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Coronavirus

Dreading the winter without garden visits.

(92 Posts)
NotTooOld Sun 23-Aug-20 22:21:49

DH and I are still being very careful as we are both over 70 and I am asthmatic. We've got through the summer ok with strictly garden visits to and from friends. Now the weather is on the change I'm starting to wonder how we will get through the winter without seeing friends or family at all. Garden visits won't work in cold or wet weather. I know the government says two households may meet indoors but we're not prepared to take that risk, especially with the R number on the rise. And now today Chris Whitty says we should not count on getting a vaccine before winter 2021/22. Are we being too careful?

BlueBelle Sun 23-Aug-20 22:37:38

You have two choices as I see it you either accept that this virus is going to be around for a long long time and live your life as normally as possibly with maybe more rigorous washing, (that is of course unless you’re in a hot spot)
or else you stay in being afraid and probably harm your mental health
I have chosen the former and live my life entirely normally If my area becomes a hot spot I ll have to batten down for a bit but until that happens I m out and about, back at work and living my life which is fairly humdrum anyway, as it was

I think fear is the bigger killer
I too am in my mid 70 s

B9exchange Sun 23-Aug-20 22:54:07

I fully agree with you BlueBelle, it has been reported today that the UK citizens are far more scared than any other country, and that is so sad.

I think either you follow the guidance, and that is what it is, not a legal requirement, or you don't. If you do, then there is no reason at all not to have your friends in your house, sitting six feet apart. The risk has been judged to be so small, why not try it? If you get into a car, you are at a bigger risk of having an accident, but that doesn't stop us, so please do have the courage to try.

Esspee Sun 23-Aug-20 22:54:10

I feel that for sanity alone you need to consider meeting family and friends indoors and doing as much as you can to get back to your normal, pre Covid life.
I’m in my 70s too and very conscious that I don’t have too many years left so I can’t afford to put life on hold. Every year gets more and more precious as you age.

growstuff Sun 23-Aug-20 23:23:52

I wish people would stop talking about "courage" and "fear".

I don't choose to stay at home because I'm fearful or lack courage. I choose to stay at home because I've assessed the risks and I don't want to take more than absolutely minimal risk.

That's a rational, sensible decision and I've reorganised my life, so that I'm not unhappy.

I haven't somehow failed for lacking "courage" and being "scared".

Assess the risks for your area and personal health. If you're happy to take the risk, go for it. If not, accept it and find something to occupy yourself.

maddyone Sun 23-Aug-20 23:53:14

Agree with growstuff about this. Everyone has to assess the risks for themselves and anyone else living in their household, and move forward from there. Some people will to choose to take only the very minimum of risks, because they feel safer and therefore happier doing that. Other people will choose to follow the guidance, and go out more, socialise more, maybe go to a restaurant or a family member’s house, and do their own shopping. Those people have assessed their risk, and decided to get a bit more back to normal, hopefully taking the recommended precautions such as mask wearing (actually a legal requirement in a shop) hand washing and sanitising, social distancing etc.
Everyone now has to make their own decisions about how to proceed, but we should remember that many people have no choice because they have got to go back to work, and of course others have worked all the way through.
If we’re retired, we have choice, not everyone does.

Whitewavemark2 Mon 24-Aug-20 03:21:46

growstuff

I wish people would stop talking about "courage" and "fear".

I don't choose to stay at home because I'm fearful or lack courage. I choose to stay at home because I've assessed the risks and I don't want to take more than absolutely minimal risk.

That's a rational, sensible decision and I've reorganised my life, so that I'm not unhappy.

I haven't somehow failed for lacking "courage" and being "scared".

Assess the risks for your area and personal health. If you're happy to take the risk, go for it. If not, accept it and find something to occupy yourself.

Yep! That is what I’ve done.

Franbern Mon 24-Aug-20 08:50:00

Like Bluebelle, I refuse to live whatever time I have left (I am nearly 80 yrs old), as a virtual prisoner.
At present there are far more deaths per hundred thousand population from flu and pneuomonia - but even these are lower than seasonal average.
Checked my local area figures - 2 deaths last week, 3 covid cases per hundred thousand population - no figures for mental health disorders excascerbated by this fear pandemic.
Yes, each person must do what they feel comfortable with but when people come on here expressing their concerns about meeting other people in their own homes, then they must expect many of us to tell them to get on with their lives.
Have people in your home - get everyone to wash their hands when entering. Open a few windows - live and enjoy yourself

MaggieTulliver Mon 24-Aug-20 08:56:07

Agree with everything that’s been said OP and Franbern’s post is excellent. The risk is tiny and each person needs to make their own risk assessment and take responsibility. Surely you don’t want to live as a prisoner for the foreseeable future?

Charleygirl5 Mon 24-Aug-20 09:09:06

I have been indoors for months- going out shopping only when I have to. The only people I have had a conversation with face to face for since March have been the till staff. I am in my late 70's and have no family.

Next weekend I am meeting a friend for lunch for the first time for many months. We will both remain careful but I cannot stay indoors for another year.

Ellianne Mon 24-Aug-20 09:25:24

I'm always one to think outside the box in a resourceful way and in my mind I've rigged up the house incase we have to resort to visitors outside again. Have you got an integral garage with an area you could put some chairs and a coffee table in? We can talk from the kitchen to ours and I've bought a pretty screen to divide it. Have you got bifold or patio doors where you can attach an awning with sides? Our youngsters love sitting in ours when it is raining. I have bought a patio heater should it be cold. I am never going back to a time when we don't see anyone at home, unless of course I need to quarantine. Like Franbern, my motto is live and enjoy.

loopyloo Mon 24-Aug-20 09:31:19

Ellianne. That's good thinking . I might bring my greenhouse back from the allotment and use it as shelter in the garden . Can be well ventilated and heated.
And friends can still come for coffee.

Witzend Mon 24-Aug-20 09:33:18

Where did you see or read that, @b9exchange?

Frankly I don’t believe it. Around here, at least, aside from the masks, most people would seem to be carrying on much as pre-virus and so many - of all ages - are apparently not too bothered about social distancing.

aggie Mon 24-Aug-20 09:34:53

I’m over 80 and taking sensible precautions, I hope to live long enough for my lot to get fed up with me , rather than miss me 😏

Oopsminty Mon 24-Aug-20 09:36:32

Some of us are more risk-averse than others

Do what makes you feel happiest, NotTooOld

It matter not what anyone on a forum says

Do what is right for you

varian Mon 24-Aug-20 13:19:30

I don't think the winter will be easy for any of us, especially those who live alone. We should try to be well informed about the risks and decide how best to balance the risk of infection with other factors, then do what we feel comfortable with.

mbmb Mon 24-Aug-20 13:26:29

I live alone, in a flat with no garden so my opportunities for socialising have been very limited. In any case, my DC and their families live a considerable distance away. Furthermore I am now in a Greater Manchester lockdown area. I have not been to a cafe, pub or restaurant since last February. However, I am quite content with lots of facetime and Zoom, and plenty of phone calls. I am a bit fed up with people who don't stick to the guidelines and in so doing put the rest of us at risk. We're not being asked to do anything heroic - just sit on the sofa and watch Netflix.

NotTooOld Mon 24-Aug-20 13:33:08

Thank you all for your comments.

Grandmafrench Mon 24-Aug-20 13:34:42

Well done Ellianne - defeat the problem with a "Cunning Plan". Most of us could manage to create a new social space if we put our minds to it - if we've not done so already. Even a hallway, summerhouse, garage: somewhere which is easy to air and sanitise and which would enable us to see a couple of friends or family whatever the weather.

Jaxjacky Mon 24-Aug-20 13:38:25

We’ve just bought a patio heater for this reason Ellianne we have had GC stay over one night, all SD in place to give my daughter a break. No one else has been in the house, apart from gas service, in a separate room. Daughter, key worker, and children back in school next week, so will be more wary.
Each to their own comfort zone; I personally believe guidelines are to be followed, trusting people to do so.

BlueBelle Mon 24-Aug-20 13:39:27

oppsminty
it matters not what anyone on the forum thinks what a daft thing to say as the opening posts asks ‘are we being too careful’ so then we answer !!!

mbmb I m sorry you re fed up with people like me ..... I ve done NOTHING against advice I go out every day I go to work I eat out with friends and I visit my family and unless you are in a lockdown area (You obviously are now) these are all totally valid things to be doing I haven’t broken any rules or guidelines I wear a mask when I go in a shop
Why do you think pubs cafes Gyms even cinemas have been opened I m sorry but I m not going to spend my later years sitting on the sofa watching a Netflix (which I haven’t got anyway😂) That’s your choice but not mine

maddyone Mon 24-Aug-20 13:39:39

Please remember mbmb, that huge numbers of people do not have the luxury of deciding to ‘sit on the sofa and watch Netflix.’ As retired people, many of us on Gransnet can pretty much isolate ourselves if we wish to, but many people have been told to go back to work and others have worked all the way through.
We are lucky, we can choose to totally isolate, semi isolate, or go out and about but take all precautions. As a generation we are blessed in that way.

mbmb Mon 24-Aug-20 14:48:33

Just to clarify, those of us in lockdown who are not breaking the rules which state that no one can socialise with another household, either indoors or in a private garden are getting cheesed off with reports of the police having to deal with raves, parties and so on. I feel sorry for them - only last week they were bombarded with missiles when they tried to disperse a crowd. The lockdown can theoretically last for six months.

B9exchange Mon 24-Aug-20 14:49:47

I have to confess it was a Twitter feed pointing to this article www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1278346/uk-coronavirus-news-cambridge-university-survey-covid-19-death-infection-rates but I do believe it. Friends coming back from other countries (and I have a DS and his family living on the continent) all say we are far more uptight than anywhere else. Other countries take all the precautions, but they are just getting on with life.

Oopsminty Mon 24-Aug-20 14:59:51

* oppsminty
it matters not what anyone on the forum thinks what a daft thing to say as the opening posts asks ‘are we being too careful’ so then we answer !!!*

So many exclamation marks negates your rather rude comment.

And it's Oops. If you insist on abbreviating my name, do get it right.

As you will see people on this forum think it's a good idea/bad idea. People are being too careful/not careful enough

You will rarely get 100% agreement.

So I will carry on saying it matters not, because it's true

Just like your comment matters not

And neither does this one of mine