New school term, risks for grandparents

If my DGC passed the virus on to me and I was seriously ill or if I died my DGD woud be so concerned and guilty. She has in the last 4 years lost a much loved GGM and a GD, I wouldn't want her to have any more sorrow. I'm staying away for them as well as for me.

I have decided that at 75 there is something ‘out there’ with my name on it. Whether it be the virus or something else I cannot just sit hidden away going not very slowly nuts! I have no hope of going back to the Volunteering that I did for 26 years before Lockdown but I am not spending my last few years not seeing my DGC! I have missed so much through Lockdown so will carry on being careful ( social distancing most people & masks) but will see & hug my family while I can! If this sounds selfish it is not it is my decision to see my DGC as much as possible before something with my name on grabs me!

My British DGC live 70 miles away and I’m in a bubble with them. I hadn’t even considered stopping contact after they return to school. Not sure what I shall do, I don’t think it would do my mental health much good to just give up seeing them altogether for months on end.

the Scottish school cases are an odd one.The children only went back less than a week ago and some of them hadn't BEEN back at school at all .Obviously been caught not IN school but at home .My GD's schools have rigorous measures in place both in school and for dropping off and collection .The classes are let out at 5 minute intervals starting half an hour early and finishing half an hour later .So my GD starts at 8'45 and finishes at 2.45.Her older sister starts at 9.15 and finishes at at 3'15 and ther is 5 minutes between classes coming out.Parents have been told not to congregate at gates but to stay back or in their cars until their child appears .I just waved at my GD from the car and she walked across to us .

The decision is will you feel emotionally better seeing the GC therefore helping your immune system? I think it's swings and roundabouts.

I see in the news that there are new cases of the virus in a Scottish school, they have hardly been back a week. When all the schools are back we will almost certainly see a rise in cases.
I have seen my GC twice in the last six months, once was outside with no touching and the second time they came to my home but I had to feed them as they had been out all day and it was a long drive home.
Teenage GD is seeing friends and I have heard that younger one is allowed to play with her friends in the street so I am not sure about contact when they return from holiday.
Both GC have birthdays in the first week of September and the parents are having parcels delivered here so I am between a rock and a hard place.

NemosMum

www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2006100
Please see your grandchildren! There is not a single confirmed case in the world of pre-pubescent children transmitting COVID-19 to an adult. The link above is to a paper giving the findings of the Icelandic whole population study. Unless you are VERY vulnerable, it will be much worse for you and your grandchildren not to see each other. As Prof. Spiegelhalter says, the risk of dying of COVID-19 does not exceed your whole-year risk of dying of any cause in 12 months.

The results in that article are from Iceland up to 4 April. Do you have a link to anything more up-to-date?

Recent research suggests young children shed virus in a similar way to adults. It's of concern that they can be asymptomatic, so could transmit infection without anybody knowing that the children were infected in the first place.

I think we all are living in a time when we have to take our own risk assessments, be aware of local and government advice and be sensible. In addition, we all need to keep an eye on the number of cases in different areas. At the moment cases are non existent, and have been for weeks, in the immediate area where we live. We are not being complacent but see no reason for not continuing to spend time, albeit socially distanced (as far as possible!), with our grandchildrenwhen they go back to school. We will be careful and rethink our approach, if needed, but will not live in fear! Both in our mid 60 s and healthy.

Everyone needs to do their own risk assessment taking into account all the circumstances and decide what they are happy with, and is any risk worth it. I have only visited gc in back garden observing social distancing. 4 year old GD knows this and is very good at observing it. No hugs but we do pretend kisses and hugs. It is a new world they are learning. I should have been collecting her from school one day a week when she starts in September but I won’t be doing it now as my dh is high risk.

I work in a secondary school myself, as a learning support assistant. We work closely with the students we support, so won't be able to distance like the teachers. I'm starting to be concerned as I was due to retire in July but put it off, not wanting to retire from not being at work properly. Now I'm wondering if I made a mistake and may give notice when I return in September. I'm diabetic though otherwise in reasonable shape - I've even lost a bit of weight during lock down probably due to the lack of shared buiscuits in the staff room - so I'm not sure how high the risk is for me.

I was shocked when told we weren't to be allowed to wear masks in school, just visors, which are supposed to be worse than useless, though I will wear one anyway! One colleague has raised this with management as the fact that we can't distance like the teachers puts us at more risk, but she hadn't had a response the last I heard.

I was so looking forward to retiring but many of the things I'd planned to do have not been happening, another reason for staying on at work for a while. I guess I'll make my decision soon after I return, depending how the kids are behaving. I think the risks are lower in primary schools as the kids are smaller, so are not breathing out in your face, but in secondary most of the students are taller than me!
My first grandchild is due in September so that too will affect my decision as I certainly don't want to be a risk to him or her, though I won't see them often as they live at a distance and are due to move to Germany in October. Decisions, decisions... Good luck to all of you who have to decide about meeting grandchildren. I think that schools reopening may mean other things may have to be restricted more to balance things out.

www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa2006100
Please see your grandchildren! There is not a single confirmed case in the world of pre-pubescent children transmitting COVID-19 to an adult. The link above is to a paper giving the findings of the Icelandic whole population study. Unless you are VERY vulnerable, it will be much worse for you and your grandchildren not to see each other. As Prof. Spiegelhalter says, the risk of dying of COVID-19 does not exceed your whole-year risk of dying of any cause in 12 months.

We have had to care for DGD (aged 6) since May, several days a week, as DD couldn't be furloughed. She is separated from DGD's daddy, who continues to do some care. We took and fetched from school,several times a week in June/July and will continue to do so in September, no choice as there is no longer a childminder in place. DH & I both still under 70.

My DGC are older so not likely to hug me by mistake and I have managed to see them in the garden quite a few times, I am afraid it is the Winter I am dreading not only will the GC be back at school but three members of the family teach and two others have underlying health issues. Just have a feeling OH and I will be in our own home for Chr...........this year

Our Gdcs were back at school for a few weeks before the holidays too, @CrazyGrandma2.
We decided to risk it anyway.

An ex colleague of dd, a key worker, had her dcs at school/nursery throughout, and she and her dh are older parents even by today’s standards, but all well. Many parents in the area are medics - there are several hospitals, so you’d imagine the risk might be greater.

My dd had her 3rd (surprise) baby in early January. As we’ve all remarked, if it was going to happen (of course the baby is a joy) she couldn’t have picked a better time to be on maternity leave.

I have seen my 6 quite a lot. We have gone on country walks where we can keep a distance. Met them in car park as we took our own cars. Mind you they did immediately run & hug me. I don't mind but DS was horrified.
I saw the other set at their home in the garden.
Not sure what we are going to do about me picking little ones up from school but it is only one day a week so we may just have to stop that for now.

I will be doing the school run 2 days per week and looking after the youngest little one full time on those days. As with others who have commented we have no health issues and are only in our early 60s

Only last night I decided I would fly to see DS and family who live in south of UK. I weighed up that for months we were all allowed to walk about, go into stores etc without a mask and the spread reduced. Now masks are mandatory so surely risk has to be reduced again. I am no longer going to stop family contact as I could well drop dead from a stroke, heart attack, road accident. I will continue to wear a mask, sanitise hands and clean surfaces.

I’m watching the Scottish schools very carefully.

We have been seeing our GS as part of our family bubble, and would oversee him after school on two days a week in the normal course of events. He has a condition which means he shouldn’t be left alone. We have signalled our willingness to do so again when he returns to school and SiL returns to work after furlough, but will work out extra safeguarding measures as necessary and hope that will be enough for the necessary couple of hours.

I used to pick up and take my DGC to school on 2 afternoons and 1 morning I haven't done it since over 70s were advised to shelter. My DS has adjusted his hours to make provision for September, so I won't be doing it then. I have seen them since they have been out of school but probably won't in September, I will miss them.
I don't know if people realise that parents can ask their employers to make adjustments to their working hours if they need to. Hopefully at some point we will be clear of this situation and back to normal.

It is worrying, I am 62 this year with a collection of ailments but still working 60 hours a week as a childminder. Not looking forward to them all going back to school. It is bad enough to know that parents are flouting the guidelines now.

Our situation is the same as what Witzend said.

The only difference is that the GC went back to school in June for several weeks. Once they restarted school it seemed like a nonsense that they could mix with friends and teachers, but not their GPs. We started to socialise with them again and we are still here to tell the tale. We are lucky to be living in an area where the incidence of Covid is low.

As Witzend said, we have decided that we have to learn to live with it. Our family are all aware of the risks but also feel that life has to go on. My personal view is also that quality of life is probably more important than quantity of life. Strange times we are living in.

It’s a difficult one and pretty heartbreaking for us grandparents. I’m very fit and healthy and 70yo but judging by the stories you hear that is no guarantee against having a serious Covid illness. Plus I have parents in their 90s who rely on me so I won’t want to take any risks. There have been cases reported in 2 Scottish primary schools today and my young great nieces in the US both caught it at a summer camp: children can and do get it although usually mild they can obviously pass it on.
My DD has suggested that we meet in a park or NT place once school starts. It’s a good idea but how do you tell a 4 yo that she can’t cuddle you or hold her hand??

Some of you are very lucky to have the choice. Our grandchildren live with us so we have no option. We will just practise as much social distancing as is possible. They are 13 and I am quite heartened by the measures prepared for each school but having said that the schools both have over one thousand students so the year group bubbles will be huge.We will just have to manage the best we can.

It's an awful situation made worse by the fact theres so much we just dont know.
Mine live a two hour drive away so dont see on a weekly basis. My daughter has been very cautious throughout,my eldest grandson who is nearly five has been at a summer camp for the past few weeks.
A month ago my daughter did a house swap with her in laws who lived nearby and we were able to do a socially distanced visit in my garden.
My daughter and grandsons are visiting this week. They are staying with the in laws at their request. They are in 70s but other than that fit and healthy although of course their immune system is not as effective. Still it's their choice and their house is ideally set up so can be used as separate households with completely separate living areas.
I on the other hand am younger but diabetic. I have been stringently social distancing. A week ago friends suggested picking me up in their car for a garden visit. They are both very cautious. The government guidelines at the time were quite woolly so I thought maybe I should venture out. Yesterday I checked website and they have changed again advising vulnerable people to minimize social contact outside of household. If the government suggest it I follow as they seem to be quite hopeless so if do advise against something there must be a problem!
So I cancelled friend visit although they are happy to visit in my garden. Sometimes I feel like a coward other times I think well I've got this far!
Not driving complicates the issue as it makes it impossible to meet up at say a local country park with daughter and family. Still I'm lucky to have a garden and a pond with ducks nearby if weather holds up.
The opening of schools is a major issue for everyone if not done properly ☹