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I’m being made to feel stupid for sticking to the rules, anyone else?

(239 Posts)
TenaciousB Sat 02-Jan-21 16:13:15

I live in an area where our Covid 19 cases are low but I’m still sticking to the rules so that it doesn’t change however my circle of friends think that the risk is overrated and that I’m being over the top by doing this ( and I’m talking about older people too!) it is really making me angry but I’m biting my tongue as I know one day this will be over and I don’t want to lose my friendships. It is getting very hard to do this though. Is anyone else in the same situation?

lemongrove Sat 02-Jan-21 16:17:35

No, all our friends and relatives are fortunately very sensible and following all laws and guidelines.

Ellianne Sat 02-Jan-21 16:20:02

What is it that your friends want you to do or are they just making comments?

EllanVannin Sat 02-Jan-21 16:25:04

I'm glad my friends aren't like that.

DiscoDancer1975 Sat 02-Jan-21 16:27:59

I didn’t think anywhere was low particularly now. Stick by it though TenaciousB, you know it’s the right thing to do.

LauraNorder Sat 02-Jan-21 16:29:20

Most of our friends are being very cautious just like us but there are two who like to give advice with comments like
‘You can’t shut yourself away, you need to get on with your life’. This is usually because we turn down a dinner invitation or say we didn’t want to risk the busy shops before Christmas.
Is that the sort of thing you mean TenaciousB?

Doodledog Sat 02-Jan-21 16:29:26

Why are you surprised that it is older people who are saying these things?

Violettham Sat 02-Jan-21 16:29:40

Same as Lemongrove.

LauraNorder Sat 02-Jan-21 16:32:45

Don’t feel stupid or angry. You are the one doing the right thing. Just smile and breathe and continue to keep yourself and others safe.

Judy54 Sat 02-Jan-21 17:10:15

Each of us must do what we think is right for us TenaciousB You are right and your friends are wrong to think that the risk is overrated. There has been a big rise in cases and no one is immune. Perhaps they have not experienced any of their family or friends contracting coronavirus as many of us have, if or when they do it will hopefully make them realise just how serious the situation is.

SuzannahM Sat 02-Jan-21 17:13:07

Even on GN there were/are people busily advising everyone to "get on with their lives".

Smile nicely and say "we all have to do what we feel is right, and this is right for us and our family" and let them get on with it. Nothing you say will deter them, all you can do is protect yourselves and your families to the best of your ability.

We were in an area of low incidence until very recently, but it's now skyrocketed. If you carry on as you are and the incidence locally does rise you won't get caught up in it.

Elegran Sat 02-Jan-21 18:17:48

If we said that someone had "looked at us as though we were mad" Dad would reply, "Just look back at them as though you are sane."

You are sane, those who think you are over the top are the ones who are not, so don't be afraid to do what you think is right. At some point they will realise how wrong they are. They will find it painful, if they are the ones who catch it, or sad, if it is someone they love who is not able to fight it off.

Daisymae Sat 02-Jan-21 18:22:48

We are being more careful than our neighbours, but our friends who are age group are abiding by the rules. I would really just carry on with what you are doing. With a vaccine on the horizon its really is better to be safe than sorry. Like you we were low risk, but that changed rapidly. This isn't over yet.

Blossoming Sat 02-Jan-21 18:22:57

Had a few people who’ve been a bit miffed that we’ve refused invitations. Their feelings are not my responsibility but I’m damned if I’ll let them put me in danger.

PamelaJ1 Sat 02-Jan-21 18:25:14

Just carry on doing what you feel is the right way to behave.

I’ve just watched an article featuring a woman with bowel cancer who has just had her extremely important operation cancelled because the hospital can’t cope.

It isn’t just potential covid victims who are being impacted by those just don’t seem to understand.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 02-Jan-21 18:25:27

Most people I know are keeping to the rules. One friend who lives an hour away isn’t and doesn’t care. My two children who live in London definitely keep to the rules. One works in a hospital and the other works in the Cabinet Office in Downing Street.

NotTooOld Sat 02-Jan-21 18:27:31

'We have to get on with our lives' - yes, that's a favourite. The answer is that we cannot get on with our lives if we are dead.

Septimia Sat 02-Jan-21 18:29:04

Even among those who are being cautious there are differences of opinion as to how careful to be. There's nothing wrong with being more careful than your friends consider to be necessary.

All you can say is that you personally prefer to be extra-cautious, but try not to sound critical of them (which could give them more ammunition to criticise you).

growstuff Sat 02-Jan-21 18:37:26


'We have to get on with our lives' - yes, that's a favourite. The answer is that we cannot get on with our lives if we are dead.

The other one is talking about people being too frightened to go out, as though there's something "wrong" with them. There's a woman on a local social media group who is forever going on about getting back to normal because she's fed up with seeing miserable faces.

FarNorth Sat 02-Jan-21 19:27:27

As far as I can tell, most people in my area are keeping to the rules.
We have a very low incidence here and people want to do their bit to keep it that way.

In summer, when I didn't want to do some things even though they were allowed, I just said that I felt nervous about doing them and I'd prefer to wait a bit and see how things went.

If anyone thought I was silly, they didn't say so, and I wouldn't want to continue being friends with them if they did criticise me.

Grammaretto Sat 02-Jan-21 20:05:23

I am sticking to the rules although the rules are sometimes ambiguous.
My FiL died from hospital acquired Covid last month and we are holding a very small funeral for him next week.
Several of my DC's friends who are all under 50 have Covid and are quite ill.
I also know people who have been waiting for operations which can't go ahead due to covid patients taking priority.
No I am not ready to get back to normal yet despite being tempted.
You are the wise one TenaciousB

LauraNorder Sat 02-Jan-21 20:16:30

It seems you have unanimous support TenB.
Pinching a line from another gran, sadly can’t remember who ‘stay positive, test negative’.

Urmstongran Sat 02-Jan-21 20:49:06

Stick to your guns TerriBull and well done you. Hopefully these next 3-4 months will be pretty much the fizzling out of this awful virus. Like you, we and everyone we know are sticking to the guidelines. We feel we are so near to a vaccination now, why risk it for a biscuit?

welbeck Sat 02-Jan-21 20:55:10

i wouldn't want to be friends with people like that.

Jaxjacky Sat 02-Jan-21 20:57:47

I was early on, even a bit by my DH, it all changed.