Tonight I lost it and just wept ....

Interesting how many of us have had a little meltdown at the same time. But being the resourceful determined ladies we are, we will dig deep and keep going for everyone else because we expect it of ourselves. We are all in the same storm, different boats , and take inspiration and fortitude from the group women who went before x

I had a couple of those days last week. Tried to give myself a talking to but that just made it worse. So I had a good cry and then another. I was told yesterday by my Specialist Nurse that I am entitled to have bad days and not to be too hard on myself. I think that applies to us all. So lets cry together, get angry together, and get through this together. We are all here for each other which is a bonus.
Love the poem Ginny xx

My son's friend is an intensive care nurse. He is working his normal hours then voluntarily working overtime. Today he finished a 12 hour night shift in ICU, only to find his bike had been stolen from the car park. This beggars belief but it may have a happy outcome. A colleague trweeted the theft and it has been taken up by a Channel 4 newscaster. Hopefully my son's friend may be donated a new bike.

Ginny thank you for that poem. It has comforted me, and I will cut and paste and send it to my dear lifelong friend who lost her husband recently and is isolating alone. She is bravely coping with overhwelming grief as well as the fears in this upside down world we have now.
I am probably an irritatingly optimistic person as I will try hard to find the upside of everything - 'have never seen any point in doing anything else - but several times lately as I try to sleep there has been a sense of real panic. My children and grandchildren, my son trying to keep his job, my daughter with her compromised health, my grandson with asthma, the innocent younger ones who will be returning to school - it just gets too much, and then I fear dying and being unable to help them ever again, and be the comforter that they can still turn to in bad times. The morning usually brings a much brighter mood, and it must be said that life has been calmer because I have stopped listening to the rolling news and having the worst of it poured into my brain 24/7.
This will pass - all things pass. Keep safe, everyone.

I’m just angry. I have been against this Tory government since it was voted in and everything I predicted would happen has. I was incredulous when planes were still flying in from China and Italy with no quarantine. I was further shocked by how long they left it before the lockdown. When we were finally in lockdown I was angry at all the deaths caused by not doing it soon enough. But they seemed to get their act together and the rate of infection slowed down. I began to feel sorry for them and angry when they were pushed to announce an exit strategy. I admired them, for sticking to their guns. It seems all it took to announce that people could return to work was the realisation that if the economy was impacted largely enough then they, too might be affected. So workers are being thrown under the bus and I am shocked, but not surprised. This is Capitalism. Please don’t tell me not to bring politics into it, because this is all about politics. Did I mention that I was angry?

done any better!

I totally agree aonk.

The government might not be full of my favourite people, but could Labour have not any better?

It is easy to criticise from the sidelines...this situation of course is totally unprecedented and we are all feeling our way.

However I do criticise the fact that PPE expiry dates were not checked and allowed to get out of date (Channel 4 news).
Also...the situation in care homes was not properly considered.

I'm so sorry cupcake1. I too have been struggling with my emotions recently. I suffer from fibromyalgia which is a constant pain and I've recently had to have 2 referrals to outpatients about other issues and the clinics are of course not operating as normal just now so it could be months & months before I get a diagnosis. We live in a very isolated farmhouse with no neighbours so I rarely see anyone other than DH who spends a lot of time working in the garden or somewhere on the farm. Our son has unexpectedly been called back to work overseas and will be gone for at least 6 weeks, leaving DDIL with a 7 year old and a 2 year old with learning difficulties. He could go back to nursery 2 days a week which is what he needs as his progress has stopped without stimulation & he is regressing but DDIL will have to work, leaving 7 year old with nowhere to go. I feel we need to help but can't see how, given the constraints, though there's no joined up thinking - children of separated parents can move between 2 houses, people who've rowed can move elsewhere to cool down, cleaners & nannies can work in peoples' homes... none of it makes any sense. I feel completely unsettled, bemused and miserable & am certainly doing quite a bit of crying right now.

Those of us who are shielding relatives are beyond worried that the government is going to sacrifice more lives for the sake of the economy. As long as it isn't one of their relatives, that's ok then.

Very touching Ginny ??

Hi. I understand totally your break down. I read this below and it helped me feel better about the moments I feel exactly the same as you.
Here’s to holding it together.
It will pass, let’s just pray it’s quickly and not many more are lost to it. Love to everyone overwhelmed at the moment. ❤️

I do agree with growstuff. I’m an ex teacher too and really feel for all in the profession. The only thing I would say is how long can we go on without a “back to work” initiative? We can’t just stay as we are, safe as it may be. Our economy, our mental health and the children’s education and welfare are all important and those needs must be addressed at some point. Those of us who are retired can make the choice but Im afraid others can’t. This is why it’s so urgent to introduce quickly ways of allowing a phased return to normality in the safest possible way. To those who constantly criticise the Government I would say could you do any better under these unfamiliar and unexpected circumstances?

Love the poem ginny. I think we all have days like this I know I do, I have tears now just reading the comments.

Years ago, just after my Dad died when I was in my 30s, I attended a WEA course on 'How to Cope with Bereavement'. At the first session, the leader said something that has stuck with me ever since, and has helped me a lot.
He said, 'Bereavement isn't just about death. It can be about loss of anything - future plans, relationships, friendships - and you grieve in the same way for these. You still go through the stages of grief - recognise this and it will help you to understand your feelings'.
This is about the loss of the futures that we'd planned, were looking forward to - and (in my case) were enjoying. They've vanished, and we don't know which bits - if any - will come back. Personally, I'm in the 'anger' stage at the moment - lots of shouting at the telly when inept politicians are announcing things that terrify me because they're so obviously going to cause a second huge surge in cases (& deaths). But I know that this is normal, is part of the grieving process, and will pass eventually.
Hang on in there everyone ❤️

Glad you like the poem. I have it printed out and keep it in my purse. Always makes me feel better when I have a wobble.

ps and the poor transport worker, I read that too. I've noticed a few incidents here when some stupid young teen with no school, nothing to do, causes trouble. Yesterday one of them passed very close to me on his bike on the pavement where I was walking. Made me wobble and I wish I'd had the presence of mind to stick my foot out under his front wheel.
(Maybe not - we would have both been over.)

Dear Twig14 sincere condolences to you and your family. Please take care of yourself x
Wheniwasyourage hugs right back at you!
x

I find that the thing which is hardest to accept is that everyone, all generations, are going to have to adjust to a completely different style of social and work life. If it's true that we'll have to learn to live with the virus.
As for protection of frontline workers - there was a documentary on tv 2 nights ago which I watched:
www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b09r8jvr/hulls-headscarf-heroes
These women joined together to get better conditions for deep sea fishermen. I couldn't stop thinking about the dreadful conditions these men worked under.
We were living in Hull at the tme and I was working as a remedial reading teacher in the area.

I heard a quote on the radio the other day - "It's easier to cope if you have hope". Short and to the point, but very true, never give up hope that we'll get through this.

I heard the transport worker’s cousin say that she had reported the spitting to her bosses, but nothing was done. They should have looked in cctv and tried to trace the culprit there and then. She also normally worked away from the public and had health issues, but was obviously expendable.

ginny
Thank you. That is lovely.

I find my emotions are very close to the surface at the moment. The smallest thing, happy or sad makes me cry(on the inside). My poor husband would be beside himself if he knew how unstable I feel. I think we are all a bit frightened and over-whelmed but that is perfectly normal given the circumstances.

The ones that most trouble me are those children with very poor early years experiences at home that need nursery to give them any hope.

I do worry about those little ones.

I too have had a few meltdowns over the past few weeks, you are not alone. Sending virtual hugs to you. xx. Its the stress, we are all under a certain amount of stress at the moment
because of the virus. More obvious for some people but it affects everyone. It's a bit of grief for the loss of our lives as they were, uncertainty as to what the future will look like and fear for our families, friends and ourselves. Don't feel bad - you're human. xxxx,

Cupcake I hope you’re feeling a bit better today

Ginny Thank you for the beautiful poem

And to everyone else who feels overwhelmed and unsure and wobbly

This thread has made me cry this morning. It’s so difficult for everyone and everyone has their own individual worries and fears. We all worry about our families, when will we see them, are they okay, how are they coping? A lot of our families are not coping too well, as their usual childcare has been removed, that of course, was all of us grandparents.

I never feel great in the morning. I’ve taken anti depressants for a long time, since I had a life threatening illness and hit the menopause, and normally they keep me well. But now I find the mornings quite difficult again, a typical symptom of depression. I’m alright after a couple of hours. But this thread made me cry. We seem to be looking out of our houses and it’s an abyss. It seems never ending with little to look forward to.