Refusing to wear a mask

Our son who is a similar age to yours is over the top on sticking to rules. He lives in Hertfordshire and worries about living close to Level 2 areas. We are in Devon and I suspect though we plan to visit in November having not seen them since last December he may well call off our visit as he protects his only son above all else.
You can't win and hard not to be cross with some people's behaviour but it doesn't help. Except many of us are very sympathetic.
The problem with your son being in America is Donald Trump's claim of it being nothing in the same way when Dominic Cummings here got away with flouting rules and people think so why can't I.

Not familiar with U.S rules concerning who should and who is exempt from wearing a mask then I feel what ever you say to your son may fall on stony ground.

QUOTE....From this and your previous post, you sound rather aggressive. I'd have got off the bus too!

i challenge you to come to birmingham and find me a bus that isnt full of passengers not wearing masks....because you wont find one

quizqueen

Masks are the equivalent of a placebo. If they work, why are cases increasing!

Simple answer Quizqueen. Not everyone wears them.

PLUS
Not everyone washes their hands or uses sanitisers.
Not everyone socially distances.
Not everyone keeps the rule of 6

Personally I would say to anyone, family or not.
That’s fine if you don’t follow the rules. But if you get seriously ill don’t expect any special or life saving treatment.
If you are exposing yourself to the virus you have to consider all the other people you see or run into. It’s a very selfish attitude.

Average age of death from Covid is 82.4 years (more than life expectancy) most cases of death are in the over 75s then followed by the over 70s unless you have a very serious underlying health condition. Face masks at best may be reduce virus transmission by 7 % and that's if they are worn for only 10 minutes and thrown away. If they get damp or wet from rain or are worn for more than 10 mins ...due to breathing and dampness from perspiration the masks are useless. I suggest you don't get yourself worked up about this issue.

Don't say anything. We all have opinions on mask wearing (I would go anywhere without mine) but he is a grown man who has a right to his opinion wrong as we may think it is. I would be more concerned about the holidays you have planned with him and would need reassurance at the time that he (and his family) are COVID free, although I think the holiday to the USA is unlikely.

WOODMOUSE49

quizqueen

Masks are the equivalent of a placebo. If they work, why are cases increasing!

Simple answer Quizqueen. Not everyone wears them.

PLUS
Not everyone washes their hands or uses sanitisers.
Not everyone socially distances.
Not everyone keeps the rule of 6

simple.... loads of people including ones that clearly have no exemption...are not wearing masks... The only way you could say that masks are not working ..is if EVERY man woman and child were wearing them

I agree with your son, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
We are not being told the whole truth!!!

ive been reporting NX drivers to the NX site for months.. About 4 months ago i mentioned to a driver that there are lots of passengers not wearing masks.. He told me there is a yellow button on the ticket screen marked No Face Covering..which drivers are supposed to press every time they let a passenger on without a mask...Ive been reporting complaints to the NX site giving them bus route numbers, names of the stops and times as the drivers are not pressing the button .Ive had responses back from NX saying my complaints have been forwarded to the relevant garages for them to investigate why the drivers are not pressing the button ...as drivers have been told they must press it when they let a non mask wearer on .. NX told me they have a travel team targeting areas of high non mask use.NX told me couple of months ago that so far they have removed 350 passengers from buses that were not wearing masks and couldnt PROVE they had an exemption..

I would tell him you are wearing your mask when you go out as even young and healthy people have the long Covid symptoms.

Attitudes do seem to be a bit different in the US. I was talking to a US grandma friend on WhatsApp and was bemoaning the fact that we couldn’t see the grandchildren (early in lockdown). She replied that they weren’t supposed to either, but she “didn’t go along with that”. I didn’t comment but perhaps the same goes for the masks - they are just not encouraged to wear them as much?? I think if the subject came up I might just say that he may see it differently if he lived here and leave it at that.

Difficult situation. However perhaps if he reads this information (just in from Gov.UK today) it may concentrate his mind.

The link is all about long-Covid and how it affects HIS age group.....

It's a long link and I hope it will work for you.

www.gov.uk/government/news/health-secretary-warns-of-long-term-effects-of-covid-19-as-new-film-released?utm_source=c0dc82e9-886c-43df-8da5-a615494030e0&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=govuk-notifications&utm_content=immediate

Saying nothing is better otherwise it will cause bad feeling which isn’t good especially as you live so far from him.

The Queen didn't wear a mask as the people she met were all cleared before she met them.

Just say that you disagree with him and let it go, unless you are willing to risk losing the good relationship you clearly have with him. The other day my own DS reminded me that he was in his 40s so able to make his own decisions.

Taliya

Average age of death from Covid is 82.4 years (more than life expectancy) most cases of death are in the over 75s then followed by the over 70s unless you have a very serious underlying health condition. Face masks at best may be reduce virus transmission by 7 % and that's if they are worn for only 10 minutes and thrown away. If they get damp or wet from rain or are worn for more than 10 mins ...due to breathing and dampness from perspiration the masks are useless. I suggest you don't get yourself worked up about this issue.

Have you the link to support the 7% figure and how much consensus there is around that figure? My understanding from reading a wide range of peer reviewed papers is that the situation is multi factorial and no one figure or study provides a definitive figure.

I have a 43 year old daughter who has the severest asthma ( hosp. 34times so far)....intensive care twice. She was shielded for the beginning g of Covid , her kids had to go live with dad for two months..she was very lonely. Thank goodness she had friends to fetch and carry and FaceTime to stay in touch. If she ever said she wasn’t going to wear a mask while out and about now , I think I’d slap her! But luckily she was bought up with good plain common sense.

in birmingham you have 2 choices...you either get on buses and trains full of passengers not wearing masks....or you walk for miles and miles and miles

I would say nothing. I don’t see it as related to his upbringing ...so try to distance yourself from his decision. There are lots of views about wearing masks. I don’t think it’s as straightforward as we are led to believe. In any case, he’s an adult and needs to make his own decisions in life.

Different rules and attitude between countries and when you have a president in the USA that refused to wear a mask and also gave a strong indication at least until he himself was diagnosed that they weren't necessary, you will be running a losing battle!
I think that the best thing is to say as little as possible - it is well known that it is an airborne virus and how it is spread - your son is a grown adult and able to make his own decisions, whatever you believe.
If and when you two meet up over Christmas, just continue to wear your mask(s) and if the grandchildren ask why, just simply explain that it is because you feel either safer or more comfortable to do so. If they then ask why daddy isn't wearing one, he can explain his own theory!

Esspee Mon 19-Oct-20 14:57:47
My son who lives in the USA shocked me yesterday by stating on WhatsApp that he is now refusing to wear a mask.

He is an adult and can make up his own mind. If you are worried about his reaction, say nothing. He will probably know you disapprove anyway.

I would say nothing, he is on another continent and unlikely to infect you.
You have to be careful who you talk to, I have been told " it's alright for you you'll be dead soon but we have to live with this for a long time "

Personally I wouldn’t say anything, ask yourself will it make any difference and will he change his mind. I don’t think it is worth the possibility of the upset especially as you say he’s a good son and good at keeping in touch. It’s his opinion as an adult so I’d just respect it. I have friends who feel the same as your son and others that are rigorous with the rules. Each to there own.

Having spent a year in the USA, I know that attitudes there are very different. Also he is a man, and I suspect that men are more likely to take a "macho" attitude to illness risk - maybe because they are used to having a woman to look after them. Women, who do the caring, are more careful.