Feeling really low

Alexa I wasnt knocking your advice about health etc and in normal times I d endorse it but now there are hundreds of us feeling the same way, it’s the situation not our health at this point

To coin the current phrase ;Me too;....yes I hate it ...I bought a retirement flat when I came back from France ...so that I could leave it and travel knowing it was being looked at and not having to bother someone to look after a house ...HATE IT ..feels like a care home (even though it is for independent living over 55;s ... it is not what I hoped it would be !) SO I bought a caravan to escape to ...in March ...I haven't even been allowed inside it yet, let alone the holiday Park it is on ! I have had three holidays cancelled and its not looking like I will be going anywhere anytime soon ! SO difficult isn't it ...I just keep my fingers crossed I will be allowed to travel as soon as this is over...but at 73 by then, travel insurance is going to be hard to find (have an annual policy now, but not sure what the wording will be on renewal !)…….mind you, one ray of light yesterday M & S foodhall was open AND they had an arrangement of clothing which has been put on the ground floor next to it !! blissssssssss….found two lovely dresses but one was too short and one not in my size ….oh well, it was lovely to feel almost human again !!!!! stay safe ...luckily I live on the coast so I can get to walk along the beach and get a coffee from the little van and hopefully the mounted police won't stop me....not sure exactly how many people will be here at the weekend though ...my friends are coming tomorrow for a socially distanced coffee on the sea front (no one is allowed into the flats !!)

So sorry you're feeling down Lizbethann55 but I agree with Alexa that it could also be health-related. If you're walking in the day and watching hedgehogs all night it seems you're not sleeping well. That could be a cause of your upset or a symptom but if you can get more sleep that might help. Having said that, it's not at all surprising you are upset sometimes, just got to accept it and go with it sometimes and, as others have said, treat yourself kindly.

Nanna58 I forced myself to shower an hour ago. Helps.

Sending big hugs to everyone feeling low.

Lizbethann, I sympathise with your feelings and hope they'll soon pass. I had both my legs badly smashed when a car drove over them while I was training for a half marathon 19 years ago. I survived. Now have other health problems as well, but keep going.
Please see this as an opportunity to embrace new things and ideas. Please ask DS to explain his political views and LISTEN, try to see his point of view.
For instance, do you think it's ok that Jeff Besoz is approaching Trillion dollar status, while his workers in the USA are not entitled to health care or days off when they are ill. Also he will remove the 2 Dollar extra pay he allowed them in June.
Luckily in Europe workers have more rights.
But does it not leave you angry, that our government is now negotiating with the USA in secret, who knows what our laws and conditions will be like after that and leaving the EU.
And with Trumps environmental policies our young people may not have 20 or 30 years left on this planet.
Please, open your heart and your mind. Take care.

You'll have to forgive me but I don't understand the initials: DH; DD; and others - so perhaps someone will explain them to me.
I'm 70 this year and have been identified as vulnerable, so I'm on a 12-week lockdown, where I'm not allowed to leave my house under any circumstances. And it does look likely, that for those of us in this category, the 12 weeks will be extended to indefinitely.
I have a partner but we don't live together and we saw each other every day so this lockdown has affected us deeply because other than once a week when he brings my shopping over, we don't see each other.
I am a writer, so I spend a lot of time writing. Writing down your thoughts and fears (much like you're doing on here) can be very therapeutic because once you see the words written down, you can begin to make sense of them.
A lot of people feel that their lives are no longer their own and this is probably the reason why so many people feel so depressed. We have 'government' telling us what to do (for our own good - whether we agree with it or not) and so - as adults - we don't like other people to be in charge of how we live our lives. If we can tell ourselves that this will pass - maybe in a few more weeks, possibly a couple of months - then that is the first step to regaining control.
Another thing to try is to look beyond what is happening now and start planning something to look forward to NEXT year; like a fantastic holiday or a make over in the house or garden if holidays are off-limits; none of us are spending much, if any money, which means that all of us should be in a better position when life does return to normal.
It's easy to feel sorry for oneself during these times, but try - if possible - to look on the bright side of life (I didn't mean to type that, but as I did, The Life of Brian popped into my head and then the song!!)

Anne107, I would willingly share my garden with you. It was designed to be low maintenance but two flash floods in three years cleared out all the perennials I had planted. The trees and shrubs are flourishing and I am working on getting more small shrubs with all-year interest. Meanwhile, who needs a parasol when there's a large red maple giving some shade at any time of day?

Also, I am sure I would be happier if only I had a garden! Or even à balcony! I live in a ground floor one bedroom apartment and just have my buddy Shadow (my cat) for company.

Couldn’t even be ar**d to get out of bed yesterday, never been that low before. Life seems to have just....stopped.

Lizbethann, my middle son went through a communist stage when he was seventeen. We called him our Resident Red. However, when he found out that not only the USA but Singapore, where we have family, take an extremely dim view of communism, he took the pragmatic view of family coming before ideals and the red started to fade in colour. He is in his twenties now and l have no idea what his political views are now but Karl Marx no longer seems to be part of it.

Why do people focus on all the things that they can't do right now? No wonder they feel miserable.

Why not concentrate on everything that's still available instead, make the most of it - and plan for a few year's time. We are relatively safe, we have food and shelter, so it's really not that bad.

Please do not apologise as you are certainly not alone. I said to DH the other night that we are missing the best time of the year. Two holidays have been cancelled and it will be the bloody dark nights before we are let out of this cage called home. He just laughed and said that it was better than being dead! Also he said that things might not change for a long time as a antidote has still not be found. The thought of it made me cry and I felt down all night. DH said to pick out the positives and try and run with them. At least the weather isn’t cold and wet - not yet! We are free to walk about - but its scary. I’m usually a half full person but lately I have been taken over by aliens. We just have to try and stay safe and strong. Sending you all love and hugs as we are in this together - how long - I dont know.

We are all allowed to have rubbish moods from time to time.
It will pass, maybe not immediately, but it will pass.
And whilst you are waiting for that passing, why not purchase a punchbag, get the hubby to mount it onto the garage ceiling, then really get stuck in and beat the hell out of it!!
Much needed exercise and a black mood reliever.....

so helpful to know I'm not alone in feeling low - thanks for speaking out

Oh dear, well although there are some optimistic cheerful posts here there are also a lot which would make anyone feel even worse. I am sorry for all grans feeling low, depressed, and fearful. I do hope this is only temporary feeling. All I can say is, we as a country are not alone. All other countries have covid 19, and no doubt their populations feel exactly the same as we do. I look at RT and Aljazeera on TV to get a different slant on things. Just be glad you live in the UK where you still get free healthcare, supermarkets are still open, lots of people are all too willing to help others, and be glad you don't live in the USA and have to put up with a rather mad president, and have to try to pay for your health care....
To make myself feel better I am learning the guitar on line (having been given a guitar about 20 years ago by my lovely husband RIP) and also Spanish. I intend to travel to a Spanish speaking country after all this is over and I will be able to understand everything they say and maybe even try out the language. My grandson's wife who is 25, Whatsapps me from their home in Berlin to tell me how keen she is on embroidery and sends me photos of her beautiful work. As an embroiderer myself I can appreciate her work, and she mine. Now that is a relaxing and enjoyable creative hobby you can enjoy at any time and in any setting, and to see a little picture coming to life under your needle is so uplifting! Be positive, one day things will be back to normal.

Dear Lizbethann55 life will get better it will just take time. I took early retirement last year and laughter my head off as my husband asked me if I regretted doing it, hes still working. What retirement was my answer. The first 3 months was helping family out with baby sitting duties as each 4 grandsons had chickenpox and all parents work, thank goodness they had it one after the other and not all at once. Then the 6 year old had a stroke due to chickenpox virus, hes recovered, but we still have to watch him and his brother had 3 visits to hospital with asthma. Then workmen in as we gutted the house, it was all due for update, this lasted until the week before christmas and was the longest time of my life. At the same time hubby became I'll and due to winter pressures in hospital kept having his surgery put back, but he was off for nearly 6 months. Just as I thought retirement can start isolation began. All my wonderful plans for the start of retirement were absolutely scuppered. Have a look st the University of the Third Age, things to get you out of the house. Local library and fitness hub have lots of things to do too. Well once this isolation is over I'm praying my retirement can begin. Good luck. Xxx

alexa, I so agree with you. You can find yourself chewing over in your mind all sorts of things you wish you'd done differently! we must keep our minds focused on the here and now! MIndfulness is the way to go! In the moment!

BUT these young people who are living for 20 40 years will have a massive debt that is incurring now with all the hand outs and the country will not be the affluent place we have been privileged to live in. They will have to work longer before retiring on a smaller pension. I doubt if they will feel jolly enough to laugh at locking Granny up. Granny "never had it so good"!!

Alexa I think that when the present stands still the past looms larger !

Knowing others are worse off and being told you are lucky doesn't help and adds guilt which only makes you feel worse. It doesn't lessen our own feelings.
This is true for any time and not just during the present crisis.
You are not alone Lisbethann. I too feel like this. My husband is very solitary and not any company really. I might as well be alone.
He's out painting the fence and I am struggling to get out of bed. Keeping me company would be a good idea and might cheer me up. But he rarely does that.
I hope you feel better soon

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

I think that's why we love Captain Tom so much, because he is so optimistic. I keep repeating his words that the sun will shine on us again and the clouds will go away - this from someone who has survived WW2 and cancer as wells the loss of his wife. Truly inspirational!

The first few weeks I was very depressed. It was explained to me then that I was actually in mourning.....mourning for the life I should be leading.

My first year in this flat at the seaside, and so many visits from friends and family had been planned with much excitement. Obviously, all cancelled now.

It is not so much the loneliness, as the feeling of just marking time - and as I will very shortly be 79 years old, really do not want to waste whatever time I do have left.

Finally, I had to accept that this was my new way of life - like it or not. I watch very little of the news, just maybe once a day for about 10=15 minutes. Apart from that any television I watch, is pure escapism. That is obviously different for each of us. For me I love sci-fi - and with my humax have lots recorded. Also, find good very funny films or programmes can help. On Sunday spent the afternoon watching Paint your Wagon - nobody can feel depressed if watching that!!!

In my darker moments it is the dread for the future which really worries me. Do not think anyone who has lived through this year will forget it - due to the effect it is going to have on their lives. I actually worry that more lives will eventually be lost due to the hardships that are going to caused by loss of jobs, homes, break up of families, mental and physical health problems, than are down to this virus.

Must say I am much more scared of the after-effects than of the virus itself.

But, as has been said, the sun is shining - at least this is occurring in summer months - although do wonder what the winter is going to be like.

I use zoom etc for meet-ups from some of my U3A groups. Did not like it when we had a family one, somehow (for me) it emphasised how different everything was - so prefer just to talk to them all by phone once a week.

Jigsaws, knitting, Tv, Radio keep me occupied each day. Still go out to do a weekly supermarket shop (gives both me and the car a run out and change of scenery), also get out most days for s short trundle round on my mobility scooter.

Looking forward to when those visits to me can take place - hopefully, in 2021.

I have good days and bad days. Recently retired and planned on being abroad for a few months. Now both wondering if we might as well still be at work but hopefully we will be able to travel in July. Don’t think this can stay the same for much longer.

Buffybee you say we are all in the same boat but we aren’t, in the same storm but everyone’s situation is different.

Hard I know but let’s try and stay positive - there’s a rainbow ? after the storm.

Theoddbird I understand. Although I have neighbours, I do not know how long it would be before they noticed I wasn't in the garden. Perhaps my milkman might wonder why the milk is not collected, but he has proved himself to be incredibly dim.....

The week before last I had a terrible shock in the form of a message sent me. The result has been a series of messages and emails all very distressing.
I feel such empathy for you Lizbethann55 and everybody struggling with depression. There is no logic to depression. I would try not to find reasons for feeling depressed although the unnatural way we are having to live at the moment is clearly a factor. I have not spoken to anybody for over a week now. Last night I knocked a tumbler full of milk to the floor and had this terrible reaction. I felt that I suddenly could understand the man whom I found who had killed himself some years ago. I had a terrible few minutes when I just did not want to even try to carry on. I felt that I could easily do what he had done. But I have my little rescued dogs and they need me and thank God I came back to my senses. Today I know I need to battle on yet again.

Please Lizbethann55 try to take each moment as it comes and try if you can not to look too far ahead and not to try to find reasons for your painful drop in mood. If you can, go outdoors and see if you can hear the birds singing. I find this so comforting. Also forget any diet and treat yourself to whatever you can, chocolate if you have it... I did not gather if your DH understands your depression, some people simply can't and say things like "But you have so much..." Unfortunately having comparably better circumstances than others can only add to depression sometimes, by making you feel guilty about your low mood. Depression is completely random. It hits people from all backgrounds and circumstances. Sometimes it has an obvious trigger or underlying cause, often not. So don't try and agonise about what caused it. Rather concentrate on the things that are good in life, flowers, sunshine, music, birdsong... You may find that you can't even enjoy these, but do keep exposing yourself to what is good and lovely none the less. Exercise has been proved to lessen depression too, so do go for a walk or take exercise as best suits you.

I do have hobbies but for reasons beyond my control am unable to do them. I would encourage you to do something creative if you can. Painting, sewing, knitting, gardening etc. all take your mind off yourself and direct your attention outwards to something constructive and worthwhile. Try this as much as you can.

Wishing you all the best. I really do know what it's like, as do thousands of others. You will feel better, you really will. ??? Love from Elle x ((hug))