Friendship vs vaccination

I have a friend who is refusing it and believes a lot of the crackpot stuff she sees on twitter - that it wasn't properly tested, or it's a big scientific experiment on the population etc. And all the things about people dying after having the vaccine (with thousands of people having it, mostly elderly, there's bound to be a few who will die within a few days of having it. They'd have died anyway!) But she won't see sense. It annoys the hell out of me, I must admit. I try to avoid the topic with her now.

I don’t know anyone who has turned it down, but my Son in law is not keen, even though he has a heart condition. I guess he will have it as he will want to travel for work when it is legal,
If I had a close friend who refused it, I would be refusing to go near her, just maintain contact line.

Online

I think two things. Point one, what else will your friend not be doing because they don't like being told what to do? handwashing? distancing? taking a test if needed? because if that is the reason then I would be concerned that she would be doing other risky things.
Point two (and this is sad) I think that, if you are like me, your friendship has already changed in a way that won't change back. Your heart and your feelings have already been affected and probabaly hers too.

I have/had a friend like this and then suddenly during lockdown I had had enough and our friendship has ceased I think and I am so relieved.

I have, husband hasn’t. What’s the problem?

My son, who is in his thirties, told me he will not have the vaccine because it hasn’t been tested properly. He’s a secondary school teacher, and has a young family. He’s always coming out with stuff like this that he reads somewhere. I told him it was rubbish! I’m not going to fall out with him about it, it’s up to him I guess. But I can’t understand where he’s getting this stuff from, or why he believes that the NHS has become involved in a conspiracy to poison the population!

I don’t think it’s worth falling out over. I can only assume that some people don’t understand the severity of Covid infections. I was very relieved to get the amount of protection provided by the first shot, and I assumed everyone would feel the same!

I wonder how many anti vax folk will change their minds when they realise their options to go on holiday etc may be limited. It is their choice not to have the vaccine but other countries may not allow them in.

What I have noticed in this chat is that no-one has taken into account that when you leave your house you can be mixing with any number of people who also haven't had the vaccine and you wouldn't even know. People come into the country all the time and who knows if they have been tested, have the virus or even a much worse strain which wouldn't be covered by the present vaccines.

Lots aren’t having the vaccine it’s their choice

I think Hetty58 has the right idea: wear a mask around her and do not let her into your house or car until she is vaccinated.
I am afraid I have very strong views on this and believe we should all be vaccinated unless for some medical reason. I would support it being compulsory because it has now been shown you are not just protecting yourself but to some degree others too and it is extremely selfish to assume you are fine not being vaccinated as you could prolong this lockdown frustration and agony for others. I hope as many places as possible insist on the vaccinated for work or pleasure,

I agree wit “Leavesden” where would we be if people had refused to have vaccinations years ago ! I feel that ( and only my opinion ) that the jab is the only way out of this terrible situation .

I totaly agree Eloethan.
It`s not up to anyone other than the person involved to have the vaccine or not.
How would someone who bullied another person into having it feel if that person fell ill or worse after having it.

I think I might say or write a little note saying " You are a valued friend, but, much as I love you, I am not prepared to risk my life by physically being in contact with you if you refuse to have the covid jab. I guess we won't be meeting for the forseeable future, you have a choice here. I will respect your decision".

I’m not sure what the problem is as a few others have said. If you’re vaccinated, you’re possibly protected from serious covid symptoms and may still spread the virus to others. If you’re unvaccinated, you may spread the virus to others and may have more serious symptoms. So the transmission risk is the same (until there’s strong evidence that it isn’t)....or someone here knows different. Is this enough for friends to go their different ways?

If your friend doesn't like being told what to do, will she comply with "being told" she has to go to hospital for treatment for Covid.

I would not respect the mind of a friend who was anti vaxx. I would of course respect their right to make the decision but the outcome of that decision is inherently selfish unless they remain isolated. I had long standing friends who passionately voted for Trump and who began repeating fact free conspiracy stuff and sounding fascist. I use the past tense. Sometimes I feel I have to take a stand.

I would stay friends but would always keep distance and only meet them outside.

I have a friend who thinks the whole COVID malarkey is a load of nonsense manufactured by the First Minister to make her look good. Needless to say, we don’t talk politics but she does have other good qualities to offset it.

Thank you all so much for your wise advice which I greatly appreciate. I don't want to lose her friendship but I must admit things have changed, for which I feel very sad. Maybe she'll change her mind, but that's up to her. Because of lockdown, we don't see each other, so maybe by the end of it, we can get our friendship back on track. Thank you all again.

My DIL said she wasn't going to be vaccinated. My son asked her why and was a bit horrified to find that one of the reasons is she doesn't like to be told what to do and her work had arranged it for her. He told her that he thought that was an unreasonable excuse but it was ok, he would happily take their child on flights and to anywhere else where a vaccination passport might be required. The next day she came back to him and said that her biggest worry was that her thyroid was out of whack and she wanted to wait until she felt better. Now she does, she is pushing for it to be done. Had he tried to force her to get it done by arguing, she would have just dug her heals in. He married his mother. ?

I’ve have friends who have fallen out with other friends because they wouldn’t comply with lockdown rules. I feel annoyed and frustrated by these people. Not having the vaccine is selfish and personally I wouldn’t want to stay friends. You couldn’t meet up with them anyway as they could be carrying the virus and spreading it. I think anyone making the choice to not have the vaccine should sign a disclaimer stating that they will not have any health care if they catch COVID. Why should they be a burden on NHS?

I have 2 step children who have said they won't have the vaccine but are not the age to have it yet. Their mother who is my age has refused the vaccine even though her current husband is vulnerable and has been vaccinated. My own children are saying they don't want to mix with people who haven't been vaccinated because its a selfish decision. One is a nurse and is currently vaccinating as a volunteer in her down time & the other is working from home and has a new baby.
We have said its an individual's choice to have or not have a vaccinination but I would hope it is an informed choice rather than an idealogical choice and in a lot of cases that I know or have heard about it doesn't appear to be. Its a I've had C19 or I'm not at risk.....
The best way to change this is to make it socially unacceptable not to be vaccinated and that takes time to percolate through society.

I have an acquaintance with similar “Nobody’s telling me what to do” views. She is refusing the vaccine in spite of her DH being vulnerable.
Her most stupid refusal is that she will not wear a seatbelt. The front belts in her car are locked so that she can drape them across her lap to look as though they are buckled when in fact they are not. Luckily she has not had an accident.

I've had my first dose already and so has my husband. I wanted us to be protected and also help protect others that want it but for certain medical reasons maybe can't have it.
If I any of my friends or family don't want to have it then that's their choice, but until this thing is put to bed once & for all I won't be seeing them in person if they're not having it, just in case.