Friendship vs vaccination

I hate to think how many friendships have been lost over covid vaccinations. I've always felt anti vaxers are selfish. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. Maybe talk to her normally and see where the land lies and stay off the covid subject.

I have two daughters, one is for vaccination the other is against. I have told them both not to ask me if I’m having it as I know one of them will be upset.

I think the worst aspect of this is that it really changes our opinion of our friend. I'm not so friendly now - how can I be, when I see her as obstinate, deluded, selfish, antisocial and potentially contaminated?

I know someone who is not having the vaccine because she has poor health and has also had reactions to medications in the past.
She has read of serious effects and even people dying, apparently brought about by the vaccine, and she does not want to take the risk.

I do not expect others to keep me safe and am willing to take my chances . I know what to do, should I get Covid, in order to minimize its severity. I will not take the vaccine; have only taken the flu shot once and see no need for any repeats, even though I am getting older. I do not understand why healthy people are not willing to trust their immune system. And, just like I want anyone to have the freedom to be vaccinated if that makes them feel better, I want others to be able to decline without being made to feel like bad people for that decision. Sadly, declining the vaccine will likely mean I can never fly back to Holland again (from the U.S. where fortunately we do not live under lockdowns, fines and curfews, yet!) to see my elderly siblings and their families. It is not right to be coerced into taking a vaccine that is not yet proven safe in the long run, as in years from now . Only time will tell. It may be OK for the elderly, but it is unconscionable to make it mandatory for healthy and younger people, let alone children who have decades of living ahead of them and who may get to experience adverse effects in the future.

These restrictions have caused lots of tensions between friends and family members. Even more than Brexit in my experience - and that's saying something. If I could possibly help it, I wouldn't let either issue lead to estrangement with my friends and relatives. But it takes two to tango - and to maintain loving and accepting relationships.

I still can’t stand the people that in the midst of a pandemic to save lives decide not to have a vaccine.
We have had so many foreign people getting into the UK bringing in diseases that was once wiped out and now we will have non vaccinaters making this more of a dangerous world for our children and grandchildren.
Look at the statistics of Asian countries that wear masks as a necessary piece of kit.
They don’t have anywhere near the deaths that we do.
Our society is under the illusion that we always be saved. We are getting soft in the UK and take our NHS for granted.
I hope that these people who have no health reasons not to take the vaccine regret there choice , call me cruel but they are nothing less than killers.

funoma I love the US but l feel that it’s such a huge place that some of the people that live there don’t look outside of it.
President Trump did some good things with relationships between North and South Korea and even China but he did nothing for the spread of Covid19. I sometimes think due to the size of this amazing USA some of it’s people are blinkered to how things are outside in the rest of the world.
I’m not trying to be inflammatory but look at our statistics here in the UK.

So many people in my circle have died of COVID. The most recent a previously very fit and healthy family man of 40 with two children of 10 and 14. I have been left with heart failure after catching a virus last March. I wasn’t tested at the time because I hadn’t been abroad. I now believe that this was COVID and the heart failure team are not arguing with me. I can understand someone being fearful and those who have concerns because of the misinformation centred around cultural or religious beliefs. I think sympathetic reassurance and accurate information is the way forward for them. Those who deliberately tout bonkers conspiracy theories are not only idiots, but in my opinion are wicked. If you chose not to have the vaccine yourself, fine, you’re an idiot, but fine. If you try to encourage others to make the same idiotic and life threatening choice it becomes a far more serious situation.

mama66 this is seriously awful for you not only loosing friends but being ill leaving you with a heart condition. I’m sorry for your life having been devastated by this terrible virus l hope that your heart failure condition gets managed well and controlled.
Let’s face it the world never expected this and unless it’s a whole team affect we will need years to get rid of it, if ever with mutations.
Personally I haven’t lost anyone or been affected by illness only the isolation so l am grateful. But it’s the ignorance of people that will make it years before it’s less threatening. I reckon that it’s going to take for more people to suffer personally from death of their loved ones to make them take vaccines. By then the virus will have mutated hundreds of times and it will never be completely gone.

I was shocked to hear a report today that Hampshire have now ordered the vaccine to all NHS workers, but 1 in 10 of them refused to have it. Only 90% of them got vaccinated, yet the major site of virus spread was within hospital and health care situations. Surely the employers should be able to say they must have the jab. If I have to go to hospital for any reason I shall be looking at the staff and hoping that the ones that refused to help protect themselves and others don't come near me, after all, if they won't take that one small step, did they keep to lockdown? do they follow hygiene recommendations?

I see my auto correct changed my wording from offered the vaccine to ordered, there has been no ordering!

I have this situation with a friend who is a conspiracy theorist. I was very confused after reading and watching a lot of stuff on the internet that scared so decided not to have the jab. However, after watching the recent Panorama program and attending a virtual meeting with regards to mis information I’m more able to make an informed decision and have booked it. After speaking to my friend she told me her mum had the jab and they have fallen out, she hasn’t spoken to her mum for weeks! I don’t want to tell her about my decision so I’ve decided rightly or wrongly not to tell her unless she asks me directly then I will tell her. I certainly don’t want to fall out with her and believe everyone is entitled to an opinion. Take Care keep safexx

Dolphin74, do you really want to keep company with someone who cuts off her mother for the crime of having the vaccine ?

PamelaJ1 it’s her choice not to have the vaccination and it’s your choice not to treat anyone who may expose you to covid as that will affect your business a lot more than losing 1 client.

The government and scientists have made it very clear that if you have the vaccine, you can still get the virus and you can still pass it on to others. The only benefit is that you may not get it so badly that you need hospitalisation. What they have not made so clear is that this is an experimental jab, currently in phase 3 trials of which we are a part. The trials are due to end early in 2023.

That is alarming to think of, Anne2108.
It's pretty much what I thought the situation was but instead of that we keep hearing stuff about 'getting back to normal'.

Nicegranny you're right, I think, that we should continue to use masks.
That could actually be more useful than getting a jag then rushing back to 'normal' which seems to be the UK government's plan.
I suspect, tho, that widespread mask wearing won't continue unless there is legislation on it.

It’s funny you should ask, as I had a phone call yesterday from a friend and she was telling me that her other close friend had really disappointed her by not following rules all through lockdown, generally behaving as though nothing wrong.
This friend has asked her numerous times to call around for coffee, which my friend has refused but she now says that her feelings towards this friend have changed. She can’t help feeling resentful towards her and has seen her in a different light.
Even so, she said that she will still be friends with her when all this is over.
I feel she is right, we shouldn’t lose friends because of these weird times we are living in.

Anne2108, that is not true. All the vaccines used in the UK have gone through all their safety trials. See this article from the BBC.
www.bbc.com/news/health-55056016

I think you might be a bit behind with the current research findings Anne2018. It’s true that to begin with nobody knew if the vaccines would be effective in reducing transmission.

The research from Israel shows that infection in vaccinated care staff was 80% less than in an unvaccinated group. Figures in care staff in England show a similar, if slightly decreased, pattern.

The evidence currently is that the vaccines prevent infection as well as severe illness.

Advisory Board UK

Patsie I have a friend who has refused the vaccine too. It has affected my feelings about her as I feel she’s being irrational and selfish - she is more likely to infect other people than if she had the jab. I have known her think irrationally before, but not this badly. I suspect irrational fear is at the bottom of it.

I still want to be friends with her, but I will be doubtful about hugging her now. I don’t want to catch any variants I’m not well protected against.

I would refuse to treat her to protect all your other customers Pamela.

Patsie I know someone who has also refused to have the vaccine. As with Skye17 it's affected my feelings towards her; in fact it's compounded my view that she's utterly selfish. I expect if her decision results in any restriction of her freedom, eg travel, then she will change her mind.
I feel she doesn't value me as she won't engage in dialogue about her reasons. In my view a true friend would explore the issue.
She said: "Have decided not to have the vaccine and accept the full consequences of my decision".
I asked why she'd come to this decision and her reply was: "have looked at all the research and for now, my decision is no as far as the vaccine is concerned". I questioned her use of "all the research" - probably impossible (especially for a non-scientist!) and she didn't reply.
Patsie you pose the question Why do I feel so bad about the way I feel and how it's affected our friendship? I hope that reading through the posts may've helped you answer it. Perhaps your situation is similar to mine eg someone's behaviour confirms something that's been in the back of your mind for sometime. It sounds as though the dynamics of your friendship have changed. Most of us find change, or the thought of change, unsettling. I'm sure you'll find your way through, a day at a time.

Such a good friend that she's willing to put your health/life at risk. I'd say 'lovely knowing you, bye-bye'.

Totally agree