Daughter at her wits end!

Safeguarding children? Children are not suffering from the flu, they're suffering from anguish.

Sophiasnana, I live in Scotland too, about two miles from my children, but am shielding. If I was in your position, I would go.

During the week, Nicola Sturgeon said in two different interviews, if you have a relative who needs you, and is suffering, then go! Just use common sense, be mindful of distancing and staying safe.

It's a matter of deciding what is the priority. Safeguarding of children is a priority.
It will take a long time for children to recover from this and damage limitation is what has to be done.

You have to preserve the mental health of your daughter and grandchildren and in my opinion, that takes priority.
My wee granddaughter is suffering badly from not seeing any of us, as we used to see her most days. She is normally so sweet natured, but has been having tantrums and meltdowns.

The benefits will outweigh the disadvantages. If you only live a mile away, walk there. It counts as exercise, quite legitimate.
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'Almost like we are being brainwashed' ? We are being brainwashed, your husband is right!
This strain of flu which everybody is so scared of is disappearing, just like any other strain of flu, in the heat and sunshine.
All you need to do, as Sophiasnana says, is use common sense.

Susan56, Teetime, thankyou both. I agree completely. You have to weigh up the physical risks, and the mental risks, and i really feel I need to step in to help now. Hard to see my daughter like this. She is usually such a ‘coper’. ??.
And Scotpiper, I’m sorry , but I really dont see what difference four days is going to make! I’m beginning to agree with my husband, who thinks its almost like we are being brainwashed into agreeing with the ‘rules’ instead of using common sense!

Thank you Teetime.x

susan56 I would have done the same. In fact if we are not allowed out soon Im going to.

A lot of children are suffering too and as a Mum of 5 boys - now all grown up I would just let the 9 year old have a bit of control and allow him to stay up as he must hear on the news about going back to schooland all the arguments which kids can't rationalise like adults . Now we can meet 1 friend maybe your daughter could meet that 1 friend for a walk etc as when I met my sister for a walk it was the best therapy I could have ever had. We swopped magazines and those dreaded jigsaws which I can then pass to my neighbour .Small things like this do help .
Yes - I would go and see her and see whether the 9 year old may open up to you - maybe via a few questions during a baking seession or out in the garden together - maybe take some seeds and compost ?
Children learn in a variety of ways. My youngest was gaming crazy and I used to feel guilty about him in his bedroom 24/7 . Post degree in Computer Science he has a good job and aged 23 is buying his 1st home so aged 9 I feel that this little boy will do something if a casual game is brought downstairs and silently put on the table or start a craft with the 4 year old and don't put anything out for him ? Maybe your daughter could ask - this Bank Hol to have a few hours to go out / see a friend - yes she is working very very hard

Sophiasnan don’t go today, please! I’m in Scotland too, just hang in there until next weekend when we are “allowed”. I’m in the same position, mine only live 8miles away, might as well be 800. The older GS is 10 and is really playing up. We’ve promised we will have him to stay when we are able, and we talk to him daily on WhatsApp. We just keep saying it won’t be long now. Please don’t be one of the ones who break the rules and we all end up in lockdown for longer.

Sophiasnana,we went to see our daughter on Friday.Our baby grandson has been ill since the beginning of lockdown and although he is doing better now it has been a lot for her to deal with as her husband is working and like your daughter she is homeschooling our DGD as well.
We made the decision on Friday that it would be better for all of us if we went over for a few hours and I am so glad we did.
I realise that not everybody will agree with what we did and I really don’t need people telling me they don’t agree with us but we did what we felt we had to do.
I think the positive impact on us all for spending those few hours helping out were well worth it.

Gaunt47, thats the frustrating thing. We live less than a mile from them. (Scotland, so we still have different rules)
I am seriously considering going there today, even if we just spend the afternoon in the garden with them. What my daughter needs, is longing for, is a few hours on her own, as the 9 year old doesnt even go to bed until his parents go, as he is scared and worried. Just want to get back to ‘normal’.

I think most parents are struggling to some degree with this. Getting children to knuckle down to schoolwork at home can be a thankless task, without the structure of a school day. I know that my DDs are battling to get school work done.

Do your GC have a garden? Can they do their learning out there? Is there somewhere for them to walk that could be the focus of the lessons? For example one DD took the children to a stream and they designed and made a device for raising water.

Try this link: www.thelostwords.org/resources/ There are some imaginative learning resources that my DD commissioned in connection with their Lost Words Spell Songs project.

If all esle fails then I do not think it is the end of the world to throw in the towel when it comes to learning - it is one term in a lifetime of learning and not the end of the world. There are plenty of opportunities to learn in the real world. Have you tried family history? - the children could devise a list of questions to ask you and their other grandparents - I did this with our GC and I managed to dig out a ration book and identity card from my parents.

It is becoming so obvious that these lockdown rules are having a detrimental effect on our society.
Incarcerating healthy young people is cruel. The regulations are unenforceable. Social distancing is unnatural.
Tell your daughter to get outside in the fresh air with husband and the kids, not long walks but activities. Go and join them if you don't live too far away. Give them plenty of hugs.