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Feeling jealous of families

(7 Posts)
DaisyL Fri 29-May-20 10:21:30

Does anyone else feel jealous of families spending lockdown together? I live on my own since my husband died and most of the time I'm absolutely fine and very happy for my friends who are isolating with a partner or family, but when they tell me they've been having such a lovely time with takeaway pizza and a bottle of Rose in the garden or playing riotous family games I sometimes feel waves of self pity which makes me cross! I usually snap out of it because I am pretty lucky - have my health and my garden, but I suppose being in my late 70s I can't help wondering how much time I've got left.

Ilovecheese Fri 29-May-20 10:37:44

If they are telling you these things to your face, tell them how it makes you feel. I don't suppose they are doing it to hurt you so may dial it down if you are honest with them.
If you are seeing these things on social media, it might be as well to stop looking for a while.
You have my sympathy and good wishes.

DaisyL Fri 29-May-20 11:17:51

I'm delighted they tell me - I want them to be having a good time! It just makes me a bit wistful and down that I;m not having a good time too

Shrub Fri 29-May-20 11:32:16

I’m in the same situation as you DaisyL although not yet 70. I have waves of self pity too, but I try to kick myself and remember there are so many people in a much worse situation. I feel sad that I am missing out on all the interesting things we were going to do in our retirement and that life is too short to be in lockdown.

I will think of you while I have my glass of wine tonight on my own.

I hope you have family that you will be able to see after Monday.

flowers wine

felice Fri 29-May-20 11:56:26

I am sorry to hear you feel like that, I try to be careful when i am talking to people who I know are at home alone.
One friend who lost her husband last year is feeling very down, her family all live abroad. I only mention DGS if she asks, then do not mention everything we do.
One couple I am very close to are always asking about him wanting to see him online and chat for ages. They lost their Grandson to suicide a couple of years ago but just love to see and speak to DGS.
It takes a bit of juggling but I hope I do not upset people.

Grammaretto Fri 29-May-20 12:09:33

DaisyL and Shrub ((hugs))

It's hard enough when we have a partner but can I suggest you phone people. Go through your address book and speak to people. I have had several completely unexpected calls from old friends which made my day so I am determined to do that too.

When people offer to help you, take them up on their offer however hard it seems to be the dependant one. I am gratefully accepting things which before I perhaps wouldn't have.
Giving and receiving is a two way thing.
Can you invite someone to sit in your garden? (bringing their own wine and glass grin)

DaisyL Fri 29-May-20 12:23:43

Absolutely - I go for walks and meet friends and have people social distancing in the garden. I'm actually going to have lunch with a friend next week in her garden. I Zoom and talk to masses of old and new friends. It is just that when you lose a husband after 30 + years you are not necessarily lonely but miss the closeness that you had for so many years.