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Stop moaning and thank your lucky stars!

(124 Posts)
PollyDolly Fri 27-Nov-20 16:56:30

I shall no doubt get shot down for this but quite frankly, I don't care!
There have been so many posts and comments complaining about not seeing family over Christmas..........time to stop and think!
I have just heard that several of my ex-work colleagues are in intensive care and are not expected to recover from Covid. They all work either for the NHS frontline or in the support sectors. They won't see Christmas, their families won't want to celebrate it either. This scenario is repeated nationwide with people from all walks of life.
Covid does not recognise Christmas or holidays or loved ones or families........it's a killer, it wrecks lives and tears families apart!
So please, stop bleating on about being on your own or not being included in someone's bubble or not hugging the grandkids at Christmas........when you wake up on Christmas morning just be thankful that you are alive! Many won't be!
Rant over!

growstuff Fri 27-Nov-20 20:09:07

Lucretzia Where is your evidence that "there are people committing suicide in record numbers"?

There is no evidence for this. Due to the time taken to formally register a suicide death, official figures on recent suicides do not yet exist.

merlotgran Fri 27-Nov-20 20:10:35

Lucretzia

It is heartbreaking, Moonlight113

There are people committing suicide in record numbers

My friend has Stage IV cancer and wants to see her family as she knows very well she won't make next year.

It's great that so many of us can thank our lucky stars but this is akin to telling someone with clinical depression to get a grip

Lots of people are in dire straits. Health wise, financially, emotionally. Job losses. Deaths of friends and family.

Allow people to bleat, ( awful word) now and again.

You don't know what other people are going through

And neither do you, Lucretzia

Callistemon Fri 27-Nov-20 20:12:03

In response to the OP , it can be difficult, as each person's misery is personal to them.

It is like saying to someone with clinical depression 'Cheer up, there are people worse off than you' which is not helpful.

growstuff Fri 27-Nov-20 20:12:26

Snap MissAdventure. You're spot on. There is absolutely no evidence.

Jayt Fri 27-Nov-20 20:19:08

Let’s not worry about what we can’t have and rather be thankful for everything we DO have. We are alive, many are gone; we have food and shelter, many do not. I believe we will come through this if we are sensible and stay at home as much as possible, meet as few people as possible, wash our hands and keep everything as clean as we can. Let’s do everything we can to minimise the pressure on the NHS and it’s staff. I would love it if everyone could be safe, a forlorn hope perhaps but we can try to do our bit - it won’t be forever.

Callistemon Fri 27-Nov-20 20:19:51

Lucretzia is correct in that suicide rates have gone up.
Whether or not this is due to the threat of COVID is not known but social isolation could play a part.

With the impact of the pandemic this year taking a huge toll on people’s mental wellbeing, we should be even more concerned,” said the charity’s chief executive, Ruth Sutherland.
Samaritans

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/01/male-suicide-rate-england-wales-covid-19

aonk Fri 27-Nov-20 20:22:52

I do agree with the OP. We should look at the wider picture and be grateful for what we have. I accept the situation but forgive me if I don’t put a brave face on. I’m fed up with people talking about meeting up next summer. Of course that would be lovely but it can’t replace Christmas for me. Anyway my family will all be off on their various holidays so that won’t happen for me. My relationship with my GC which is beyond price has deteriorated greatly during the pandemic and I will never get that lost time back. So yes I’ll do the right thing but no don’t expect me to put a smile on.

Nadateturbe Fri 27-Nov-20 20:24:59

There are some people for whom Christmas will be very hard. But its true, a lot of people are moaning instead of being thankful and just getting on with it!
There are also people who are lonely all the time. Perhaps when things are under control we will try to do more for them.

Lucretzia Fri 27-Nov-20 20:26:07

merlotgran

Lucretzia

It is heartbreaking, Moonlight113

There are people committing suicide in record numbers

My friend has Stage IV cancer and wants to see her family as she knows very well she won't make next year.

It's great that so many of us can thank our lucky stars but this is akin to telling someone with clinical depression to get a grip

Lots of people are in dire straits. Health wise, financially, emotionally. Job losses. Deaths of friends and family.

Allow people to bleat, ( awful word) now and again.

You don't know what other people are going through

And neither do you, Lucretzia

Hallelujah!

That is exactly my point, merlotgran

Smileless2012 Fri 27-Nov-20 20:30:47

Having read the thread I was thinking the same thing Callistemon. Some cope better with the problems that come their way better than others.

A Christmas without AC and GC may be easier for some to deal with than others so if people want to moan, who is anyone to say that they shouldn't or make them feel guilty for doing so?

I'm sorry to hear about your ex colleagues PollyDolly but I really don't see what is to be gained at this time, by attempting to shut down those who for whatever reason, are finding life particularly difficult at this time.

People post here on GN for all sorts of reasons including support. If you don't want to read posts from people "bleating on" then don't, but don't make those who feel they need too, feel guilty.

TerriBull Fri 27-Nov-20 20:31:20

Ellianne

gringrin
such as not having ball games with the children, opening windows, I think the advice is all wrong
Sorry, I had to laugh TerriBull. That advice is all wrong! I think they said board games NOT ball games! Though my DGS would love a game of football in the lounge! wink

oops silly me, misheard that one grin and didn't even occur to me that I had!, I think I was remembering some past mild weathered Christmases past when a kick about in the garden with a ball, (not me I was cooking the turkey) featured during the day.

Luckygirl Fri 27-Nov-20 20:32:30

PollyDolly - I am sorry to hear about your colleagues.

I do agree that we have to bite the bullet and do/not do what is needed to try and keep as many people as possible safe.

I am planning a zoomy Christmas on my own even though my family will be just up the road. I do not know why they are all getting together - it seems crazy given the risks. But I guess younger people do not think in quite the same way.

I do agree that it is tedious when people grumble about restrictions when it is for their own good; and also agree that this Christmas relaxation could cost us all dear in lives and illness. It seems so unnecessary. The rules should apply whatever day it might be.

Barmeyoldbat Fri 27-Nov-20 20:32:57

Excellent post, its just one day and all this fuss over who goes where and what eat etc. drives me mad. Its just one day and why meet family in th winter with colds, flu and Covid always around. Much healthier to meet in the summer or spring.
Just for the record every third Christmas we would have my parents around for Christmas dinner, we also use to have dinner with friends and sometimes we just took the phone off the hook and stayed at home on our own. After working long hours all we wanted to do was be by ourselves.

Callistemon Fri 27-Nov-20 20:36:40

People post here on GN for all sorts of reasons including support. If you don't want to read posts from people "bleating on" then don't, but don't make those who feel they need too, feel guilty.

Well said, *Smileless^.

Perhaps there is no-one else to bleat to in their lives. Or, if there is, they do not understand or have their own problems to deal with.
That is why there are organisations like The Samaritans, Silverline, Childline.

rosecarmel Fri 27-Nov-20 20:36:49

I've no real issue with moaning or complaining- Or people expressing their disappointment, sadness or loneliness- Sometimes crying, and ranting and raving gives one an extra boost to carry on-

Of course it's equally as important to thank our lucky stars, to practice gratitude-

It's one thing to bitch about having to wear a mask, while wearing one- But it's something else entirely to bitch about masks and not put one on- Ever-

That said ..
Millions of Americans are showing their ass- They're choosing to travel, to gather, no matter the setting, from church to weddings to pubs to parties and so forth- Its as if they can't stand their own company and be alone-

Its like witnessing a massive, collective mental health crisis on a grand scale-

rosecarmel Fri 27-Nov-20 20:46:19

Oh .. And television .. They're doing a terrible job incorporating the pandemic into their new seasons- Abysmal- Having to live with the pandemic in reality and then watch their nonchalant navigation on the screen isn't going to win them any awards-

Moonlight113 Fri 27-Nov-20 20:48:21

It's just that, knowing there are people far far worse off than you are yourself, just doesn't make it any easier really. It just can't. We'd need to be saints.

AnotherLiz Fri 27-Nov-20 20:49:29

Well said Polly Dolly. I totally agree.
Sorry to read about your ex work colleagues

MissAdventure Fri 27-Nov-20 21:04:02

Provisional data, also published by the ONS, showed there were 6.9 suicide deaths per 100,000 people in England between April and June, during the peak of the coronavirus pandemic. This was the equivalent of 845 registered deaths, the lowest of any quarter since 2001, the ONS added.

It's far from simple.

MissAdventure Fri 27-Nov-20 21:07:40

Oh, I meant to add, that low figure may have been affected by the whole covid lockdown, and reporting and registering deaths taking longer.

Hetty58 Fri 27-Nov-20 21:15:07

PollyDolly, I completely agree with everything you say. We are (mostly) grown ups. We understand the risks and there is only one logical response - isolate as much as possible.

Yes, like you, I find some comments pretty annoying. Some people just come across as spoilt, selfish children rather than responsible adults.

OK, this year's been utter rubbish but, for those of us alive and well, write off a 'normal' Christmas too. Wait a few more months. The end is in sight, after all!

Hetty58 Fri 27-Nov-20 21:39:01

Moonlight113, you said:

'I think it must be heartbreaking to actually be alone at Christmas when you have been used to being part of a family group.'

No, not heartbreaking. I will be sad (old and all alone on the day) but it's far from the worst thing that's happened in my life. I see it differently.

Losing loved ones, helplessly watching them suffer and die - now that's truly heartbreaking!

How could I live with myself if I 'accidentally' caught the virus and passed it on - to somebody who then died?

Would my kids of grandkids ever be happy again if they infected me?

They lost their precious Dad when they were young. I brought them up, so they only have me.

Therefore, I can bravely refuse invitations, continue to isolate - and we can all relax and sleep soundly, knowing we're doing the right and safest thing. I'll see them all on Zoom - and that will do.

Moonlight113 Fri 27-Nov-20 22:12:27

Hetty58 flowers

NotTooOld Fri 27-Nov-20 22:27:49

Well said, PollyDolly. Entirely agree with you. We will be on our own this Christmas. No point in rocking the boat now when we have been keeping ourselves to ourselves since March. Also agree that Christmas is over-hyped by the media. Gets on my nerves, too. It's only a few days for goodness sake. I've just said elsewhere that Boris would have done better to say 'no mixing over Christmas'. This personal choice is all very well but it is causing a lot of angst within families.

growstuff Fri 27-Nov-20 22:45:36

Callistemon

Lucretzia is correct in that suicide rates have gone up.
Whether or not this is due to the threat of COVID is not known but social isolation could play a part.

With the impact of the pandemic this year taking a huge toll on people’s mental wellbeing, we should be even more concerned,” said the charity’s chief executive, Ruth Sutherland.
Samaritans

www.theguardian.com/society/2020/sep/01/male-suicide-rate-england-wales-covid-19

No, she's not correct. The Guardian's article is about suicides in 2019. There's an average five month delay before suicide deaths are registered.