Daughter at her wits end!

Totally agree with the thread. I’m back to square one with my mental health, friends keep me happy and so does meeting them in a well known coffee shop, lost so much weight this lockdown.

Hmm, dont really think burglary and sitting in the garden with your family can really be compared!

I agree paddyanne. No need to break laws.

Do you feel the same about ALL laws,if someone walked into your home and helped themselves to your belongings ,then said its OK that law doesn't apply to me ,just the people who dont have "common sense" you'll be fine with that ? Words fail me

While I am very sorry to hear about your friends son, lets keep things in perspective. You have more chance of being hurt or killed driving on the road, than you have of catching corona virus whilst sitting six feet from someone outdoors. I have my view. You have yours. Lets agree to differ!

Sophiasnana so you are absolutely sure you aren't incubating the virus...you must pass on how to do that .I do wish you could have told my friends son when he was a bit tired and off colour the morning of the day he died ..then he would have been sure to get help .The problem of course is although the death rate in England is massive a lot of people dont know or haven't even aquaintances who have had the virus or died from it,Believe me once you hear of someone else on a daily basis you'll take notice...or maybe not if you think the law doesn't apply to you!!

People keep mentioning 'common sense' but I think it's a rare thing.

Personally, I just couldn't live with myself if I took any risks. What if I accidentally passed on the virus (or encouraged someone else to) and caused the loss of a precious human life?

I desperately miss my family - but there won't be any visits. I'm disappointed to hear so many lame excuses.

Paddyanne, sorry , but I think we need to use a bit of common sense here. Every week I walk round Tesco, where it is impossible to be more than 6 feet from everybody, especially at the checkout. So I cant see what harm sitting in the garden with my daughter 6 feet away, having a lovely chat, is doing!
You have a very black and white view of life.

Me and DH have taken all the instructions on board and have kept in doors for the duration. However friends and family members tell of going round daughter's and sitting in their garden at a distant for a chat. So yesterday for the first time our daughter and her family came and sat in our garden for about 50 mins I guess and it was lovely to see them all. We have seen them on Skype and zoom but not quite the same.
Our daughter like yours is finding things difficult as she is working from home and her husband is sick with ME plus the kids are fed up.
Let's hope it ends soon.

Just two children to look after - and dad is about some of the time? It doesn't sound too bad to me. How can it be?

A nine year old refusing to do things needs to learn about consequences (carrot and stick). They do squabble when they're bored, so get them occupied. Have a friendly, optimistic attitude.

Perhaps the mother tried a little too hard to begin with, then lost momentum and feels a failure. A more relaxed and realistic routine would help.

Dad should join them for the compulsory daily walk. Take a few weeks away from school work.

Organise little prizes and rewards as incentives, limit favourite activities (e.g. screentime) for misbehaviour.

Above all, have fun and do plenty of new things (crafts, art, cooking, chores, films etc.) instead of a set timetable!

(How did I ever manage four kids and work on my own? Their father died, I had to get on with it, so I did.)

Parents of adult children do not have to rin to the rescue when life gets complicated.

They are adults, they figure it out.

Add pandemic to the mix and it's a no brainer

Why are the majority of us bothering to stick with the LAW about NOT meeting family from a different household when so many on here thinks its OK for them to do it.

My friend lost her 34 year old son to covid 19.....no underlying health issues.He was off colour in the morning and dead by evening
.I sincerely hope none of you are incubating it and passing it on while you break the rules.Selfish people thinking of no one but yourselves .Womem/families are surely perfectly capable of looking after their own children...if not why have them

My daughter is pregnant, working from home, home schooling and living on a building site.
SIL is working from home up to 15 hours a day.
She was exhausted.

We met 1/2 way and brought our 5 year old GD home to give them a break. .

My daughter finished work on Friday so can now relax a little, the builders are now predominantly outside and
they can now inhabit the whole house.

The break we gave them was against the rules but a calculated risk.

Regarding the mother screaming at her small child to stay away, this is what is worrying DD who has to go back to teaching, what is the mental affect on telling small children to stay apart, not touch all day long, as for the constant hand washing that is being required, who knows.

Sorry last line should say ‘whilst keeping those with severe health problems shielded’

But I did say exactly that marydoll and luckygirl Of course it’s not ‘just flu‘ for those with underlying problems it s completely scary and can be and is deadly but for many In that category but we have to get it into perspective its not deadly for everyone or even the vast majority The average healthy person gets over it just as they get over other mutations of flu and we cannot stay in lockdown for years it’s so upsetting for those with health problems that may have to but the country has to gradually come out of hiding in my opinion keeping those with severe health problems shielded

Doesn’t this question just boil down to our old friend, good old common sense?

We all know the guidelines and understand in the main the thinking behind them but we should always have had the ability to use our judgment with regard to our own personal circumstances.

In my opinion it’s also time to get people back to work or the cure could be worse than the illness.

Toadinthehole - and there we have it. This is precisely why Cummings must go. There is no other way to proceed. We will struggle to contain a second wave if he is allowed to get away with it. It sends the wrong message.

I wouldn't go.

This is a core family issue. It is for the daughter to fix with her husband.

My uncle in my home country just passed away due to covid.
The aftermath of his death is way worse than a short term fix of any current situation.

I would go too, if I thought there was any potential detriment to my children’s, grandchildren‘s lives. As I said on another thread, Dominic Cummins has show that we can interpret the rules as we see fit, with his “ Do as I say, not as I do” behaviour.

The conundrum for all of us is: what is best/worst for ME? -risking getting this virus or risking feeling seriously miserable in lockdown. Fair enough - we can all make a decision on that.

BUT - and here's the rub! - if I decide to break the rules, judging that my mental health is more important than risking the virus, I will not just be risking my getting the virus, but also OTHER PEOPLE; and I will risk those other people spreading it to YET MORE PEOPLE.

There has been so much on the media explaining this that I cannot believe anyone has not got it yet. We are doing this not just for ourselves but for those around us, who may be more vulnerable than us. It is a collective sacrifice for the greater good of all.

This is why people are so angry about Cummings - he did what he wanted for himself and ignored the risk to others.

It's a pain for sure - we none of us want to do this; and definitely not me, as I try and adjust to losing OH and living alone for the first time, but we have to do it.

By all means support your loved ones, but not by going near them.

FarNorth
I personally don't know anyone who has died and I'm extremely sorry for people who do.
But I do have 2 elderly neighbours who are suffering mentally.
Next door to one of those neighbours is a man who has just come home from being sectioned.
Now I've heard about a friend and a licensed gun. I can't put details because as we know this site isn't private.

BlueBelle, for some of us it's not just flu.

Were the two GPs and hospital staff who told me I would probably die if I got, being alarmist? That's great news, if it is just flu.

Sodapop ??

No Lucca that was not what I said at least. There are times when we have to balance the risk against helping family. If a family member is struggling mentally or physically and we can help then common sense should prevail.