Tonight I lost it and just wept ....

You wouldn't be human is you didn't feel anxious at times. It just creeps up on you sometimes. I keep saying that the thing is, you don't quite know how it will be for you if you contract the virus. Will you sail through, or will you be hospitalised? I work in admin in my local hospital for three days a week and I am slap bang in the middle of a busy ward. Numerous screening tests on my desk, ready to be posted off to the testing centre. We all wear masks and constantly wash our hands. Take off our uniforms when we go home, shower, etc. But it still frightens me because you don't quite know if you will suffer from it. Our ward cleaner has gone off with the virus. For her it started with conjunctivitis. I stood and had a conversation with her about it before she went. off. Gulp. It's just such a difficult time for everyone.

LadyBella - I am sorry you are feeling so sad today.

I do understand how hard it is when contact with those you love is so limited. But I really do think that we can only tot up the good things - consciously, and maybe even a written list. Today it is sunny and I went to the local common and my DD and GC were there - all distancing from me, so no danger. I know it is second best to what we would really like, but joy nevertheless. And over the weekend I will go to their home, head straight for their wildflower meadow, going nowhere near the house - I will take my own picnic and we will share a meal at a distance. Not ideal but I will make up my mind to love every minute.

I think it is about revising expectations so that we do not feel disappointed, but simply enjoy what is possible. Love what is possible and for the time being forget what isn't.

Take care.

cupcake1 - I feel exactly like you do. I have cried today. My 13-year-old GS came over to my house today and sat on the grass social distancing. We chatted for a while but I couldn't give him a hug or get him anything to eat before he left. I used to look after him after school 4 evenings a week and he often stayed overnight at my house.. I miss him so much and just can't see when any of this is ever going to change. I know I am depressed - my eyes keep welling up. I feel that, at 70, there's nothing left which I know is ridiculous but everything seems pointless when you can't be with your family.

DGD had an online class meeting today with their form teacher.

The difference is, and this is a concrete example, the biggest secondary school in our area had just 11 pupils most days. The logistics of coping with these was very simple.

May I also point out that the majority of pupils I know have been .’doing school work’ supported by teachers, setting work online and marking still, especially at secondary level.

Three in my family have been going to school for 3 or 4 days a week all the way through (not my own DGC) because their parents either work in hospitals or in other schools.
They have grumbled a bit but their parents are doing vital jobs.

I watched a programme filmed in the intensive care unit of the Royal Gwent Hospital, it was on BBC Wales yesterday. It wasn't filmed by reporters but by the staff themselves and patients were not shown unless they had agreed. It was quite harrowing.
One nurse was taking her two tiny boys to nursery so that she could go in to work in the ICU; all the staff were so dedicated and courageous and doing their very best for all the patients.

Thank you for remembering that Callistemon.

I think there will be many children who will not be returning to school BoBo
Even if they do open, as I understand Teachers' Unions are discussing this.

That being said, children of key workers such as medical staff have been going to school all the way through this.

Does she have to go to school, BoBo? The government say they won't prosecute people who don't send their children to school. I can understand your concern.

I suddenly feel really scared for my little granddaughter who is 5 and Year 1. She is loving being at home with Daddy who is working from home and Mummy, a nurse who is not allowed to work as she's pregnant. Just settling back into school will be hard enough but not able to mix properly with her friends and teachers will really upset her. Add to this the danger of her bringing the infection home to her Mum it's so horrible.

Last week I visited our local nature reserve and cried behind my sunglasses! Like most of you, I enjoyed my life... trips to the coast, days out, going to the pub, visits to NT properties, seeing my lovely children and grandchild. Simple pleasures generally. Now I have good days and wobbly days.
Lovely poem, ginny.

Yes tidy we know that but we can’t do anything about it. We feel for them too so now I’m even more depressed. Thanks.

Quite agree harrigran different issue.

Not helpful to try and guilt trip people about refugees, this is not the subject under discussion.

I’m sorry but some of you really need to give yourselves a good talking to. There are MILLIONS of people in the world far worse off than any of us. If you had no food, no income, no clean water, living in a camp while bombs rained down etc etc you might be entitled to the odd bout of “woe is me” but strangely, people in these circumstances just stiffen their backboneS and get on with it.

We all feel like this from time to time. Its natural as we are not living in a normal world. My mum who is 87 and lives alone had a very bad weepy day on monday and she went to bed at 6pm because she couldn't wait to end the day. As a family we make sure she has everything she needs, shopping deliveries etc but what she really needs is to see someone, make them a cup of tea, spend time chatting etc, and of course a big hug. Its so frustrating not to be able to go and visit her. I worry about her a lot.

My way of coping don't read the news it is full of fear and panic. Nobody knows what is true or not anymore so I just don't listen. I listen to Ken on Radio 2 but as soon as Jeremy comes off I switch off or go to capital gold. Fear is worse than the real so I switch off!

i so agree, before the virus we looked after our 13 year old grandaughter after school and during holidays, obviously we are not doing that, just today our daughter called, left something in the porch for us, my grandaughter was with her and although, of course, it was lovely to see her, it was a case of so near yet so far and ended up with both my daughter and myself crying, its a very emotional time and even though i know its not permanent and we could be so much worse off i try to think positively , at least we dont get unwelcome visitors

Love the poem Ginny!

Oh thank God I'm not the only one. I thought I was coping fine - have developed a phobia of supermarket (have to shop ourselves as only 'over 70' - no illnesses - no chance of getting slots). Stress over that has made me a wreck, then OH needs me to take him to A&E. Beyond nightmareish, then battery dead in hospital car park when he emerged. Thank God for attendant with super jump starter. Half a day with no events then washing machine packs up ! I think we need a communal wail!

Beautiful & much needed Ginny Thankyou.

I don’t believe the death toll is correct, if a death occurs at this time it is put down to Covid 19 when it was probably due to something else.

I had a meltdown when he said about school kids being able to go back i have grandkids in nursery and year 1 and my daughter's partner has kids in reception and year 1 ,my partners daughter is taking GCSEs next year and can also go back luckily my son is home tutored but that is potentially 5 members of my family at risk and it got too much for me, I cried then got angry and swore and shouted about it do I feel better for it not really but I'm coping a little better todayv

Yes, l had a phone consultation with my doctor earlier as my medication review was overdue. It was fine until l mentioned a condition l have which is ongoing but repeatedly dismissed. I said l would like to take it further when everything gets back to some sort of normal. Again l was made to feel that my concerns were unimportant exacerbating my dislike of seeing a doctor, which l do as little as possible. I was feeling a little low anyway but this made me feel quite tearful and l snapped at my husband. I have continued working from home and my husband has been back and forth to Coventry as a front line worker. I have also been clearing out the upstairs of my house. I suppose it is normal that our emotions are heightened and that we do break occasionally.

A reassuring thread, it's reassuring to know we aren't alone in finding our emotions are just below the surface. I was cleaning the kitchen yesterday, and realised I had tears rolling down my face. I was surprised but it made me connect with how vulnerable I felt. Like most others, its about missing my loved one's and the fear I keep at bay, that this is it, I'm 71 and I'll never cuddle my grandchildren again. Then I give myself a talking to and count my blessings.
It's good to know we aren't alone.