Covid 19 - A difficult situation.

You are doing exactly the right thing and this neighbour is a very silly and selfish person. They would have an absolute fit here if anyone did that and they would probably be named and shamed on the tv, not to mention receive a hefty fine. Stick to your guns!

You are totally doing the right thing. Lets hope there are no positive cases amongst your neighbours after their 'drinks' gathering.

You are definitely right whiterabbit . Your neighbour is being very selfish and your other neighbours who are meeting her for a drink are very silly. Try to ignore her nasty texts any sensible person can see that she is behaving badly.

Have you all been double vaccinated? If so, surely, you need to start to think about getting on with your lives.
If you and your hubbie do not wish to go to dinner party or drinks evening, then you just decline, and let othe people make their own decisions.
Not sure why you interfered and asked your neighbour to cancel the dinner party - just had to tell her that you would not be attending.
'Jane' is obviously feeling rather stressed out with having her son positive with this illness. Is he actually ill? - you mention 'feeding him', does that mean she supplies his meals, or is actually having to feed him? If he is that poorly, how much are the health services involved?

I would feel exactly the same as you, WhiteRabbit57, but you have to stick to your guns when you know you’re doing the right thing. It’s a difficult thing to do and will take a lot of resolve (and angst!) on your part. You have your husband’s full backup. “Jane” will come round, in time. It’s a horrible situation, but “Jane” is being selfish and thoughtless.

White Rabbit57, Jane is being completely unreasonable. What is she thinking about! If we were in your situation there is no way we would be going for dinner or drinks. Your DH was being very sensible to put his foot down. Your neighbours will know how stupid the decision for dinner was and are trying to pacify Jane with a drinks only evening. However they are misguided, a drinks evening is a dangerous venture. I realize how hard this is for you in your small community, and although Jane is behaving very badly towards you I feel sure the rest of your neighbours know in their heart of hearts you and your husband have made the correct decision. I hope they also change their minds about the drinks evening. Don't let this situation get to you , you won't loose neighbourly respect over this. They know you are right and should follow your example. Smile , enjoy today .

Tbh I wouldn’t expect my neighbour to be kitted out in PPE to look after her son.He can’t be ill enough to require hospital treatment, so she is just making sure he is alright and not on his own. Am sure she will wear a mask around him.
On the other point of meeting indoors for meals and drinks, then that’s different and I don’t blame you for not socialising with her...and she should understand that stance from all her neighbours.
She does what’s best for her son, and you do what’s best for you.
Say that to her, and say ‘no hard feelings’.If she continues to be
Unpleasant then you will have to cut her out of your life, who needs neighbours like that?!

You aren't wrong. Jane needs to accept we all make our own choices around Covid that might not be what she would do.

I totally understand her caring for her son though. I would do the same. I wouldn't constantly wear PPE, just a mask. Especially if I'd got vaccinated fully.

People can get ill with the Delta variant even if they are double vaccinated. That can be very unpleasant.
You were completely right to tell the host your reason for not wanting to attend. It was up to her if she did anything further about it.
Surely the regulations say that Jane should not be mixing with others as she is in a household with a covid infected person.

I fully understand your neighbour’s desire to look after her son. I’m sure most of us would feel the same way. However she should be isolating and I’m horrified that she thinks it’s ok to have dinner or drinks with others. Two jabs don’t give 100% protection against catching or passing the virus on. It shouldn’t have been left to you to alert the dinner party hosts. How very selfish and ignorant she sounds. I’m absolutely on your side, I’d have done exactly the same and I can’t understand why the hosts are trying to pacify her with drinks, if inside just as dangerous as dinner. What an unpleasant situation this woman has caused. I hope she sees sense and relations return to normal before long.

The doctors from Australia,that do a web chat on Dr Johns blog have said that someone caught the virus from someone by being in reasonably close contact with someone for a few seconds. And that in households where someone has the virus it’s almost impossibly not to catch it, no matter how careful you are. This is why the virus has caught hold and spread so fast here. People coming back from India passed it on to members if their households and then went out into the community and spread it. I can understand the neighbour wanting to look after her son: I’d probably do the same, but she shouldn’t mix with other people.

Absolute right decision, hold your head high…??

and that in households where someone has the virus it’s almost impossible not to catch it, no matter how careful you are.

That's not true.

Never has been, and now we have the vaccine, its less likely.

The ill son should be properly self isolating though, which means no visitors to the house.

You did the right thing. I hope our support has helped you.

You say the friend wears a mask but I hope her son is also wearing one.

Your doing the right think in my view. If this proposed indoors dinner was more than 6 from different households it was breaking guidelines anyway.

Jane has been in contact with someone with covid, she has 8 more days to isolate!

Your neighbour should really have left her son where he was isolating to look after him. I would keep well away don't feel like an outsider there is no point. Safety is what matters under the circumstances and you are being sensible.

What an odd situation. I can appreciate Jane looking after her son, about which you are rather disparaging, but she would need to self-isolate and not attend the dinner party anyway. It would have been more tactful to have discussed the situation with her first before persuading the hostess to postpone it.
Now there is to be a drinks party to comfort Jane, who must self-isolate, thereby putting themselves at risk. As your husband has 'put his foot down' you wouldn't attend anyway. Text Jane and say you are sorry she is upset but it is not safe to meet while she is self-isolating, and send the same to the erstwhile hostess. Then leave the matter alone and take care not to mingle with the neighbours until the son, and Jane, are given the all-clear.

You are quite right. Your neighbour can't have it both ways and just wish away the risk. It's understandable that she wants to look after her son but unreasonable that she wants to continue with a social event in her own house as well. Don't worry. I'm sure your other neighbours will understand your point of view.

A friend is currenly self isolating after being contacted by Track and trace. No symptoms and just a passing contact somewhere but the rules are simple. I don't understand why your friend doesn't know this or why she hasn't been contacted and told to self isolate.
If I were you I'd send this to her and to everyone on the drinks invitation list. www.gov.uk/government/publications/guidance-for-contacts-of-people-with-possible-or-confirmed-coronavirus-covid-19-infection-who-do-not-live-with-the-person/guidance-for-contacts-of-people-with-possible-or-confirmed-coronavirus-covid-19-infection-who-do-not-live-with-the-person

What Franbern said.

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your support. I really mean that. For those who say I have been ‘disparaging’ about Jane caring for her son, I have not. I offered my full support. I said I’d go shopping for her, offered her rubber gloves etc but she thanked me and turned me down.

I also asked if she was self isolating and needed back up she said she didn’t need to and she had a friend in that afternoon.

This morning I talked to my physio who backed me to the hilt. She agreed with most of what has been said on this thread and added that the Delta variant is very virulent and spreading fast. She underlined that everyone should still be very careful and for the record, in her words, ‘to hold a drinks gathering in circumstances such as this ‘pure madness.’’

So, thank you all of you for your help. I may be ostracised but I know that my DH and I are safe and I hope you all stay safe too.

Jane's son actually has the disease, and she collected him from town, presumably in her car? So she's a definite contact and should be self-isolating for ten days.
She shouldn't have a friend in for the afternoon or be going to another house for dinner or drinks.
What sort of neighbourhood tyrant is she that the other neighbours feel they must put themselves at risk to placate her? They must all be bonkers!!
Well done you and your husband for having the sense to do the right thing. I hope the other neighbours don't live to regret their foolhardy decision.
Time will tell ?