Dreading the winter without garden visits.

I am not living in fear, but have found life to be distinctly lacking nowadays because of the many things which are not now available or have been cancelled. I no longer go out for a wander along the high street with visits to charity and local small shops, and a visit to a coffee shop as part of the outing. Have been to a garden centre once, and now the weekly food shop is done as quickly as possible. Not out of fear but just because the necessary face covering I find just too hot and uncomfortable and make outings involving anything indoor something I just don't do now. I was invited to a friend's house a few weeks back, and she had sensibly sorted ventilation for the room and we sat at opposite ends of the room, and she was at great pains to handle my tea cup from the bottom when making me a drink. I think we are all now left with making whatever compromises we can to reintroduce previously 'normal' life activities where we are able.

I think you have to weigh up the pros and cons here and decide for yourself what your happy with. My parents are 81 & 83 and have decided to have us in their homes and they've started going out and about. they say they haven't got many years left and don't want to spend what they do have stuck in doors. They're taking sensible precautions and making the best of things.

Phoebes, don't be too disheartened if your antibody tests come back negative, it doesn't mean that you haven't had it, just that your T cells probably fought it off before your antibodies to it could be made. This was the case with my daughter, GP is certain she had it, and still loss of taste and smell after 7 months, but antibody test negative. Her husband tested positive after she gave it to him! We need a new test to detect T cells with the ability to remove it too.

No I wouldn't - but previously we were not in the middle of a pandemic of a highly infectious new virus. We are now, so the two situations are not comparable at all. None of these usual winter bugs That you mention above have overwhelmed our health service and caused so many deaths among front line staff in the NHS and care professions.

Talking about it as if it is just a normal run-of-the-mill bug is misleading and had no foundation in fact.

If you choose to live your life as though this is the case, then you are taking risks with others' lives. I do not think you have the right to do that.

OK so let me pose this question, did you have any worries or fears about visiting with someone indoors before CV19 hit town? If the answer is no and you had visitors over or you went to see them in their home then you actually ran quite a risk of contracting something that could have had a detrimental effect on your health each and every time you met. Common colds, one of the many other corona viruses, one of the many other strains of influenza, gastric bugs, the herpes zooster virus that causes shingles for example were all floating around ready to be passed on and absolutely nobody ever gave this a thought when considering meeting up. All of the above have always had the potential to make certain people very very ill, sometimes gravely, and not always people with underlying health issues either. What should be happening now is to get things into perspective and stop being terrified out of our minds because we have always lived in a petrie dish of germs, bugs and viruses. Living in fear is no life at all, and as I said in the beginning would you have questioned a trip or visitors coming over pre CV19?

For the lSt five years the only time I left the house was to go to the doctors or the hospital or for a once a year haircut. I have no friends and have panic attacks on going out so I don’t go out. I have close family with young grandchildren who go to nursery or school. My children all work in public environments. Whenever they visited I would come down with a cold or some sort of virus. They were always careful not to come around when they were displaying any symptoms so I am now very wary of visits. I’m 61 and I really would like a few more years of life so I will continue to isolate as much as possible. Perhaps this has all been a huge overreaction and we should have done the same as Sweden, who knows, but the thought of being in hospital on a ventilator because I didn’t take care chills me to the bone.

i agree totally with Oopsminty, do what makes YOU happy and safe

Being unable to do online food shopping at the beginning due to lack of slots, I have been going to my local supermarket since the beginning. My DHis 82 and a diabetic, and I am 72. The supermarket was brilliant, ine way system, in at the back, out at the front. We have practised good hygiene, and are now starting to go out and about more, been to restaurants, had family round for meals and have had a short break in the Cotswolds. I think everyone has to make up their own minds.

Well said, growstuff

Totally agree with Bluebell.

At last I'm having a Covid antibodies test on Friday! My husband and I are both convinced we had Covid19 very early on in the year as it really wasn't recognised at that stage in this country. He was ill first, along with other members, after some Chinese players direct from China visited his table-tennis club and I caught it off him), but have been unable to check the antibody situation. We both had all the symptoms and I was so ill we had to call the paramedics, but nobody realised what it could be that early on. I had a chest x-ray and scan which revealed a patch of infection on my lung, which has now completely cleared up, following a second scan a couple of weeks ago and yesterday I asked a new GP if I could be tested and he agreed instantly. If I have antibodies, then my husband will too as I caught it from him, so we can both feel a bit more relaxed about going out, which is great! If we don't have antibodies, at least we don't have that uncertainty any more! I'm not looking forward to winter, because I never do!

Yes, I agree with lots of comments, however my family WONT come in our house, and not keen for us to go in theirs, we had amity visiting at the weekend which was wonderful but only for outdoor meet up in a park and then all went home.???, dreading cold dark days.

Well said Haweral We can do this. We are protecting our loved ones and front line staff by staying safe. That's a pretty amazing thing to.do.

My heart breaks for care home residents who are currently only allowed garden visits under a waterproof canopy. That’s if they are fit to leave the building. How is that going to work if we don’t get to move to the next phase and indoor visits allowed?
The weather is already too wet and cold for frail elderly folk to sit outdoors. I currently visit a loved one several times a week in a care home. I only do window visits as a socially distanced garden visit is too upsetting for him.

There’s an old Scottish saying “what’s for ye will no go by ye”. So just get on with living your life as best you can.

I think you are doing the right thing being careful at your age. I'm 65 ,but have an autoimmune disease so have to.be extremely careful. I think we just have to wait for a vaccine. From what I'm told its a horrible virus to.catch from someone who survived it and she was young. If you put it in perspective are we as badly off as those who went through the 1918 flu epidemic or two world wars. We can do this. We are protecting our loved ones and front line staff by staying safe. That's a pretty amazing thing to.do.

It was reported in the news that a man from Hong Kong has contracted two different strains of covid. As it is a corona virus like colds and flu, it will presumably mutate, so we will never be free of it and no doubt, as with flu, a new vaccine will have to be developed each year. This news will surely help people decide how they wish to live their lives.

Agree with Luckygirl that we need to be aware of the risk of third or fourth hand infection and to be careful of who we associate with.

Having said that, I have been grateful for various garden meetings with WI and U3A friends which were low risk and very good for my mental health. The family poses a higher risk because they are out and about so doubt we shall see them for a while.

growstuff

I wish people would stop talking about "courage" and "fear".

I don't choose to stay at home because I'm fearful or lack courage. I choose to stay at home because I've assessed the risks and I don't want to take more than absolutely minimal risk.

That's a rational, sensible decision and I've reorganised my life, so that I'm not unhappy.

I haven't somehow failed for lacking "courage" and being "scared".

Assess the risks for your area and personal health. If you're happy to take the risk, go for it. If not, accept it and find something to occupy yourself.

I completely agree with growstuff. There is a lot of talk about just getting-on with your life. If you ignore the evidence, you may not have a life to get on with. I prefer to be realistic than to hide my head in the sand.

There is no such thing as being to save . Have people not learnt anything . Since these people gathered on the beach with no social distancing , has the rise in Corona cases not gone up . Allowing movement between different countries , has allowed the virus to be easily spread again . Those who think they are better than everyone else and not wearing masks in , indoor places . I wear a mask to protect them but they don't wear one to protect me . If we all kept to the social distancing rules and all wore face mask in public , we would all be doing our bit against the virus . Until we are all on the same page this virus is aloud to take hold and dictate our life's .

Sparklefizz

But many people who did not need ventilators are still suffering chronic fatigue, breathlessness and other nasty effects following having Covid in March so I disagree with this comment ....
That surely shows how the virus is far less of a threat, provided we're all sensible of course.

After a horrible virus in 1989, I went on to develop M.E. and am still suffering 31 years later, so I don't under-estimate Covid-19 and its possible after-effects.

I didn't intend to suggest that the virus is any less virulent, but that it is being managed better.

We have just bought two outdoor heaters to install on our balcony. Hopefully will then still be able to sit outside on autumn evenings and entertain friends. I have been inside restaurants and pubs but much prefer to be outside if we can.

Previous post was for Aggie! I’m not very good at this....

I understand your concern about your physical health, but none of us know how long we will have to live under these conditions, so what effect will it have on your mental health. I have multiple health problems, and have just come out of high risk sheltering, but we will be sensible, and abide by the guidelines. You might find it more comfortable if you ask guests to wear masks, even have hand sanitiser available, knowing your concerns, I am sure they will agree. After they leave, wipe down any surfaces they may have touched. As time goes on your concerns will probably lessen, and you will ease up. I am certainly not telling you to ignore your anxiety, anyone who has suffered from it, knows that it is easier said than done. Good luck to you, I hope you work things out.

Haha. Me too!