visiting family during lockdown

I hope you stayed in home, this will end someday. Sooner if we were all to follow rules.

Samaromo there must be many who know how you feel - I'm sure I do, as I absolutely ache to hug my children and grandchildren, but not at any price, which is what it would mean. We are seeing slow improvements; today I saw my DD, and although we have had family 'Zoom' meetings, to actually meet her and see her lovely face made me so happy. We sat in her garden, socially distanced, and had a cup of tea. I felt uplifted, and in better spirits than I have in weeks.
I recently saw an item in a magazine that gave me food for thought, so I will share it here as it helped me and I hope it will help you.

*Our happiness or unhappiness depends far more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves.
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gifts, or skill. It will make or break a company, or a home.
The remarkable thing is, we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change the past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude.*

I am in Colorado where restrictions are not that tight. We kept our distance for weeks, save the occasional (twice) dropping something off at our son's and keeping our distance. Later while wearing a mask we did eventually hug again. We had our 9 year old grandson over for a playdate outside, keeping distance and a mask for a hug; now we do not bother with that anymore as kids are not as likely to give the virus to adults as the other way around.
We still stay home and only go out for essential shopping. Shopping for fun is a thing of the past. Some stores like DIY are open, but you have to stand in line with a distance between person to be let in. Not for me!! I will order and pick up rather than doing that! Thankfully grocery stores let you get in without waiting!
We do meet with our son and his family, more often, still outdoors and then without masks. It is so much better than connecting through facetime. Especially for the grandkids.
Remember that for most people, the virus is not deadly or serious.

I'm only chatting to my daughter online via messenger and zoom. In fact that's the way I'm communicating with most people. As an older, vulnerable person, I don't intend 'going out into the world' until the number of new cases has dropped considerably. While there are still over 3,000 new confirmed cases every day I don't think it's sensible to take the risk of catching it, carrying it and infecting other people. If Spain can get their new cases down to 100 per day then surely we can?

My adult daughter and I broke the rules yesterday and went to see my other DD who is coping with a baby and toddler, for the sake of both of our MH .... I need the loo every 20 minutes so had to go inside but had my own towel and would rather risk that then ANY public toilet! My DGD was so pleased to see us, came running up saying I have missed you, it was lovely - we shouldn't have done it, but none of us have been anywhere for 7 weeks and it got to the point where we seriously were all losing the will to live. I feel a lot better today I have to say .....

I think we have lost sight of the fact that the purpose of the lockdown was to prevent hospitals from becoming overloaded. Because over 70’s are more likely to be hospitalised and need long term care, they were asked to stay indoors to reduce the risk of catching it. Now it has been decreed that we over 70’s can add a bit more risk by meeting one other person outside of our household.
Eventually we will be offered more freedom if we want it.
Our choice will be to stay in until there is a vaccine, which could be years or for ever, or gradually take more risks.
One of my sisters has chosen the former choice, and it is unlikely that I will see her again in this world, same goes for one son who has a disabled wife.
Until a few years ago we ran the risk of getting ‘flu’ and or pneumonia every winter, until the vaccine came along. Now we have a vaccine ( although it is still hit and miss with the flu one).
For Covid the pressure on the hospitals has eased according to the government- at least until the second wave.
For myself, I would rather live - as in going out, enjoying the company of family and friends who feel the same, seeing the countryside and seaside etc for a few months than stay locked in for a year or more. I am no more making work for the medical profession that the younger person who is overweight, smokes or drinks to oblivion, or who takes drugs.

I thought the rule was that you could drive short distances in England. I don't count 60 miles as a short distance to be honest. In Wales we're still under the stay home order. I can walk 3 miles along a disused railway line to see 2 of my grandchildren, standing on their doorstep while we're on the pavement. My other 4 grandchildren live 7 miles away so seeing them is impossible apart from on Face time. I'm really lucky in that both families stick strictly to the rules.

Youre right. It depends on the age(s). Mine are 3 and 18 months and they just don't understand they can't come for a cuddle. I can see for older ones who can rationalise its different..

My impression is that some people are relaxing the lockdown quicker than others and maybe that is nature's way of coming out of lockdown. Who knows!
However, I have notice larger groups socialising and I do feel a bit jealous as we are both still abiding by the rules, but only just!!

Can someone explain this to me? Mr & Mrs X want to see their daughter. Mrs X arranges to meet her regularly quite legally because she is now allowed to add one person from another household to her circle. So now the circle for Mr X is still just his wife he can choose one more person but has not done so. . The circle for Mrs X is her husband and daughter. If Mrs X catches anything from her daughter she can pass it on to her husband. The circle for daughter is several people because she id 45 and not in Lockdown. Now that parks are open Mr and Mrs X can go out together and walk around and sit in their local park as long as they keep a distance between themselves and strangers. What additional risk is there in Mr X and Mrs X both meeting their daughter separately or together?

Yes : absolutely - it’s so hard with 3 of my beautiful grandchildren under 2 and changing every week. I get where you are coming from and it’s ok to feel some kind of grief about it. I just hope that before long we can hug them and be together in some kind of normality .

Yes! I found it incredibly difficult. My elderly mum was very upset. She said she'd blocked it out of her mind and was happy carrying on as normal. It really knocked her back. I think they felt they were doing the right thing but it wasn't like that in reality.

I'm in Canada

My family and I see eachother regularly for hours on end in the back garden. We talk from a distance and thoroughly enjoy it. You sound too clingy and desperate. The type of mom or grandparent people try to avoid because they're demanding and would likely guilt trip you over trying to follow the rules to suit her needs. Enjoy your time on this earth with your family in person because you still can.

Sawsage it is the " do what I want" brigade who are going to make this situation worse for everyone else. Why are you special? What gives you the right to do what you want? Maybe we should all follow your theory. It would be a great way of reducing the "surplus population". By the way, wearing gloves is a pointless exercise and a waste of money unless you change them every time you touch absolutely anything. I wasn't angry til I read your post. Now I am!

There's a lot of tight lipped, jealousy, bullying and finger wagging going on here. I do what I want (age 67, fit) but always wear mask and gloves.

Its Monday and you may have already been hope you didn't go.

Don't go. If you need a toilet where are you going to go, its ok for men! God forbid, but if you have a car accident then its hospital involved, more risks and more people involved in your little visit that are already strained.
You can say everything you want to on skype etc.
Don't be persuaded.

I am luckier than many on here. I see my grandchildren a few times a week. They live literally round the corner from us. Less than three minutes walk. One is 4 years old and one is 22 months. When they go for their walk they pass our house and stop for a chat. The elder one knows she cannot come further than our gate post, we stand by the front door. The little one is in his pushchair and looks confused. You can see him thinking "why can't I go to granny and granddad". It is lovely to see them and listen to Emily tell us what she has been up to. But, oh, how I long for their kisses and cuddles. To hold them and kiss them. To curl up in bed and have stories. To be honest, you may find being so close and yet so far, much harder than you expect it to be. I certainly wouldn't let them into the garden or let them run around near us. It would be too difficult to maintain a distance.

Use common sense about the toilet. You can easily wipe down handles and surfaces with the sanitizer.

Pippa22. Thank-you for your comment which I noted. I am in agreement with you and have said to her do not have the children to her flat. I am staying out of the plans although about a visit from police I do not think that will happen as so many people are changing rules to suit themselves the police have no idea what goes on half the time. If my daughter carries out the plans she is making then so be it, I will not phone the police so no information like that will come from me but if anyone else phones them then that will be for both daughters to suffer the consequences. One for the daughter allowing the children to go and secondly for the daughter willing to break the rules. I have broken no rules at all throughout the lockdown and do not want to start now and yes it is selfish for my daughter wanting me to do the driving from each house knowing that it is wrong.

Does a farm count as an open space then, even if a large garden doesn't? Obviously some GNs think it does as I've read at least one person who will be sitting in a field

Yes, you have, GrammaH, and no doubt one of them was me, seeing as I mentioned a field earlier on this thread.

The field concerned is in fact publicly owned, as many still are. Big enough for anyone to sit in the middle well away from the dog walkers and joggers that frequent the paths that criss-cross it.

I do hope this puts your mind at rest.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I'm for the commonsense approach. If builders can now work on the outside of my house then my AC can stand at the end of my garden path, a good few metres away, and have a 5-min chat when leaving groceries. It's not possible for the govt to give guidance that covers every single one of us, working, schooling or shielding, so why expect every separate rule to be spelt out for us? A colleague once fell off the edge of a raised island in the middle of the road, hurting her leg, and was asked 'Are you going to sue the Council?' 'No, she said, 'I'm going to tell myself off for being b***y stupid, crossing the road there and not paying attention.' We could all do with using a good dose of commonsense atm like her, instead of blaming everyone else.
As others have said samaromo I'd be more worried about using the facilities en route to your DDs unless you can find a way around that. More importantly your OH doesn't appear to have asked them and they may not feel comfortable with you visiting yet. If everything can be sorted, and your OH is clearer about what you're going to do when you get there then, yes, go see them and use a bit of commonsense when you visit. Maybe you could do a trial run with the nearest DD. So much better face-to-face even without hugs.

I rest my case!