Feeling really low

Lizbethann we all seem to have a wobbly here and there; unsurprising given that most of us don't like uncertainty coupled with fear, and we've all had enough I'm sure. Today I read that there will likely be no more virus deaths in a month or so. Currently my life doesn't hold any complications like impending moves or job worries, so I am a lucky individual but even so I fret about what life will be and think back to the simplest of adventurews, taken so much for granted, when I would walk into town on market day and meet my friend for a coffee. I suspect the small coffee shop will be a casualty. I wish I could say something clever and cheeering, but all I can say is you are not alone in how you feel, and we will survive.

Lizbethann55, I read an article back in March which I still have on my desktop and read if I'm feeling down. It was on th fb page of The Barn and was posted on March 25th. It very simply explains the physical reasons for us feeling so bad. I don't know how to post links but if you can't find it and think it might be useful please pm me and I'll try and get my technical expert (my son) to help me post the link.

So it’s not just me then! Utterly fed up, furloughed from my beloved charity job and likely to be made redundant, plus lost another job totally. DH still working very hard to make up financial shortfall-all I do is cook, clean, walk dogs etc. Feel as if rug has been pulled out from under me as cannot be a daughter (Mum with Alzheimer’s in care home, no visiting) or a grandma to beloved grandson 15 miles away. On antidepressants anyway but struggling to be honest. Only thing that helps a tiny bit is it’s sunny and the summer’s on it’s way-if this goes on till the autumn, I really will be desperate.

Sending virtual hugs ( & I’m not a demonstrative person) I’ve been there, many, many times and one thing I’ve learnt is that to berate yourself because you have a nice house, etc etc etc only serves to give power to the depressive thoughts, which in turn makes it harder to climb back out from the hole (metaphorically)
Healthier to accept those feelings, wallow for a while even, do something nice for yourself ( soak in bubble bath, buy a new book for your Kindle, plan a gardening project and that can be as simple as a Supermarket pot plant to nurture) take some regular exercise ( maybe just a walk in your garden slowly smelling the roses) for your mind or body.
Retirement can mean the end of lots of things but also new beginnings.
Please don’t think I’m being glib, I’m not, I’ve been severely depressed several times and it’s only in the past couple of years that I’ve learnt to just roll with it, initially easier said than done but like most things it gets easier with practice.
To you and all the gransnet community Be Kind ( to yourselves first)

I live alone in an isolated area so no neighbours to see or clap with on Thursdays. Am used to being alone but would love to he a le to just get in the car and drive somewhere. Am lucky to see GD now Uni is in lockdown, as she does my shopping. Beginning to fear going out and about in case I pick up the virus (I am in the older age bracket) as have 2 dogs and cats at home who need me.
Still feel lucky that I have plenty of space, fresh air and nature around me.

I'm so sorry for anyone who feels this way. So far, I haven't, apart from feeling quite frightened in the first couple of weeks of the crisis. Mainly because I'm an organiser (some might say control freak) and this is something I can't organise or control. We are getting through it by having a timetable. Not suggesting that's what anyone else should do but it really works for us. Last night, Tuesday, for example is for watching a crime series on TV (currently Harrow series 2 on Drama). While we watch, I am doing my big crochet project. Tonight, Wednesday, we read to each other. He reads me poetry and I read him a chapter or two of a funny novel. etc. etc. I've no idea what I'd do if I were living alone but I imagine some sort of timetable would still suit me.

I understand what you are going through,my husband has been diagnosed with cancer and needs chemotherapy, we were going away with the family for a little break before lockdown that had to be cancelled and had lots of trips before the chemo, it looks like we will be very limited to what we can do once chemo starts ,like you I feel like is passing us by ,is this all there is?
I do try to keep positive ,but still have dark down days . Take care

Oh PetitFromage, I wish you and your DH well. It’s so hard for you watching him being ‘brave and determined’ and fighting the odds.
I wish you strength and courage.

Elizabethan and ThefrugalPiggy
I understand as I have some dark days where I can barely move from the phone and sofa and other days seem better. I too sold my house before lockdown and it fell though a week ago due to this virus and the guy lost his job. I do try to find little things to enjoy but some days are better than others as my future plans are all on hold.
I cling to the motto " this too will pass" and hope it won't be too long

Petitfromage I’m so sorry to read about your husband’s illness. You really are going through an exceptionally tough time and my heart goes out to you both.

Your husband’s wonderfully positive attitude will stand him in good stead to fight this cruel illness.

You have my utmost admiration for coping as you do ??

(And I’m ashamed of myself for grumbling. I’m going to give myself a good kick in the backside today)

*Lizbethann55 *I could have written that myself!
I felt just the same and in a similar situation.

Lizbethann55

Thank you for sharing. I had a big birthday (70) the other week and it has hit me with such force. Up until now, I have enjoyed every minute of retirement but hitting 70 as floored me and I am now thinking 'Is this it? I am putting it down to the Lockdown and having my wings clipped and not being out and socialising in my hobby groups. Tearful I am.

This time will pass and it will for you too. I have found retirement the best time of my Whole life. No worries about job security. Mortgage free. Good health and just waking up without the shrill of an alarm clock.

I think it’s because we are all existing rather than living. x

Lizbethann I do sympathise, I seem to be tearful every morning when I wake up. Memories and sadnesses keep flooding back to me. I do start to feel sorry for myself I know. Cant imagine when I will be able to see grandchildren and family in USA, went this time last year and children are growing up so fast. Son in England is struggling with lockdown as wife has dementia and doesn't understand. I cant stop thinking of the suffering of late husband and of my mother...I thought I had moved on from this. Lots of time for reflection isn't all good !!!

It's ok to feel "not ok"! I also have these wobbles, as I call them but I console myself by giving thanks that I woke up this morning, thousands didn't!

So, a proverbial kick in the pants and I get on with it!

Yes, I have aches and pains; yes I often feel down; but I accept there's ALWAYS someone worse off.

Hello Lizbethann55 I’m usually the optimist in our family but felt exactly like you on Sunday. I think it was brought on by my sister and her family popping round and standing on our driveway for a chat and I couldn’t invite them in! For some reason I felt dreadful about it!!! Even though I know it’s the rules!

BlueBelle you may be right it's nothing to do with health. however it is not too difficult to get health reasons out of the way and clear the decks for dealing with reactive sorrow and depression.

I went out yesterday to collect weekly shopping. No car and the bus service at the moment......only 1 bus every 2 hours in each direction. Not an easy trip out.
I will admit I was pretty down when I left home but lots of us feel that way right now but what finally (first time since lockdown) made me upset and I shed a few tears was the attitude from a member of staff at Tesco. It wasnt what she said but the way she said it. Maybe I was being over sensitive but her choice of issuing her orders was out of order.
Oh well today is another day......

Well glad someone else is feeling like this. I am normally so positive and upbeat and feel ashamed of myself when I feel flat and down and life is passing me by when people are in hospital with this awful virus. Beginning to feel time isn't on my side to be honest.

Heard of so many people feeling like this, a friend told me she 'phoned her neighbour who was sobbing as she kept losing things and saying she was going potty being inside for 8 weeks, another friend said he thought he was losing the plot not going out.

So common reaction from people and thankfully we have this site to share our feelings and know we are not alone.

The sun is shining, I have a garden, family to chat to, food in the cupboard, fresh clean water and the birds are singing and going to go for a cycle ride. That is my pet talk for the day. My very good wishes to everyone here.

I agree with all of the above. Separating from my husband of 32 years last summer and now living (peacefully) by myself but within walking distance of 3 out of 4 children. Such a blessing those driveway chats. Back to work full time on the 1st is daunting given I have underlying asthma but has to be done. I’m just VERY grateful that I’ve been able to work from home for 9 weeks and that I don’t live in a country where they are queuing for water from a communal tap - one side of the road for everyone without virus symptoms And the other side for those with the virus!

I feel the same, the last few days it has really got to me. DH and I both retired a couple of years ago and were really enjoying ourselves, having moved to a new city. We had also planned several lovely holidays for this year.

Then, just before lockdown, he was diagnosed with an incurable and advanced cancer. At least we were fortunate in that he had brilliant and fast service from the NHS, who carried out a battery of tests in a very short period of time. He went from consulting his GP to starting chemotherapy in just over six weeks. The NHS target for carrying out the endoscopy alone is normally six weeks (which they often don't meet) and, of course, if he had presented a few weeks later he would not have been diagnosed at all.

The thing is that DH is being so brave and determined - he walks about seven miles a day, sometimes more, a combination of a very early walk outdoors and circuits of the garden. He is walking round now and it breaks my heart to see him. He then goes on his rowing machine for about 25 minutes. He is keeping himself as fit as possible and having a determined mental attitude, as those are the only things he can do - apart from taking the treatment and eating as well as possible.The chemo is not shrinking the tumours but they are not getting any bigger.

This was not how I imagined spending our time together, especially if it is limited. The whole scenario is like some awful nightmare. I even do social distancing and wear my mask in my dreams .

But - we are together and DD is with us, along with our dogs and her cat - we have a garden and the roses are coming out. We have books and music and plenty to eat and drink. I usually wake up weepy and feel better as the day wears on.

Hello
I am a bit of a novice writing on here, bare with. Bare with a favourite catchphrase of Miranda Hart who always makes me laugh.
I am fortunate I am on the other side of feeling low. Everything is only temporary things will change. I find nature a great solution to feeling down, I enjoy gardening as a hobby.
I do believe good nutrition is essential for good mood. My Dr prescribed me Vitamin D and I believe this contributes to my happiness. I am lucky in other areas of my life too, I remarried 5 years ago after a 30yr marriage to someone who destroyed my soul, so I have climbed back up. Occasionally I feel sad and it’s okay to cry but I say the future is bright. Take care everyone. Have a great day. X

I was chirper until last week even telling people to keep their chin up when similar thoughts to yours knocked me for 6. It’s horrible isn’t it, the sense of futility.I was like it for several days, even off my food. Then I called a couple of friends and after some long chats started to feel a bit better having had something else to think about, so do speak to any friends out there as well as us. I’m trying not to even start thinking bad thoughts again as they escalate so quickly. I see it is Mental Awareness Week and you there are lots of helpful tips for coping.

I am off out for a walk round the lanes. It’s the best antidote to combating my feelings of depression. I have children who are young and Doctors on the frontline and they Appear quite cheerful and positive despite what they are experiencing.
So chin up and do something positive such as cleaning out a cupboard. Etc.
Try not to spend your last few years wallowing as it’s a waste of being alive,

Alexa it’s nothing to do with health It’s not practical stuff it’s ‘the situation‘
I totally relate lizbethann I seem to have an up day and a down day I m not depressed I m not in black moods I m relating entirely to the situation and my lack of useful ‘outside the home’ things I would normally be doing and the thought that ‘this is as exciting as it’s going to get for the rest of my life’ horrifies me
I too am lucky but the longer it goes on the lazier I feel and the less I want to do, my motivation is slowly eroding don’t get me wrong I m aware and make myself Do stuff but doing things should be something to jump at not have to make yourself do
morethan2 I relate to your good news stuff too how awful that i m totally irritated beyond belief by the feel good folk oh I m loving the baking the kids at home blah blah blah I would normally be applauding them
I am very worried for my late teens Grandkids
I m not expecting a vaccine not in the foreseeable future anyway, but I am expecting a huge recession and the thought of the young generation having to fight poverty as well as loss of jobs university life and free and easy travel for their generation fills me with a horrible foreboding I have seven grandkids two are ok with careers already established one has redundancy hanging over their head three are all in the sixth form/university bracket, one coming up to O levels What’s their future hold