The Lockdown Gang - on parole!

Yes it's silly o'clock and I'm awake.
It's frustrating.
My mind is mush and I'm not taking anything in.
I think my brain keeps switching to standby mode every time I think it's on that little blue (sometimes red) light comes on but the screen is blank.
Dratted seizure brain ?.

Mamissimo, I completely agree with your message for Marydoll - a message that all of us understand really.
We all of us have our own issues to contend with, we miss family and friends and doing ordinary things and this pig of a virus sits there snorting.
To add insult to injury it is delaying of tests and in your and Marydoll's case hospital treatment you have both long since needed that pushes to breaking point.

Sometimes it almost feels like being picked on rather than protected when we know that protection is the aim. It does leave me with something burning inside me though about the harm delay after delay could be doing. I want you both to get the treatment you need now and others who need it to get it now. I want tests and examinations up and running again now. I want this now so that those of us waiting for these things to happen, in discomfort and pain, are at least relieved from this suffering thus removing one burden that is making the whole situation we are facing harder to bear.

In the main I cope with all life throws at me and I've had epilepsy so long, it's not going away, it's just something I have, I live with it. It's the stuff on top I don't need.

When I've eventually got to sleep and have a good night's sleep (with no hiccups) I will be refreshed and ready to cheer another day ?

Goodnight, or is it good morning?

I'm just dropping in to say hello again.

I'm so sorry for those upset by the shielding extensions and the implications for those waiting for treatments that would relieve their pain and improve their quality of life. Our families want us to continue to be there for them. I'm holding on to that but we're all being robbed of precious time that some of us can't afford.

My tooth filling has come out yet again today. I phoned the dentist but the pre-recorded message has not changed, so I will try and fill the tooth myself again.

I also cut my husband's hair today, he says he doesn't see why he needs to go to a barber again - he's easily pleased (and he can't see the back).

I suppose I've tried to keep busy to stop myself from thinking but I make myself tired as well. Good night all.

Thank you all for your kind words.

My consultant is a gem and he is doing everything in his power, but he says he needs to keep me safe and it is not safe to go into hospital.
There is going to be a meeting with a few of the RA consultants within the next few weeks to come up with a solution for me.

Mammissimo, I'm hoping you have a pain free night.
I haven't cried yet in front of my family, but have come close to it a few times. The bath is a good place for a secret weep!!
No point in upsetting our families.

Like you, Mammissimo, tomorrow, I will pin a smile on my face and pretend I'm fine!

Good night again, sleep tight.

mammissimo I’m sorry you’ve been in pain again. I’m not surprised you cried after receiving the letter. When treatment is an option we all want to get on with it. Get it done. The worry of contracting this virus has a big impact on people like you and Marydoll. Many of those shielded, like my DH, are on their medication and just trying to stay out of harms way but life is much harder for those like you waiting for treatment. Hope you don’t have another flare up of those gallstones.
Take care all

iam glad you’re feeling better today. Like you, we are just doing daily walks. Keeping away from others.
lemon you are indeed idle. There is a lot of washing up to do at the Argy after last Friday’s party. Get your marigolds on and get to it. ?
Marydoll Now that your lockdown date has been extended again, could you not try getting in touch with your consultant to see if something can be done to start your treatment. You GP would normally be first port of call but he/she doesn’t seem to be making much effort. I do think you would feel better in yourself if this treatment could be started. I think we would all feel the same in your situation. It’s the waiting and feeling you’re not getting anywhere. You certainly do have a lot to give and a lot of living to do Marydoll so don’t you go and get written off anywhere.
I think the problem with talking to family is the fact that we don’t want to worry them. panache mentioned the same about her husband keeping his worries to himself and cherry’s husband too. We don’t like to worry family which mean things get bottled up sometimes. Whilst we need to remember that this is an open forum, I hope we all feel that we can tell each other how we are feeling without having to pretend things are ok when they’re not. As I said before, life isn’t a bed of roses and sometimes the garden is just full of manure. Tell it how it is.
When my DH had to take my photo for something I kept rejecting his offerings. My eyes look wonky, my nose too big, my teeth are sticking out, my hairs a mess, I look too pale. In the end he asked if I would like to send in a picture of someone else instead. ?

Marydoll you are amongst friends here so never ever apologise for expressing how you feel! We have been strong for so long that we don’t know how to deal with the fear that this blasted virus could wipe out all the years of work we’ve put in to maintain a normal life.

I have been sideswiped by another gall stones attack today and I also had to go to hospital today for Biological treatment. I’m wiped out. I came home to a letter from my consultant saying that in my case the operation that I need can’t be done until Covid is over because the NHS can’t keep me safe at present. However if I pass out with pain I’m to go to A&E and they will see what they can do. My dear family is now worried because I cried and didn’t seem to want to stop.

Tomorrow I will pin my smile back on, straighten my shoulders and stagger onward - because that what we have to do for our families.

Love, hugs and respect to all.

Oh Marydoll
It is a sorry tale.
I think DH has been lucky with his consultant and his GP.
He gets regular phone calls from the hospital and also goes to the GP (nurse) for blood tests.
I phone quite often. I always do the calling as if I'm his minder
I think it's a disgrace that you haven't been able to begin the RA treatment yet.
We were told from the start that DH's cancer was of more concern to him than the covid. He has a scan booked at the hospital next week.

At least the folk on here do understand as well as anyone can.
Just today I had to explain to someone that "no we haven't been out". I think we will now though for a drive rather than a walk.
If we aren't quick Summer will be over!
Sleep well everyone.
I am looking forward to my hot choccie.

Thanks, Nfk. The R rate in Scotland is between 0.7 and one, I think.

I filled in a survey on Shielding for Scot Govt. a few days ago, but it did not allow for comments, just tick boxes. I was raging at not being able to give my views. ?
However, I gave my email address and asked to be part of any future discussions with Scottish shielders.

Until last week, when my lovely retired consultant phone me, I felt quite abandoned by the medics. Not a word from my GP at all in thirteen weeks, despite the fact I have missed umpteen blood and urine tests, which are supposed to be done every two weeks and should have been in hospital on 4th April to start new treatment. My consultant said he was gravely concerned about me missing out on all this.
My health is failing badly, due to the lack of access to healthcare.

I understand why shielding has to continue, but the effect on mental health is horrific, not only to the patient, but to those partners shielding with them. Shielding may be keeping us safe, but it is brutal.
I feel so guilty about my husband having to put his life on hold, he has never once complained.
For that reason, I am now encouraging to go out for a round of golf for his own mental and emotional well being.
If we take precautions, he won't compromise me.

I got the feeling that there was some information my doctors were not revealing about the effect of Covid on us, the critically vulnerable, I also got that same feeling when my GP advised me to shield, way before the official guidelines.
I can't put my finger on it, but I just have a gut instinct and I am quite intuitive.
Without meaning to sound over dramatic, my consultant literally put the fear of death in me last week! ?

At one point, I said to my husband that the authorities don't care, because we are old! and dispensible. Think how many blocked beds in hospitals will be released and how many places in care homes? It's like eliminating the weak and vulnerable!
I still have a lot to give to society, I'm not finished yet, so don't write me off!

People are always sympathetic and kind, but when they say, Oh I know how hard it is for you., they don't!
It certainly is not the same as self isolating, it's the implications it has for of the state of your health and the fact you will probably die if you get Covid 19. It's actually quite brutal.

I get really angry when I read people on this forum saying things like, I wish I had got a letter, that way I could get delivery slots Please have my letter and all that goes with it.
Even tonight my husband commented on the fact that up until now, I hadn't quite accepted how poor my health was, because I always got on with things. I thought I was invincible.

Anyway, enough wallowing for tonight. Apologies, this has turned into one of my novellas! . I am a frustrated author and I just had to get it all off my chest. I'm sure like me, many of you don't want to burden your family with your woes.
I don't expect anyone to read it, but it has been cathartic! .

Today, after a great deal of faffing about by DH trying to take a photo to upload, I managed to eventually send off my Blue Badge renewal application, which I had forgotten about

I made DH wait, until I had done my hair and put on full make up, so that he could take a photo. David Bailey, he isn't, despite what he thinks. He had to sit on a chair to get a head and shoulders picture, as I'm too small.
The first attempt was a picture of a wee lady with sloping shoulders, big boobs and a fat tummy.
I almost didn't recognise myself made up, it's been thirteen weeks of no make up!! ?
I even trimmed my hair, it's a bit lopsided, but it will grow!

Nite, nite all. I hope you all have a restful night.
Tomorrow is a new day, where we will continue the good fight. Take care all. As my pupils in school would say, after they had to do a solo talk: Thanks for listening.

Hello All....I can’t compete with your very long posts ( am far too idle to do those)?
Don’t know about anyone else but I am getting quite used to things now and am enjoying myself in a strange kind of way.
Nothing in the diary except times of shopping deliveries.
Have decided to camp out in The Argy for the next week as there are exciting things going on there.Cheers.???

Hello lockdown gang. I had a very tired day yesterday, for no reason I could name. Today has been much better.
Marydoll - I haven't had the letter or text about shielding for longer but have been continuing to do what I've done since mid March. No crowds, no shops/supermarkets, one good walk a day with the dogs, as far away from busy areas as I can get. My GP initially pointed out that every time I leave the house I'm at risk but after talking acknowledged that if I don't walk, I'll seize up. Plus, the psychological benefits of getting out into the fresh air and walking the dogs are hard to measure. I no longer feel I'm taking huge risks because the evidence seems to be that outside, socially distanced, we are relatively safe.
Keep safe everyone x

marydoll I am so sorry for your distress. I can understand your longing to get started on your treatment and are upset with any further delays. Is it worth contacting your consultant to see if there is any way you can start.
grammaretto hopefully going out for a walk will lift the spirits a bit and a little garden party for your DGS.
panache you too locked in for longer. August 15th seems a while off . You will still have your trip to the sea though I hope.
To be honest nothing much has changed for us. The shielded are now allowed out for a walk and that is all we have been doing. We haven’t seen family or friends and still spend most of the day indoors. DH is very happy to be walking again. We try to pick places where we don’t meet many people and then do our best to avoid those we do meet.
dragonfly hope you do have your appointment. It may be a telephone consultation. DH had his with his consultant last week.
cherry sorry to hear your DH has such pain problems. That must be difficult for you both to live with.
I don’t seem to have achieved half of what I intended to do today. I don’t know where the time has gone.
Be back to catch up later.

Grammaretto, Marydoll - I wrote to my MP about the stress which is being put onto Shielders when there wasn't even the option for going out for exercise. Pointed out the mental stress on those not allowed out, the danger of depression, the health problems mounting up due to not even being able to have the exercise which was considered so important for the fit majority and how much worse it is for those stuck in flats with no outside space whatsoever. And I wasn't alone apparently and it has gained a small concession. Do write to your MP. Letters get noted my your MP and passed to the Whips office, so the more who write the better.
The R rate is down everywhere now, so keeping the Shielded in full view of Them-in-charge is important. It's too easy to say "Oh, leave them where they are for now", out of sight and out of mind. I don't know where you are but even in the high rate areas it should be reconsidered before the end of July.

Oh, yes Dreamkeeper, you are right about the extension in Wales, I think I must have deliberately blocked it out!

Afternoon gang.

Dreamkeeper, you're not wrong about you lot filling in the gaps are you? ?. There are always umpteen posts between my last and next posts - how's a girl meant to catch up ?.

I've gathered from your posts that your DH is the strong, silent type who endeavours to soldier on no matter what. Of course you know him best and know his physical and mental difficulties and I'm sure you do help him in ways he allows himself to let you. My WP is not dissimilar I think. He doesn't have your DH'S health issues; he has chronic pain syndrome which he battles through doing too much and pushing himself to do things he shouldn't do. I've tried in vain (still do) to help him do things that are really too much for him but will he let me - no. Clearly you both know the love you have for one another and if I am correct and he is like my WP then that is his biggest help. I genuinely hope he is okay.

I could tell you about my time nursing but there's not much to tell. I trained in a hospital in England and worked there but after an incident on a secure ward, which obviously I can't go into, I left nursing. A few years later whilst I was studying for my degree I did work as a support worker in a purpose built supportive living apartments (which I loved) but never went back to nursing.

Marydoll, sorry to say it but I thought there would be an extension date given in guidance for shielders. It does seem to be very extended though, especially considering that there wasn't a single death from Covid-19 in Scotland yesterday. ?that will continue and the date may be brought forward when it is thought safe. It's a distinct possibility that Wales will follow similar guidance for us here.

Sorry to hear about the trials your SiL is putting you through. Is that the same relative that put you through so much with her IT issues?
Hope you do get a bit of empty time today btw ?.

I'm not ignoring the rest of you lovely people but having taken a coffee break I'd better get back to the cleaning I started earlier ? and catch up with you all later.

I totally understand Marydoll as I have and am on the brink of tears off and on throughout................this business is just going on and on.........and perhaps you are like me,and many others,totally afraid of the future as the entire situation seems far from under any form of control.
If only we could see ahead and hope..........

If my appointment goes ahead on the 22nd I shall ask my consultant if I still need to shield. Like you I am so tired of it all now.

I know Panache, but when I got the Govt text this morning, I felt a glimmer of hope.

Anyway onward and upward, I hope you and your dear husband are having a relatively peaceful and stress free day.

Our extended period of shielding here in Wales is until August 15th..........so yes you both ave my full sympathies.However resilient we are and we shall be moved!!!!..........in a slow but extremely safe manner.

I was in tears too, * Grammaretto! Life is rubbish at the moment!
The longer the shielding goes on, the less chance of getting my new meds.?

I need to give myself a shake, it is what it is! We are resilient, we have got this far and we will beat this!

You and me both Marydoll. I was in tears. We will be allowed out for walks so there's a concession.

I think we will make up our own minds and not take unnecessary risks but make sure there are some things to look forward to. Our DGS in Edinburgh has a birthday in a couple of weeks and I will invite them (DS & DDiL) over for a picnic in the garden at a distance and we would love to visit our DD in the Highlands.

The other set of grandparents are chomping at the bit to visit and they aren't shielding but DD wants us to come.

I find I'm on the edge of tears a lot now . Mental health is important too.

panache you have achieved much more than me so far today. Glad you enjoyed your walk. We shall go after a light lunch....rice cakes....delicious ?
I am sorry to hear you are anxious about DH. I know we are all worried but I feel your have greater concerns. It is difficult when we feel we cannot support well enough those we care for. I hope Mr P is ok.
Trust your car will be ready for a jaunt soon and your spirits lifted by a trip to the sea.
marydoll so sorry you’re upset by the extended lockdown. It may well be for good reasons but doesn’t help with families who miss each other.

Bad news Marydoll. We’re fortunate to live in an area with a fairly low R rate, so before Boris said we could, we decided that since shielding is only a recommendation and not a law we would sneak out occasionally. Had the rate been different we’d stay put. We’re still very careful. What’s the R rate where you are?

Unfortunately not good news at all!?

While I fully understand the reasons why, I'm devastated that our shielding has been extended until the 31st of July. It is indeed a blow.

I shallow go away and lick my wounds and hopefully return later in better humour.

Glad to read on the GM thread, that Cherry feels a wee bit better today.?

Hi there folks,I seem to be rather all over the place although fair to say despite my poor and painful night I have already completed the ironing and we both have enjoyed our morning stroll.
The weather is grey,calm,no wind and therefore our saunter was very pleasant.Not another soul around!
The way we like it because it avoids all this dodging and diverting.

Hope you feel much better this morning Cherry, you too Dragonfly.Best taking things nice and easy following one of my favourite sayings"Take one day at a time"

I now have a delightful picture of your surroundings Doodle,surely you have a riverside view?The architects certainly used the land in a safe and protective way,something that is not always followed.
I shall have a look into my settings here and you are probably right.I simply came back with this new and uncomfortable user name with no further thought as I was so pleased to be back in!!!
Do not fear you are alone in mis reading posts,especially mine,as we welsh tend to be a little on the poetic side I have caused many raised eyebrows over the years!
Whilst I have to agree,on reading Missedout`s very involved days I find myself quite weary!

We are getting anxious now but have to wait until thursday for our car to be collected and attended to by the garage,so of course our plans "to escape" have had to be put on hold.
We both have itchy feet!!
This month is one we are going through with great trepidation,sadly my dear man does not "open up" and I know he has great fears but does not wish to burden me with them.
Yet all I want is to understand and offer help in every way I can.We are such complex mortals.

A lovely filling breakfast so thanks to the chef in charge!.
We have salad on our menu today we then add lots of extras that are to our taste.
No chard or spinach though!
I am still not eating very well but I am doing my best.

Have a great productive day cell mates,lots of pottery throwing,grocery handling ,pilates and all the rest.
Seems those of you north of the border will have some exciting news from your Chief this day.Hopefully it will be of interest and help.

For now toodle pip all.See you later.

Grammaretto my parents lived 200 miles away from us and as I am an only child I persuaded them to come and live near us. The moved into a warden controlled bungalow complex just up the road. They lived there for 10 years until my Dad told me they weren't managing. I found a nearby home for them where they could be together until my dad died 2 years ago at 97. My mum is in the dementia unit and doesn't know me anymore. She will be 100 in September.

Doodle I wipe what I can with antiseptic wipes and put some shopping in the dining room to quarantine. I am sure it is not really necessary but you cant be too careful.