Feeling really low

lizbeth I hated retirement And had a year feeling a bit like now useless, pointless etc etc, my daughter told me to do some voluntary work and I ve never looked back (till now) it’s got me happily through the last 6 years Just working in a charity shop I love everything about it and can do as many hours a week as I want I love the interaction with the customers I love being useful and lots of banter with some good staff I will be fine once I get back to it I can fully recommend it
It’s something to get up for

Thank you all again. I am feeling much better. Saw four hedgehogs last night. Because of lockdown I can stay up as late as I want watching them as I don't have to worry about the alarm clock. Those of you who linked my sadness with retirement are probably right. It's the feeling that whenever this is over and life gets back to normal, I will be left behind. Like I am standing on the shore watching the ship sail without me. But no one is forcing me to retire. I may decide not to. And if I do there is a thriving U3A in this city. Your kind words helped so much. I can be a real grumpy so and so. I shall remember everything you have said and strive to be better and more positive!

Oh dear, I'm so sorry that you, greengran, and all those others of you feeling the same way, feel like life's coming to an end, but please believe me it's not.

When my grandson died I WANTED my life to come to an end. I felt as though I had let my son and his son down in some way. I even tried to end it (not the first time), but I even failed at that so had to face living again.

I won't pretend it's easy, but time is used up. Shopping is no longer a mad dash around the store, it's leisurely, and involves chatting to people.

A long walk every day takes up time, as do hobbies. Going out for the day is now an option, as are the month long holidays camping around Europe, catching up with friends, time in the garden, classes in things we always thought about but didn't have time for.........

Life at the moment isn't the reality, it's a pandemic! I'm guessing that the last one, a century ago, is remembered by very few, but in years to come we will all be talking about it, our great, great grandchildren, will learn about 2020 as a part of their history lessons, history that we are a part of. So no, this isn't life as it will be, this is history in the making!

I think we all have times like that and also the prospect of retirement is playing on your mind. I became very ill some years ago and had to leave the job that I loved so I understand something of how you feel. I didn't want to leave, it was forced on me by circumstances, just like you are doing now. I went through a period that I felt was like mourning and couldn't see a future that I'd enjoy. However, we adjust to all things eventually. My life slowed down, and I learnt what the phrase 'stop and smell the roses' really meant, and I appreciate everything that I now have time for. Yes, sometimes it is boring, but everyone can be bored at any time in their lives. I was even bored sometimes when my children were small and home all day! I'm sure you will find an enjoyable life, just a different one, but it might take a while to adjust from being rushed because you had to go to work as well as have a home life. Think back to your childhood and maybe take up an interest you had then but never had time for until now. I hope you feel much more positive today.

Sorry, me again. Thinking it over, I reflected that it's the physical closeness to friends and family that's missing from my life. We are a tactile family. I need the bear hugs my GSs give me (endangering my ribs) and I need my DSs to put an arm round my shoulders.My GDs will put their heads on my shoulder and confide in me. I don't went to sit 6 feet away from friends whom I'd rather greet with a hug.
Maybe I should become a tree hugger - but that would hardly be reciprocal!

This lady has expressed how she feels now it doesn’t mean she’s a depressed soul or not appreciating of what she has it is just where her brain Is taking her at the moment
I also think it’s quite unhelpful saying ‘I m Staying happy and positive and managing wonderfully‘ if she could she would
I am a very positive person who often gets accused of being a Pollyanna as I always try to look for a positive answer but I feel down some days, other days I wake up more chipper there’s no explanations needed it is what it is
I go out every day, I m not frightened if that’s what you re implying causes anyone to feel down merylstreep I don’t see the point of that post

I think more than anything Lizabeth just wanted reassurance that she’s not alone in feeling low.... and you’re not as you see the vast number of replies have echoed how you are feeling to some extent Some more, some less. It is what it is Maybe the chipper ‘happy as Larry’ posters can start their own ‘I m fine‘ thread
There’s nothing pulls people down more than opening their heart and someone negating it by their own opposite feelings

Ive not been too bad but the last few days Ive really been down mainly due to not being able to sit outside in the warm sunshine. All down to inconsiderate residents who are milling about and socialising in the communal gardens ignoring the social distance rule!! They are acting as if everything is normal when it isnt. I did report this to the manager here and was told that the council 'cant' stop them as they arent breaking any council rules and are entitled to sit in the comunual gardens!
So I sit by an open window to get fresh air and a bit of sunshine.

GreenGran
No, your not alone, I'm a pollyana. It's not my fault that I'm not frightened, scared to go out.

Totally understand your sinking feelings but you will surface and even fly. Firstly, be nice to yourself: order a treat whether Margaret Dabbs hand cream or foot cream or champagne or adopt a puppy. See what your neighbours need. Join some Zoom groups: Russian, Music, Crime Fiction.
Start a basket for your local foodbank.
And get going on your memoir, knitting, growing samphire and jewellery making. You've years of creative life in you starting right now.
Good luck and stay well!

No I'm certainly not annoyed Greengran. Your post is so pisitive, cheerful and uplifting. I will read it in the morning again to help motivate me. Thank you.

I have felt like you at times I keep telling myself this will pass you will get through this I find watching the news less and old episodes of Not going out with Lee Mack and Tim Vine help to cheer me up

I started off feeling like that GreenGran. The Wobbles hit me out of the blue..

We’re shielding because of DH’s health. No we won’t be fined or locked up for going out, but, considering the consequences if DH had caught The Virus were likely to be very bad, we would have been silly to have done so when it was more prevalent.

I think being able to go out for that exercise walk each day makes such a difference. To be able to go to the shops and chat to others face to face - even at a distance. Now we’ve decided to go out in the car, walk a bit, chat to people at a distance, once a week is enough, we feel part of society again.

Sorry to hear you are feeling low. I am sure we all have been in this position during the lockdown and you are allowed to cry etc, Things will get better at some point but we have to learn to be patient. I admit this is not one of my strong points.
Reading between the lines, I think you are dreading retirement. Can I convince you that it can be great in normal circumstances%? Try to look at the positives such as not having to get up in cold Winters, having the choice to do what you want when you want. Think of what you would like to do with your time, learn something, join a group, volunteer for an organisation, take up swimming. The options are endless. Be down but then get back up. Good luck!!

Well! After reading everyones’ posts, I feel bad because I’m NOT feeling bad! I don’t know if I’m a bit of a freak, or if the Pollyannas like me are just keeping their heads down.

How many of you on lockdown are really forbidden to go out? How many have just persuaded yourselves that it’s SCARY out there, and you are going to hide away until all the nasty germs have gone away?
Maybe I’m just a cockeyed optimist, but life is still good. OK. Something bad might happen to me, or one of my family, at any time, but brooding about it won’t change anything. It will just depress the hell out of me. So I go for a walk every day, and listen to the birds singing. I chat, safely, to many of the people I meet. I watch the news only briefly, once a day, because listening to all that doom and gloom does no-one any good. I seek out tv programmes that make me laugh, or interesting documentaries and quizzes.
I also go on Facebook and scroll through ‘View from my window’. People from all over the world post a picture of what they can see from their windows, and it’s fascinating. Looking at the pictures, and posting comments can happily take up several hours.
I hope that those of you who have posted about feeling so down aren’t annoyed by my chirpy comments. Believe me, I have every sympathy for you all. I have a friend who suffers badly with depression, and it’s a horrible condition.
I’m just suggesting that you try to do a bit of life reassessment, get out of the house if you possibly can, and try not to focus on the bl***y virus so much. It will pass, and life will get back to normal again, for most people.

And it is getting better. Robert Peston said this afternoon that there were no reports of new Covid cases in London today!

I remember when I had DD1. A perfect baby after a late miscarriage the previous year. I had a loving husband, enough money, good parents and in-laws, and a nice new bungalow and I felt terrible. Eventually, the doctor told me I had post natal depression. It all came back to me last week when the same feeling swept over me. Covid19 Depresssion.

We come into the Shielding category. Do not go out. Ever. With really no end in sight. So we decided, as DH was also finding life increasingly difficult, to follow Mr Johnson’s advice and use our common sense.

So we’ve been out two or three times now. And today we drove (car three yards from the front door, a Covid free bubble) to our little boat (a short walk meeting no one), and chugged around for a bit, dropped a mud weight and had a picnic. It was wonderful! We both feel so much better now we’re getting out.

Do go for a drive. Find a quiet road and go for a walk, or park up and look at a view. Don’t stay trapped inside.

I had a bad day like that last week, a sense of desperation, no future to look forward to, no plannig and everyone saying this will be going on for a long time.Day in day out the same routine, even though we have a garden and working in it is therapy I suppose. Some days I feel is it going to be today,the visit fron CV. Most days I feel fine and the day after the bad day I thought of two upcoming events which made me better, my Granddaughters 20th Birthday on Sunday we shall be meeting them outside to celebrate this. In two weeks we shall be celebrating my Grandsons Graduation from College, meeting friends of his and the family, all outside, so hoping for good weather, we arent in lock down in this country but distancing. So why should I have felt so miserable with such lovely things about to happen, thinking of the grandchildrens future, not thinking of our own future.I need to pull myself together and get a life! Good Luck to anyone else feeling down it will get better.

Lizbethann55 I know what you mean. I said to my DH in years to come the date or name of the virus will be a quiz question. Went for a walk in the park today and my mood was not improved by seeing families mixing and not keeping to the government guidelines.

Hi there LesleyF43 ?
Hope you enjoy GN! Perhaps look into and post tomorrow on the Good Morning thread. Mick opens up about 6:15am every day. It’s a lovely gentle thread, ideal for getting to ‘know’ a few of us and honestly you’ll soon feel part of the gang as we’re a friendly bunch!

I think we're all feeling much the same as you at the moment, good days and bad days!
I've had a couple of teary days, but pick myself up & tell myself not to dwell on it or overthink things, we can't really change things so we have to just make the best of it all. Let's hope one day soon we can get back to semi-normal... fingers crossed!!

Lizbethann55 We could all have a zoom party. ? Glad you had a nice day.

I’m not going to make myself popular but why are you so dismissive of the things your family are saying? What actions is the person taking to make you say they are left of Marx and why not understand more about the person who is young but thinks they have no future?The world is in a terrible place and I think the older generations have a lot to answer for! Is there a future for young people?
Personally I’ve no money, can’t see GC, have family problems but Im trying to carry on with my activism in the environment movement and volunteer to do work on organic farm, do artwork etc. I feel a lot of the depression is coming from the feeling we are getting treated unfairly as if we are all entitled to anything we want. Find a meaning in life beyond holidays and pub meals then you have something that will always be there to give you strength and get through bad times.

Lizbethanne55 you are only one of thousands ....in fact millions of people not only in the UK but all over the world who are in this situation. From what you say it doesn't look like you have hobbies or things that you can enjoy during this lockdown. Maybe you are just plain bored! You say you have a good life so maybe just be thankful for the comforts that you have and the family which you will have more contact with when this is over. There are many many people raising young families and may live in fear of losing their jobs and living with the worry of lack of money to buy food and pay Bill's. There are also many people living on their own throughout this lockdown and suffering real loneliness. You don't seem to be in that position and for that you should be very grateful and maybe count the blessings you do have.

Lizbethann I have up and down times too despite having so much to be grateful for.

Bobdoesit I think DD means dear daughter and DH dear husband etc. I always just write daughter or son or husband. I dont understand some of the abbreviations.