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Refusing to wear a mask

(247 Posts)
Esspee Mon 19-Oct-20 14:57:47

My son who lives in the USA shocked me yesterday by stating on WhatsApp that he is now refusing to wear a mask.

I have always had a habit of saying exactly what I think but OH has asked me to think long and hard about my response so as not to alienate my son.

Can any of you fellow gransnetters please help me word a reply to succinctly make my feelings known without getting his back up in the hope of making him reconsider? He feels that Covid 19 has been overhyped and as so few people have serious repercussions it should be treated like flu and everyone needs to get back to work. He opposes the restrictions that have been brought in.

He is early 40s, father to my only grandchildren, and living the dream with a gorgeous home, trophy wife, top job etc.
He was brought up to show empathy, be socially responsible, caring and level headed.

We were expecting to spend Christmas with them and in February meet up again for a family holiday in the Caribbean where he was brought up. Neither of these events are now likely to happen but I am mentioning them to show that we are on good terms.

He has been wonderful about keeping in touch and facilitates my beautiful granddaughters’ regular updates to grandma about items of major importance such as wobbly teeth.

I do tend to overreact when my children behave contrary to their upbringing.

andymorris Fri 23-Oct-20 10:49:17

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Galaxy Fri 23-Oct-20 10:50:23

Crikey it must be really stressful being on a bus at the moment and to add to that stress you have someone like Andy next to you.

andymorris Fri 23-Oct-20 10:52:47


Why do people think putting FACT in capital letters makes it true. Bless.

ask eespee why their LOL is LOL and not lol

Esspee Fri 23-Oct-20 10:53:55


ive commented this already i think... For example on the 6 route birmingham to soliull and back again ... The bus goes digbeth sparkbrook sparkhill hall green shirley solihull. On the shirley hall green solihull parts of the route virtually everyone is wearing a mask... But when it goes through sparkhill and sparkbrook, which are largely asian areas...the majority of passengers getting on and off in those areas are asians not wearing masks.. Thats not being racist...its stating a FACT

Andy. I expect there is a BNP website somewhere that would welcome your comments.

Galaxy Fri 23-Oct-20 10:54:02


Galaxy Fri 23-Oct-20 10:54:47

Sorry that was to Andy's request of me not to your comment esspee.

rafichagran Fri 23-Oct-20 11:07:27

Andymorris you come across both sexist and racist. I have a Bame partner who is always complaining about people on buses or in shops not wearing masks, but he never makes any distinction about their sex or ethnicity.
Do you go out deliberately to confront people? You give the impression that you enjoy upsetting people, does it make you feel superior?
To be honest you sound bored and get your kicks causing trouble.

SueDonim Fri 23-Oct-20 12:38:50

Anyone else got visions of ‘Blakey’ when reading these bus anecdotes? ‘I ‘ate you, Butler!’

Tweedle24 Fri 23-Oct-20 14:47:07



Is there a reason in these bus anecdotes to state that alleged mask-offenders are ‘coloured’? Is it relevant to the story? hmm

Well done SueDonim for calling out andymorris on his totally unacceptable racist comment.
I was trawling through the responses I had not yet seen and was appalled to read that.
This is the 20th century andy It was a male person you were referring to. What possible reason is there for referring to his skin colour.

Espee andSueDonnin I looked through those other posts and that is not the only reference to race. There was “coloured girl“and “Turkish men” mentioned earlier too.

Not necessary and certainly unacceptable. Gransnet is better than this.

Lucca Fri 23-Oct-20 15:00:26

Is this a record for posts deleted in one thread ?

SueDonim Fri 23-Oct-20 15:09:24

Oh, are they being deleted? That’s good!

M0nica Fri 23-Oct-20 18:22:08

Well, in the part of the world I live in, almost everyone is wearing masks regardless of any demographic, whether that be age, ethnic origins and, for all I know, shoe size and inside leg measurement.

NannyB2604 Wed 28-Oct-20 16:56:05

I think the attitude to mask wearing seems to be different in different countries/cultures. In South Korea, where DS has lived for several years it's long been considered polite to wear a mask if you have even a sniffle, to minimise the chance of passing it on to others, so for them it's no longer an issue. Also, over there they're used to doing what they're told by those in authority, a totally different culture to the one in the U.S. (and, to an extent, here in the U.K.). It might bear pointing out, that over in East and South-East Asia, they have kept their infection and death rates very low (so far, fewer than 500 deaths in SoKo) - could it be due in part to these attitudes? Probably best not to mention China though, given that the virus originated there!

TruthSeeker48 Tue 10-Nov-20 08:03:30

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suziewoozie Tue 10-Nov-20 08:14:35

Quotes previously deleted post.

Elegran Tue 10-Nov-20 08:56:43

My impression of the meaning of "trophy wife" is more like Esspee's. Perhaps the meaning has changed since our youth? It used to mean that the husband had moved into a far better financial and social sphere than where he started out in life, and "married up" to someone classier in all respects than he would once have aspired to - a beautiful, confident, capable (and expensive to maintain) hostess. Now it seems she is just a beautiful ornament, kept that way by the obligatory expensive maintenance.

Grannynannywanny Tue 10-Nov-20 09:12:57

Ah that old chestnut again TruthSeeker48. Hospital staff and other key workers who wear masks for 12hrs a day think it’s hilarious that some folk can’t wear one to go in a shop in case it causes brain damage ?

Elegran Tue 10-Nov-20 10:29:36

Perhaps some people are worried that they don't have enough brain cells as it is, so they don't dare risk it?

Grannynannywanny Tue 10-Nov-20 10:48:40

Elegran I think you might be on to something there

prestbury Tue 10-Nov-20 15:06:20


Ah that old chestnut again TruthSeeker48. Hospital staff and other key workers who wear masks for 12hrs a day think it’s hilarious that some folk can’t wear one to go in a shop in case it causes brain damage ?

I think in such cases that bus has already passed

Roses Tue 10-Nov-20 15:15:06

ANDY!!!!!!Quick here's the bus make sure you get on !!!