I’m being made to feel stupid for sticking to the rules, anyone else?

Interestingly, chatting to our son in South Korea earlier today, he said that over there most of the rule breakers are middle aged and older people, most of them going to large (ie several hundred people) church services. Seems like the opposite of here. Maybe they think God will protect them!

Do your own thing, we do, we don't pay attention to what other people say.

To be honest, I couldn't see people who didn't respect my decisions as friends. Plus, without wishing to lay it on too thick, if they don't want to maintain their own health that's up to them, but they want to put you at risk. They are not friends.

You cant get on with your life if you’re dead. Have they been living on a desert island or something ? Tell them to wake up and smell the Covid and then carry on doing what you’re doing.

Well said Chris8888

I know how you feel, I have some family members who make me feel like I am over reacting. All you can do is stick to what you know is right. Just today I had one saying she would like to come over with her 3 kids for an hour as they haven`t seen me for a bit. I suggested meeting in the park, `No its to cold for that, oh you are so over the top` - We are in Tier 4 - no wonder this thing is spreading. Stick to your guns op and stay safe.

My family and friends are following the rules but nobody can make you feel stupid for doing what you know is right. If they want to be reckless then that is up to them but they should respect your decision.

In our local park there were at least 40 children between approx 6-17 they were playing in what looked like a family gathering. Some were playing football with others using the swing park. These children will be at primary and senior schools tomorrow. The parents about 10 in total were all mixing too.
If these parents truly loved their children they would not be mixing with others.
If their teachers knew what was happening they’d be outraged. Or so I thought. At least 2 of the adults present WERE teachers. So they will be at school tomorrow too!! All this is madness

Don’t let this stupid people try and turn you away from what you know is right ! My own SiL and her DH are still saying things to me and to my DH about me because I stick to the rules.

Just say "well we all have to make the choices that work best for us dont we!" and smile benignly! OR ..." well the choices we make are not really just for ourselves. I feel comfortable sticking to rules for everyone's sake. We each make our own choices!" And smile benignly!

But to be honest, people who cant just accept that you have made a choice without going on at you ...friends ...hmmm??

PollyDolly

Point out to these friends that Covid doesn't come with a calling card, we cannot see that someone might be infected with the virus, they don't know that the person they stood next to in the supermarket/chemists/hardware shop wasn't a carrier.

Above all, carry on being sensible yourself and in your shoes I would avoid these "friends" like the plague!!!

She is doing!

I would just nod and say we all have to follow our own conscience where the rules are concerned and in future, try to avoid discussing the rules if you can. You should also keep our physical distance as if they breaking the rules they could catch the virus abd pass it to you.

kjmpde It is not "the elderly" who are holding parties of several hundreds (that is the young who think that they are immortal, and don't consider how mortal their grandparents are) or flocking to quiet picturesque villages to crowd the pavements of their streets without masks (that is the middle-aged who think that they must get out and an area with a low infection rate is the safest place to go). Perhaps you see people with grey hair and think they are old, when they are probably in the forties, fifties or early sixties. That is not old - it is still middle-aged! The "elderly" that I know are staying at home avoiding icily treacherous pavements and pushy teenagers, getting their groceries delivered and only going outside the front door to put the wheeliebin out. The more IT-savvy speak to their families on Zoom or by Whatsapp - and a lot more have become savvy since lockdown. The less savvy just hope their familes can spare the time to phone them.

My 90 year old Mother is living with my brother in Surrey until she moves into her flat in a few weeks, just down the road from him. Every weekend my brother and my Mum go to stay with his girlfriend, who has two teenaged girls wandering in and out. I have told them both again and again that they shouldn't be doing it, but they both just ignore me or if they pretend to listen, they just do it again. It makes me furious, but I can't get through to any of them!

TenaciousB

I live in an area where our Covid 19 cases are low but I’m still sticking to the rules so that it doesn’t change however my circle of friends think that the risk is overrated and that I’m being over the top by doing this ( and I’m talking about older people too!) it is really making me angry but I’m biting my tongue as I know one day this will be over and I don’t want to lose my friendships. It is getting very hard to do this though. Is anyone else in the same situation?

You are doing a brilliant job, we need more people like you and don't let anyone tell you any different.

Yes, one particular ‘friend’ seems to delight in sending me Whats App messages badgering me to go out and have fun! She has ignored all the rules since the very first lockdown last March. It amazes me how she has stayed well! She has always said she never catches a cold so there is no way she will catch Covid! She is eighty-three years old and thinks that at seventy-two I’m being stupid. I have not fallen out with her – but it has come close on more than one occasion.

I live in a small and very supportive village. I think most people are sticking to the rules and certainly wouldn’t brag about it if they weren’t or accuse others of being cowards! It’s not about just protecting ourselves , it really is about trying to keep the pressure off our medical services. I wonder if all the people being so cavalier about the rules would be willing to sign waivers to say they won’t avail themselves of hospital beds if they should fall ill.........

Most of our friends are being cautious and sticking to the rules but some (and some neighbours) are pushing the rules and making excuses for doing so.
I can't agree with those of you who are saying that we each need to do what is right for us. In a pandemic, it needs to be a collective responsibility to do what is right. We all know what is required - social distancing, staying home as much as possible and washing hands. We have seriously poor leadership in this country at the moment but there can be few people who don't know what they should be doing. It is people and their poor behaviour who are spreading the virus and costing lives.
I understand that it's difficult with friends. I refuse to support them by what I say to them though.

I too live in a low area, and as far as I'm aware family and friends are sticking to the rules. There are loads of sensible people out there believe it or not!! You are right, stick to you guns, hopefully if we all do we'll be on the right road to reach an end to this awful time.

GoldenAge

TenaciousB - these people are NOT friends. No matter what the situation, nor how worried you might be that they won't be there when this is all over, friends who try to make you feel stupid are not worth having. It's called gaslighting - making you feel your opinion is worthless. Of course if you live in the countryside and you can walk your dog at a social distance away from another friend doing the same thing, you might feel more comfortable and assess the risk differently but from what you say you're not in that situation so do what you know instinctively is right for you and don't be bullied - in fact it always pays to call bullies out and if you really do want to keep these people as friends then just say that you feel they're ganging up on you and you never expected that from them.

GoldenAge, your comment regarding ridiculing those who are cautious as being a form of gaslighting is very astute. In a sense, it is a bit like the drinkers in a pub who used to tell people who refused further drinks because they were driving that they should lighten up, one or two more won’t do any harm etc, as though they were just killjoys. Now we all understand the risks

in my experience it is the elderly that is the problem - ignoring socil distance, facemasks around the chin and not on the face or mouth, sitting on bus seats which specificially state DO NOT USE etc etc. if the youngsters see such behaviour then it is easy to understand why they copy it. that is why your so called friends are ignoring the rules - the wrong age group!

TenaciousB - these people are NOT friends. No matter what the situation, nor how worried you might be that they won't be there when this is all over, friends who try to make you feel stupid are not worth having. It's called gaslighting - making you feel your opinion is worthless. Of course if you live in the countryside and you can walk your dog at a social distance away from another friend doing the same thing, you might feel more comfortable and assess the risk differently but from what you say you're not in that situation so do what you know instinctively is right for you and don't be bullied - in fact it always pays to call bullies out and if you really do want to keep these people as friends then just say that you feel they're ganging up on you and you never expected that from them.

On a local Facebook page I said 'well it's your funeral' in response to posts that dismissed the virus. It caused a big backlash and I was told I was threatening people. I stand by my comment, everyone has the right to do as they want but personally I'm staying safe.

No, Tenacious B, you are not stupid. You are the only sensible, intelligent, caring one.

We scaredy-cats, hiding away, are the heroes; saving our friends, the NHS and the world.

I have experienced a bit of it myself, being told to 'live my life'. But there's no great rush. I will go out socialising when this is all over.

Meanwhile I really am living my life. I am quite enjoying not having to keep tidy in case anyone calls, having a lie-in, not having to get dressed up for a night out. I can talk to my friends and family on the phone, or on Skype. I can see the grandchildren on Skype, which is normal for me as they live in Australia. I am doing classes on zoom, and spending time on my hobbies, crafts, reading and studying. I can go for walks and take photos. I have time to sort out all those drawers and cupboards etc.

The only thing I am missing is travel abroad.

You and I will still be here to live our lives. I just hope they are.

I think people like you are the reason why the no’s are low in your area.