap,i was heartened a few days ago,it had dropped to in the 400's- but then day after had almost doubled again!And then up mòre since. Its all sending my blood pressure up!