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The neighbour

(152 Posts)
MissAdventure Thu 31-Dec-20 11:54:48

Yes, "that one", who had 14+ people at hers for christmas.

One of them (the visitors) has just told me that a very close contact of hers, who she visited a week before christmas, has died of covid, having been in hospital since Christmas eve.

She didn't think to let anyone know, and hasn't been isolating, or told anyone who was there.

dawntreader1 Fri 01-Jan-21 17:07:21

I agree with Kalu. It is this kind of behaviour that makes me despair So many of us have had to make sacrifices in order to keep ourselves and others safe. But as the older generation we do help to shape our society's attitudes and behaviour. Looks like we havn't done a very good job.

ReadyMeals Fri 01-Jan-21 17:15:09

omg please tell me this thread is a joke. How can anyone be so stupid?

CarrieAnn Fri 01-Jan-21 17:25:29

I spoke to my sister in NZ today,and because of the rigorous way they have dealt with Covid they are now Covid free and as a result were able to have a barbecue for seventeen people to celebrate the New Year,if we had been as proactive we would be in the same situation.

Nancat Fri 01-Jan-21 17:26:58

We've seen the whole gamut on Gansnet, posters who are castigated for observing the comings and goings of neighbours, but advised not to report them, the ones who post asking for vindication from peers for breaking the rules because they are, in their own opinion, a special case, and a few who brazenly say they have no intention of following any rules set by the government. Then there are the anti-vacs, blm, anti lockdown, civil liberty etc marching in close proximity, many without masks. We need the full weight of the law to be levied on all of these to protect those who do comply. The rules are not difficult to understand, unless you don't want to. As for blaming the government for U turns and changes to rules, the situation changes so rapidly that it would be impossible to set rules in stone. BJ does not have a crystal ball as far as I know, and "should have done" is very easy with hindsight. I live alone, and like most, the current situation is detrimental to my mental wellbeing, but I accept that it is the only way we can overcome this dreadful virus. However unpleasant, we need everyone to report non-adherance, the authorities to enforce the rules to the full extent, then perhaps those of us that have accepted the need for these rules will not be put at risk by those who will not comply.

hawkridge80 Fri 01-Jan-21 17:50:09

My Christmas and New Year are normally spent on a cruise to the Canaries Obviously impossible. As I have no immediate family,I could have joined my cousin.Then the tiers changed,so that was off. As I was on my own I decided to go to a restaurant. That was off.
So the past week I have spent on my own,no visitors just a few emails and phone calls. These idiots want to try what I have done,its lonely and boring.

But I am a CARER for my friend,she is 87 and needs me.
I do everything for her and all I want is to protect her from the virus.If she needs me, I go. I feel so good knowing I am helping her daily!!!

growstuff Fri 01-Jan-21 18:26:16

I've spent the last nine months on my own. The only times I've left the house are to go to the pharmacy, dentist and GP and twice I've taken the car out for the sake of the battery. I haven't even had my hair cut.

Yes, it's very lonely and but not boring (I won't let myself be bored), but while there are idiots around, I'm not going anywhere.

4xGranny Fri 01-Jan-21 18:39:55

I agree that some people are selfish and feel entitled to their freedom with no regard for others. However there are a large percentage of the population who simply cannot understand what is going on and what the rules mean. When I was a teacher of Year six for many years I taught set 2 for literacy. They found comprehension passages extremely difficult even though most of them were competent readers. These 11 year olds are now adults and I cannot believe their comprehension skills have improved much.

earnshaw Fri 01-Jan-21 18:51:01

this is why blaming the government is too easy, lets take a bit of responsibility ourselves and stop being so selfish

Genty Fri 01-Jan-21 18:56:55


this is why blaming the government is too easy, lets take a bit of responsibility ourselves and stop being so selfish

It is the governments fault, from the start of covid theyve been dishing out unclear mixed messages and doing turnarounds at the last minute! Its no wonder the natives are getting restless!

silverdragon Fri 01-Jan-21 20:22:17


this is why blaming the government is too easy, lets take a bit of responsibility ourselves and stop being so selfish

Agree entirely. Some people are using the lack of clear instructions from the government as an excuse, passing the buck as to their own responsibility towards family, friends and community.

Nannan2 Fri 01-Jan-21 20:28:17

And if these other variants of covid are NOT 'as bad ' as the original (according to gov't) then how come theres so many deaths each day??hmm

FarNorth Fri 01-Jan-21 20:32:36


I have told the person to sort out a test, pronto!!

She had phoned me for sympathy, then mentioned that the person was fine when she went round for a cuppa.

I didn't know she was doing these visits at all!
She is asking others to fetch in shopping etc, then gallavanting.


I hope you put the sh!ts up her about how she could be next.

FarNorth Fri 01-Jan-21 20:39:03


They were family and friends, and people who gave lifts, who got invited too, plus a woman from the £ shop, whose son fetched her, and ended up staying. (She invited poundshop lady so she could have a look at neighbours flat)

Granddaughter (who lives in a hostel) and some bloke who's been sleeping rough in some toilets!


Jeezo MissA they sound like some bad sitcom.
Not funny, tho.

Skweek1 Fri 01-Jan-21 20:45:19

Since around March we've been a household of 3, DS has barely seen his GF, although she's in our bubble as is MIL, although before lockdown she would meet us to do our food shopping, giving us a lift home. Despite all possible care I, DH and DS have all tested positive and I have recently spent several weeks in hospital. What is worse, MIL, 88 next week, who has not left her home at all since September, DS doing her food shopping for her while socially distancing was admitted to hospital a few days before Christmas and is still described by the staff as "not at all well" - I can't help feeling that it may be my fault, although we have all followed all the advice.

Blinko Fri 01-Jan-21 20:57:36


Maidmarion, I think many of these people just cannot get their head around the seriousness of the situation; that, in this day and age, we have a nasty, potentially deadly virus that we don’t yet have an antidote for. Therefore, rather than accepting the reality of the situation, they go into denial, clutching at all manner of straws, however improbable, such as these conspiracy theories. I expect psychologists and psychiatrists will be writing learned research papers for years to come about this. All we can do is keep away from them and hope that they don’t reap the whirlwind of the wind they have sown

Couldn't agree more. They simply cannot get it that this thing is deadly and so far, till we get the vaccine nationwide, there's no other way to protect ourselves and others, than to avoid other people. Including/especially friends and family.

Elegran Fri 01-Jan-21 21:05:22

Nannan2 The reason there are so many deaths more deaths each day could be because the variant spreads so much faster, so there are so many more infections . The seriousness of the illness and proportion of the cases that lead to deaths could be just the same as it was before.

Lorelei Sat 02-Jan-21 04:37:48

I feel for anyone who is a potential victim thanks to the outright selfish behaviour of people around them. I have seen 3 people since early February last year and am fearful that one of more of these idiots will kill me and/or my loved ones. I fall into several categories that make me highly vulnerable to catching Coronavirus if I come into contact with it. Even in our house my better half and I are sitting as far apart as is possible in our living room & a lot of the time he is in another room watching TV. We continue to disinfect everything that comes into the house and he wears gloves, masks etc when shopping or collecting my prescriptions. We have been trying so hard to keep ourselves, loved ones and strangers safe that it does make me angry that the minority are making life harder for the majority. The other day we even found ourselves discussing how, if our local hospitals continue to have limited supplies of oxygen etc it is likely I would not get any - that someone more likely to survive than me would take priority over me. Our NHS staff have been flat out for a year and many hospitals are already understaffed, under-resourced, overwhelmed and things are likely to get worse because a few selfish twats wanted a big family Xmas or New Year party.

I'm fed up with hearing comments like 'ONLY' xxx number of dead as if all those thousands of bereaved people are somehow irrelevant. How many of those deaths could have been avoided? I had to watch my beloved aunt's funeral online (not a Covid-related death but still horrible not being able to attend a service). Both of my parents and his parents are ill and vulnerable. Our lovely neighbour (who, like me, needs to be shielded) has had 5 Covid deaths among her friends and family, and her son and daughter-in-law are currently in hospital with Coronavirus fighting for their lives.

All any of us can do is take as many precautions as possible, reduce any risk factors and hope to avoid infectious selfish people. To those of you that have been exposed to risky people I hope you haven't caught it from them. To the many unsung 'heroes' keeping the country running, and to the many people supporting the NHS effort (whether as medical, administrative or cleaning staff, suppliers etc) - thank you - some of us do appreciate the work you continue to do and accept you may end up in the unenviable position of having to make difficult choices with things like who to prioritise for treatment, for ventilators, oxygen, drugs, vaccines etc.

We will both be updating our wills ASAP. Look after yourselves and those close to you while you can. Here's hoping everybody will be more sensible, safer and less selfish this year. I hate to say it but this looks like it will be a long time before life resembles 'normal' again - if it ever does.

mumstheword86 Sat 02-Jan-21 08:25:56

Did any one see the Newcyesrs Eve coverage from ?Edinburgh no one was wearing a mask wonder what Nicola sturgeon had to think about that she’s alwsys spouting one about how tough she keeps her country under control

Lucca Sat 02-Jan-21 08:28:57


Did any one see the Newcyesrs Eve coverage from ?Edinburgh no one was wearing a mask wonder what Nicola sturgeon had to think about that she’s alwsys spouting one about how tough she keeps her country under control

She does her best. Why the aggression ?
And I’m sure she’d be disappointed.

Oldwoman70 Sat 02-Jan-21 08:48:44

Following (yet another) anti-lockdown demonstration in the nearby city there were pictures of the "protesters" in the local paper - one person commented the placards should have read "I don't care if I kill my grandmother - I will not be slightly inconvenienced". Why can't people understand that the rules apply to everyone and just because they are currently fit and healthy doesn't make them immune.

Like many GNs I also spent Christmas and New Year alone, only receiving two separate socially distanced visits from 2 in-laws.

Franbern Sat 02-Jan-21 09:08:10

I am wondering if part of the problem is that people just take on board exactly as things are - not doing any form of self-safety assessment.

I know of a woman, in her seventies, with such severe respitory problems that she has to carry oxygen with her at all times. She was in a tier 2 area, and went to Bingo two days before Christmas. Then on Christmas day she spent with her son who has Cystic Fibrosis and his wife and 8-month old baby. Now, all of them - that lady, her husband and her son, wife and baby have all tested positive.

She find sit hard to see what she did was wrong, as the Bingo Hall was legally permitted to open and run sessions, then it must have been okay for her to attend. She is now pretty ill, although, fortunately, none of the rest of them are.

I have, throughout, continued to work on my own self-assessment, working well within the rules, but not going OTT. No, I do not wash my shopping ( and have continued throughout to do my own weekly supermarket shop - at a very quiet time), do not isoalate and wash packages and post, etc. But even when cinemas re-opened with strict distancing, decided that was a step too far for me.

As has bdeen said, comprehension of the ever--changing rules does cause many of the problems, and people think if it open then it is okay for everyone.

Shropshirelass Sat 02-Jan-21 09:30:49

This is awful and reinforces why we shouldn’t be getting together with people. This is exactly how the virus spreads. Unbelievable. The virus only spreads due to people’s behaviour, this is why we are in such a dreadful position.

Gwenisgreat1 Thu 07-Jan-21 14:31:29

Someone from my neighbours family had posted a picture of 14 of them at Christmas. My neighbour is supposed to live alone - she told me she is vulnerable. But she often has more than one bedroom occupied - your guess is as good as mine!!

CocoPops Thu 07-Jan-21 21:22:34

I have not read the complete thread so my apologies if OP has already answered this... Given that so many lives have been lost to Covid with over a thousand deaths yesterday ....Has this neighbour been reported to the police? If not, why not?
If this were my neighbour I would feel duty bound to report her in order to protect the lives of others.

MissAdventure Thu 07-Jan-21 21:34:33

I'd be hounded off the site as a mean spirited, spiteful, "snitch" or curtain twitcher if I did!

I wouldn't report her anyway; I feel sad for her, in a way.