Friendship vs vaccination

Well..... I'm fascinated by the variable interpretations of the 'friend' relationship. I have a little book tucked away somewhere entitled 'A friend is someone who loves you'. When lockdown is relaxed and we start to mingle gradually and ever so slightly are we all going to ascertain whether passing strangers or fellow travellers have been vaccinated? A little bit impractical methinks. I regularly disagree with my pal but not for one minute would I disrespect her right to her opinion even though I might tell her she's absolutely nuts (and vice versa!) and on we go. Find some of the judgemental stuff I'm reading here positively awful.

PamQS I have a son like this too !
I don't agree with this way of thinking but do think it's up to each individual to decide....we aren't the vaccine police !

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Apparently Israel had a low take up until they said in order to do various things you had to prove you have been vaccinated. Once they realised they couldn’t go on holiday, etc etc.they changed their minds. Can see that happening here.

As someone who is CEV I’ve spent most of the last 12 months indoors and shielding. I think that alongside the wonderful acts of kindness and selflessness during the pandemic, the situation has also shown the ‘I’m alright Jack’ character side of a lot of people. Vaccines are available, they’re free and they will undoubtedly eventually offer a way out of lockdown. Myself and my partner ended up contracting Covid a few weeks ago after a short hospital stay, and it was a truly awful experience even with partial vaccination - one which I have no desire to repeat. This virus is extremely unpleasant even in it’s ‘mild’ form, it’s a killer to those whose immune systems aren’t up to the fight, and to refuse to be vaccinated is selfish. Having experienced it at first hand I dont understand why anyone would want to risk either contracting it or unknowingly passing it on, and any of my friends or family who refuse to be vaccinated wont be getting over my doorstep any time soon.

Why are you allowing this to come between you. Your friend is allowed her own opinion and course of action. You do what is right for you and she will do what is right for her. I honestly don’t think it’s any of your business what she does. She’s a grown up and so are you. I get very upset by this shame /judgy culture that seems to be getting more and more viscous. And before you judge me I am booked for my jab next week.

I have always felt that vaccination, mask-wearing, social distancing, etc were moral as well as practical issues. As well as protecting ourselves, we should do all we can to protect other people. However, there's now a strong personal reason why I feel resentful towards those who focus on on their right to choose, rather than on reducing the burden on the NHS.

My daughter has cancer. She needs another operation followed by radiotherapy. At the beginning of February, she was told it would be 6 weeks before she would get a date for the operation, because theatre availability was drastically reduced due to Covid. Then she was told it would be "many months." Her consultant said she has already waited too long, plus she urgently needs the radiotherapy which she can't have till after surgery. He got her classified as urgent, and she has now been told it may be mid- to late-April but that can't be guaranteed. Basically, we don't know when it would be. The lady who rang her was sympathetic but said that their department was only getting theatre space for 1 operation per week, due to Covid. The consultant said that he has 160 urgent cases on his list. He said that people will die.

Our girl can't wait and risk it spreading. No cancer sufferer can wait. Due to complications from the previous surgery, it looked like we wouldn't be able to get her a private operation. We have been terrified. Now it seems that we may have found a specialist who can do it. We aren't well off, and our daughter doesn't earn much as a charity worker, but we can get enough together to pay for the operation. We just hope that, when she goes for her consultation, he says that he can do it.

Reducing the number of people needing to be hospitalised for Covid won't only reduce deaths from the virus. It will reduce deaths from cancer and other diseases by reducing the huge demand that Covid places on hospital resources.

People may exert their freedom to choose to risk their own lives. Unfortunately they are choosing to risk other people's too.

Posted before I had finished!
I wish someone would tell me if I am putting other clients at risk.

I have a client who won’t have the vaccination but expects me to treat her after the 12th April when I start work again.
I’m a beauty therapist and she has a manicure, pedi and facial.
I will be with her for about 4 hours in quite close proximity.

Of course I will be wearing mask and visor. It should be warm enough to have the windows open and we have a very low incidence of the virus here. I know that she hasn’t been socialising with anyone and the chances of me getting Covid from her are very low but I have put off ringing her to make the appointment.
I don’t really care if I never see her again but she is actually a very nice woman and is feeling very lonely at the moment. She rings me frequently but I haven’t been able to convince her that the inoculation is not going to poison her body.

I am soon to help out with vaccinations ( we are very slow in this country) I was delighted yesterday to receive the first jab before we start vaccinating.Its a step in the right direction.
We should not be selfish but think of each other,I think everyone should be vaccinated.

I am having the vaccine because the more people that have it the more we can challenge the government about scrapping social distancing. That should NEVER be made permanent! You could put that to her.

Can anyone explain to me why anyone would refuse lifesaving medication? I honestly don't get it! Surely they can read the results of the extensive vaccine trials? Even microchipped pets have to be scanned to know they have one- perhaps scanning the vaccine vials to show they are microchip free would convince them?
What conspiracy do they believe? Why would it be in anyone's interest to invent a disease and how would you convince medical staff to lie about the long hours they are working and the exhaustion they suffer from treating covid patients? Maybe covidiots should be taken round intensive care and shown what is happening.
I totally agree with B9exchange- medical staff should have the vaccine or leave their job. And anyone who refused to have it, unless for genuine medical reasons, would be no friend of mine.

I wouldn’t lose a friend over it but maybe just a timely reminder x

I understand that lots of younger women won't have the vaccine because pregnant women were advised not to. This was raised with Prof van Tam on GMB last week and he explained that vaccines aren't tested on pregnant women. He went on to say that if any women on the trials became pregnant they were told to leave the trials.

During the Brexit process people were constantly saying that they didn't trust experts. A different group to those who refuse the vaccine admittedly but perhaps we're all becoming anti expert on one subject or another.

I love that term covidiots! I think people should have the choice, but perhaps not to be allowed to go on trains, boats and planes! Even after we have had two vaccines there's not 100% protection.

Interesting that NHSE have told all line managers they must 'have a conversation' within the next week with all staff who haven't taken the vaccine yet. I'm all for free choice, but in the NHS and caring professions I think your free choice is either have the vaccine or leave your job. As nurses, and even as practice management staff, we had to have Hepatitis B vaccinations, there was no question of not doing so.

Totally agree with keepingquiet. I too have a friend who is into conspiracy theories, some of which I buy into, but not this one. We have discussed the vaccination she refuses, I have had mine. We agree to disagree, she is entitled to her opinion.

Its natural to be anxious about a relatively new vaccine I understand that, I too was apprehensive before I had mine but when the alternative is possible death there isn't really a choice! However I dont intend to fall out about it with anyone.
I did fall out with a friend who was a leave voter though?

We had a letter from our daughter's care provider saying over 90% of their staff had taken up the vaccine, so I think it must vary.

I do think a lot of people are struggling mentally, emotionally and may be even physically (not to mention financially) because of the worry of covid and the restrictions in place, so I TRY to keep it in mind if someone is coming out with things that seem bizarre. Hopefully all these people will come to a realisation of what normality will mean and look like, with or without a vaccine. It's amazing we have one. What would this year look like and the next few years of a vaccine HAD NOT been developed?

Agree to differ. Then keep your distance..
What annoys me is that only 66% of care workers have taken up the offer of the vaccine! That baffles me! It can't be made compulsory within their terms of employment contract or they can sue employers for breach of human rights! So, they gad about and get paid for it while working with vulnerable and elderly people!

Patsie, I read your post as concerns about how differing opinions spoil a friendship.

My sister-in-law and her partner are refusing vaccinations because they don't trust the information we have been given: I do trust it, and both DH and I have been vaccinated (once!)
They think we should have stayed in the EU: DH and I voted to leave.
DSIL and I have very different political and religious views.

We are very good friends and have interesting telephone calls about various situations, and we have supported each during some incredibly difficult times over the past few years, not least when our respective partners have been suffering life-threatening health conditions. Hopefully, I will be able to see her again once we are allowed to travel to EU countries or vice versa! (DH does not like travelling abroad!!)

My ex-daughter-in-law and I have remained good friends despite differences of opinion. In fact, since her own mother died suddenly as the result of a car accident, she seems to regard me as a surrogate mother as well as a friend!

In my experience, friendship is based on love, not on opinions. If you don't feel safe in her company, then talk about it. Keep lines of communication open!

Or have I just been very lucky in my friendships?!!

I completely agree. If somebody isn’t vaccinated then I don’t want them around me or in my home.

I have a friend who, although has happily had the vaccination, has totally ignored all lockdown rules. She has throughout continued to visit people indoors, hugging etc, has regularly had her grandchildren to sleepover, even one who is a nurse. She keeps nagging me to meet up (She lives an hour's drive away) but I keep putting her off. I just feel that if I meet up with her I might not be able to bite my tongue, which I'm able to do on the phone .

Your friend may well change her mind when she finds that her access to events, transport, holidays etc is restricted. She may not like it, but that will be her choice

Patsie - it's all a question of how up close and personal you were with your friend before this pandemic, and whether you want that to continue afterwards. If you saw your friend at a distance beforehand then maybe if won't matter, but if you sat across a table playing bridge with her twice a week for two hours you might just have to tell her that that would be off the agenda. Do you have other mutual friends and if so, have you spoken to them about your/their feelings?