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Why didn’t I or We think of this a year ago ?

(25 Posts)
NanaDH Wed 17-Feb-21 19:57:08

I work in a supermarket, I have done throughout all lock downs. Last week for the first time my son had been to the local Mc D and he came in to buy his wife some wine for valentines. I was so surprised to see him. I haven’t seen him or his family since Christmas Day when we had an outdoor family bonfire and hot drinks. WHY didn’t we think of this way of meeting occasionally before?

NellG Wed 17-Feb-21 20:01:54

Because you're good, sensible people trying to play by the rules for everyone's benefit.

But now you've sussed it...

I hope it was a nice surprise to see him and made your day a bit more pleasant.

NotAGran55 Wed 17-Feb-21 20:14:30

During the first lockdown my youngest son (22) was living on his own in Liverpool working full time in a M&S food hall .
I can’t tell you how many times I was tempted to do the 7 hour round trip to do my weekly shop there just to see him for a few minutes.
His manager was a right old battle axe and I didn’t want him to get any grief so resisted the temptation .

Enjoy your little visits .

NanaDH Wed 17-Feb-21 20:24:02

NellG that it is we have played by the rules it was lovely to see him but I resisted going outside to see the grandkids Who were in the car I would have needed a hug and that is definitely a No No especially as I am more worried about passing infection to anyone. NotAGran55 If he was closer would you have been more tempted?

Pittcity Wed 17-Feb-21 20:44:01

I know somebody who "employs" her DD and SonIL to do odd jobs. As she "pays" them it's not illegal.

NellG Wed 17-Feb-21 20:56:32

I haven't seen my two GDs since Christmas Eve and miss them terribly. There has been times we could have 'bumped into' them, but I've avoided it as I know I would want cuddles and it's also so unfair to everyone else who is playing fair so that we can all come through this as soon as possible. Thank goodness technology allows us to communicate and see each other. It's not the same of course, but better than nothing.

Pittcity Could she not just form a bubble with them? If she's not alone and can't I'm not sure paying them counts and even if it does it's bit morally spurious. This is hard on everyone and finding ways around it to narrowly fit 'legal' criteria wont outwit a virus. I sincerely hope none of them get ill.

growstuff Thu 18-Feb-21 00:37:13

Exactly NellG. I hope somebody has informed the virus that people are being "paid" rather than visiting socially. VirusHQ can de-activate those nasty spikes because they have "permission" to be there. Maybe they could sue, if the pesky spikes don't take any notice. More fool the DD and SinL and the person who "employs" them!

Hetty58 Thu 18-Feb-21 01:09:53

Here we go again - yet another post where somebody proudly crows about bending/avoiding/circumventing the rules!

Unbelievable, isn't it? You'd think they'd at least be ashamed enough to keep very quiet about it.

No, it's not acceptable - somebody could suffer and die because of your selfishness.

growstuff Thu 18-Feb-21 01:56:32

To be fair, it's somebody the poster knows who is being selfish.

Hetty58 Thu 18-Feb-21 08:00:20

growstuff, yes, correct, but isn't it always? Not big or clever, though - just irresponsible.

Pittcity Thu 18-Feb-21 08:04:18

NellG, she is not alone as she has a DH.
Hetty, it is my acquaintance who crows about her rule bending.
I think that she is being totally selfish too.

grandmajet Thu 18-Feb-21 08:10:59

My grandchildren ‘got’ quite quickly the idea of social distancing and I haven’t been closer than the 2 metres since all this started. I like to see them but I’m not tempted to cuddle them, or my own grown up children. The grandchildren would be shocked if I did. Nor have I been tempted to have them in our house or visit theirs. The risks are too great.
The rules are there for our benefit and not for us to try to be clever and find a ‘loophole’.

Hetty58 Thu 18-Feb-21 08:15:12

Thanks Pittcity (I didn't mean you) and yes, same here grandmajet. My children and grandchildren want to keep me as safe as possible. (I joke that it's for future babysitting services.) I feel responsible for others' safety too, including strangers.

Juliet27 Thu 18-Feb-21 08:25:42

As both my daughter and son and grandkids are in Australia (not seen them since August 2019) I’m rather glad I haven’t got the temptation of spending time with them but I do hope it won’t be much longer before I can.

son and grandkids are all in Australia, not seen them since August 2019

Katie59 Thu 18-Feb-21 08:38:04

Although I’m seen as a key worker - 3 days a week at the supermarket, I am very lucky because I see a lot of friends, although you only get chance for a quick chat, it’s better than being stuck at home every day.

BlueSky Thu 18-Feb-21 08:43:27

Same here Juliet my last time was in 2018.
I’m surprised how many people I’ve heard of who meet indoors when they aren’t supposed to. So it’s not just the people wearing a mask under their nose we should worry about.

Hetty58 Thu 18-Feb-21 08:43:36

A quick chat (from a distance) with fellow dog walkers has kept some semblance of normality for me. I can wait to see family and we chat on Zoom.

A neighbour has daily visits from her children and grandchildren. As she lives alone, it's 'allowed' - but I really do wonder how they'll feel if anything happens to her.

Franbern Thu 18-Feb-21 09:01:54

Well, I am in a bubble with my daughter who lives near, and so she comes to see me once a week, straight from work, and one of her teenage children also comes for a couple óf hours once a week. No, we do not cuddle, and they wash their hands as soon as they enter my flat.

My daughter has tests twice weekly at her school - the teenager has tests usually about twice most weeks before they go into their college for some practical lessons. I do not feel in any risk from their coming and am so very, very grateful for their support.

I do know (not just think there could be a chance), that without having had this support and seeing of them I would be in much worse health state as would probably have either had or been close to a total breakdown by now.

People are so quick to condemn other people these days - I find this so disturbing.

NellG Thu 18-Feb-21 09:21:57

Franbern You are in a support bubble, so have no reason to worry about people condemning you. I don't think anyone could legitimately argue the benefit you've had from contact with your family.

The objections come when people are circumventing the rules and putting themselves and others at risk by doing so. I think we all know people/families who are bending to suit themselves - and the fact that that we all know people tells us how many are involved. No wonder the spread can't be contained. I think people mainly feel let down and confused. Some will go on to break the rules and guidance themselves feeling that if you can't beat them, join them. Even worse when prominent people break them.

People were always quick to condemn others, finger pointing seems to be a national pastime. This pandemic has just provided more opportunity.

Harris27 Thu 18-Feb-21 09:26:48

I have this a while back where my son came and delivered some sanitiser to my workplace as it’s his own company and he came and dropped it off. I waved at him and my boss said to see him. I came and spoke to him for a couple of minutes safe distancing and then he left. I did shed a tear before I went back into my room as it was so unusual and odd.

Hetty58 Thu 18-Feb-21 09:51:39

Franbern, I'm not criticising anyone who genuinely needs support for their health. Unfortunately, though 'support bubble' is being used as a lame excuse for socialising.

My neighbour is very active, fit and well, used to occasional visits from family. The recent daily visits are due to 'boredom', as her usual shopping, coffee and meals out are not happening. Her children are bored, too, with no after school activities etc.

There are far worse things than being bored.

However, I think tests and 'covid safe' arrangements tend to provide false optimism. 'I do not feel in any risk' worries me - as there is always a risk. The tests aren't very accurate, after all.

My friend (a nurse in a covid ward) is completely exhausted, losing hope, planning a career change - and horrified by the behaviour of the general public, who still don't really seem to understand the danger.

LauraNorder Thu 18-Feb-21 10:00:25

The virus is delighted with all rule breakers, rule benders and risk takers. Not only keeps it alive but enables it to mutate.

PamelaJ1 Thu 18-Feb-21 10:22:39

There are plenty of rule benders about and if they tell me what they are doing I snap into police chief mode.
I have a bubble with a single, elderly neighbour, all good. I pop in for coffee and have her here for lunch a couple of times a week.
A few weeks ago her son cam to visit her from Essex. What was that about? I stopped seeing her for 2 weeks. Her son wants to come again but bringing his wife and children this time (and dog) Up to the coast, the dog is a lock down puppy and hasn’t been to the beach yet??‍♀️ They will pop in on their way back. You couldn’t make it up. She has said no this time, she must like our cooking?
Re: nanaGH you are at no more risk from your family than from anyone else who is shopping. If you are safe from strangers you will be as safe from your son. Well done for resisting temptation. It must have been hard.

NotAGran55 Thu 18-Feb-21 19:58:44


NellG that it is we have played by the rules it was lovely to see him but I resisted going outside to see the grandkids Who were in the car I would have needed a hug and that is definitely a No No especially as I am more worried about passing infection to anyone. NotAGran55 If he was closer would you have been more tempted?

Sorry NanaDH I have only just seen your question .

Yes most definitely, I would have changed my weekly shop from Waitrose to M&S in the hope of seeing him for a few minutes at the till .

I’d rather have seen him than the strangers that I did and still do every week .

Biscuitmuncher Sat 27-Feb-21 00:37:54

You see thousands of strangers every week but your son has only just gone in the shop where you work today ?