Friendship vs vaccination

I admit to be ambivalent about this.

I have always believed that everyone has the right to their own opinions and to live according to them, and I would like to continue feeling this way.

However, there are areas of life where we have to accept a majority decision - the law is one of them. Whatever laws are in force have to be obeyed . Few people would doubt that.

Right now vaccination is still a matter we can decide for ourselves and this is how it should be.

BUT do those who refuse to be vaccinated really have the right to put the rest of us at risk?

Frankly, I do not think they do.

I do not know where we go from here, except try to persuade them to be vaccinated.

I do not like the thought of having to tell friends that they are only welcome inside my house if they have been vaccinated, but perhaps we should be considering doing so?

It will cost us some friends, obviously.

What about tradesmen? Do we look for electricians and plumbers who have been vaccinated, or just keep six feet away from them while they work in our homes?

I think if you are fit enough to have the vaccine then it is selfish not to have it. I prefer unselfish friends.

I totally agree, Nan0 and Alishka And many of us will have memories of the mass polio vaccination, together with the horrifying pictures of children in iron lungs. I do think it's selfish of people who refuse to be vaccinated, especially with comments like "I'll wait and see how it affects other people first". But I feel certain that when these people realise that they won't be able to travel abroad , maybe even not be able to attend events/ venues/ restaurants etc in the UK, then they'll all be rushing to be vaccinated.

I think this is a difficult subject DH and I have had our 1st jab and were very happy to do so. Our 40yr old son and his fiancé are eagerly awaiting theirs he feels it’s his social responsibility to do so. Then there’s our 38yr old daughter and her husband who have said they won’t have it which saddens me greatly. Dd had a lot of fertility problems having her 2nd child having had several miscarriages which was horrendous for us all. She doesn’t trust the vaccine to interfere with her fertility. She is a very intelligent girl and associates with lots of other very intelligent people who have told her to be wary ? I understand her fears and nothing I can say will change her mind.
Maybe I’m naive but there is no way I would ban her from my home because she’s not vaccinated. Although it upsets me it’s her choice.

I had a long term close friend and we agreed to disagree over some big issues such as Brexit but it became hard work when she became an ardent conspiracy theorist and anti vaccer. She got offended about something last summer and no longer speaks to me. I have no wish to try and sort it out as she was becoming too difficult. It's sad after we used to have such good times together.

I’m glad to see this post as I’ve been worrying about a ‘friend’ of many years who refuses to adhere to lockdown rules, has her family for dinner (two families ) and has done all through the past year even during lockdowns. She says she ‘won’t be dictated to’ and refuses to wear a mask (though I don’t know how she shops ...!). She believes the conspiracy theories (China did it deliberately, Bill Gates did it, the vaccination contains micro chips, the government is wanting to control us (with microchips!) etc. Etc....).
I haven’t been in touch with her since Christmas when I was due to go and stay, but didn’t as the rules changed. It was at this point she wrote a long message saying how we ‘disagree’ with everything Covid related...! I feel I can’t be friends with someone who is so selfish, especially blatantly carrying on as normal with her family. It’s on my mind a lot, but things have changed for me and I can’t seem to forgive her ...! (The strange thing too, is she’s an ex nurse !!)

I've two friends who are against vaccination. This is despite their two AC being seriously ill with Covid. Very difficult to understand the reasoning behind the decision but they don't have the 'flu jab or routine checkups for anything either.

Nan0

Counter anti vaxxers with argument ie small pox..polio..cholera typhoid yellow fever and various hepatitis jabs...

This, and add in the MMR vaccinations we had.

Well said.

Sadly you can't fix stupid but I've decided not to have contact with people who refuse to be vaccinated but not until I have shared some of the stories of the people my daughter has seen die in intensive care (she's a doctor). They are not all old and infirm and it's really not a pleasant way to die, it's pretty vile for the people caring for them too and horribly expensive for the NHS. I'm all for personal choice but not when that choice affects others negatively.

Counter anti vaxxers with argument ie small pox..polio..cholera typhoid yellow fever and various hepatitis jabs...

I would feel the same, if everyone refused the vaccine we would be in lockdown for years and hundreds of thousands would die especially the older or those with medical problems because of those refusing the vaccine ..
Very selfish!
I wouldn’t want a irresponsible friend like that.

My concern about the unvaccinated is that they will continue to spread the virus at a much greater rate than the vaccinated and as a consequence of their behaviour in spreading the virus, mutations are more likely to arise. Any one of those mutations could be resistant to the vaccines or make it less effective. For that reason, I view their behaviour as extremely selfish and likely to result in further lockdowns as well as posing a threat to my health as I’d rather not get Covid at all, even if relatively mild. I wouldn’t want to sit indoors anywhere with a load of unvaccinated people - roll on the passports! Ps I do not include in this those who genuinely, but extremely rarely for purely medical reasons, can’t have the vaccine.

There are always Mary Contrarys. Those who will challenge everything just for the sake of it. That's OK but if you and your friends values differ on lots of issues, it must be hard.

I think the real problem here, whether it’s discovering major differences of opinion (e.g. Brexit and vaccination) is that where once we felt secure in friendships because of shared values, that certainty has gone. And that may need re-evaluation. This issue is in no way comparable to disagreeing about other matters - it’s highly dangerous and is stopping the NHS from dealing with now-huge waiting lists.
I’m pretty sure some of the anti-vac brigade would be the first to complain if cancer treatment for them or a family member was delayed or the hip replacement they were desperate for never happened.
I often think of my grandmother who lost her five year old son, the uncle I never had, to diptheria in the early 1920s. She’d have been in favour of anything that would have saved him.
Memories appear to be very short. We don’t know how lucky we are today.

I was talking to 3 of my neighbours the other day who are nurses and also members of the BAME community and I was shocked and horrified when they said that they won't be having the C19 vaccination.

I said that I understand it's their choice but why aren't they prepared to protect themselves? They would say no more than 'everyone else is having the vaccine, that will keep us safe'.

My response was a very shocked 'but you're nurses, what happened to you protecting other people, isn't there some ethical thing about doing no harm to your patients?', to which I got the response of 'well they're having the vaccine to protect themselves, so why should we worry about them!'.

I used to work in the NHS over a decade ago and I recall hearing something about all staff who have 'patient contact' having to have a Hep C vaccination, so now I'm wondering whether/why the C19 jab isn't being treated in the same way?

On a further, related point, I'm all for having C19 visa-type notations being added to passports (worldwide) so that we can prove, in a similar way to having to prove you've had other vaccines for entering certain countries for things like yellow fever etc, which would (in my world) prevent you from leaving/entering any country without the C19 vaccination, then I'm sure that all these anti-vaxers would be lining up to get jabbed if they realised they'd never be allowed to go away for their beloved foreign holidays!

You say you ahve completely opposing views on many things - that makes me feel this is just one more such thing you disagree on. I have many friends/ex colleagues like this, and I very much feel that seeing them only occasionally works best.

It’s the people who refuse to be vaccinated who will keep this virus going . And frighteningly it may have mutated to something even deadlier.
As Dolly Parton says Don’t be chicken ?!!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

If the friend wants to visit not having had the vac your health and others you will come in contact with come first. Lives before friendship. No vac no visit.

Its her choice at the end of the day.l would not lose a friend over it.
I am reluctant to have it but feel l must if l am to have a covid passport life.

I'm lucky all my friends are like myself, we are all eagerly waiting our turn. I don't think I could lose the friendship over one not having it though, but I would tell her how I feel about it all. I'm wondering would I even want to her to come in my home then to visit me when we are allowed, I really don't think so you know. I'll still be social distancing with that friend, so that means we wouldn't be doing our "normal" things together ever again, so where would our friendship end up.....

My dd had said she wouldn't have the vaccine.
I made it very clear I would not have her in the house if she refused. I haven't spent a year sheilding for nothing....
She's aware I mean what I say.
All because she's been listening to her friends conspiracy nonsense ?

I also have a friend who doesn't want it. I find this difficult to understand,. Although I haven't said anything, she can see by my expression when we've been facetiming, that I don't agree, also knows I've had my first jab. Although she and her family all had COVID, n non of them were very ill with it. Unlike my son who is still suffering 2 month later. Although I agree its a choice. I also think its a little selfish,as she also visits elderly parents.

Id be tempted to avoid her until the pandemic is over. If she chooses not to have the jab, she risks picking up the virus and spreading it to others. We will.only be free of this os ndenic when the majority of people are vaccinated. We have a friend like this, he's got sucked in by the conspiracy theories. We'll wait for him to come to his senses before resuming the friendship as he's become obsessed and argumentative and rants if we ring him. I bet she'll change her tune when others are able to go on holiday with a vaccine passport and maybe some pubs and restaurants start asking for a vaccine passport.