Christmas with the vaccine refusers??

I think there will be a few families that will be in the same situation.
All of my family (apart possibly from the 8 year old and 7 year old great nieces) and we are planning a family get together hopefully between Christmas and New Year.
I would hope that DiL is aware of your health issues and will either get vaccinated (you didn't say why she wasn't yet) or respect your wishes and come up with an idea that means you can all get together at some point.
Ours will possibly be sitting outside in the garden, under a large gazebo with a couple of fire baskets nearby, eating barbecued food , wearing our coats with fleecy blankets !

the majority of people who got seriously ill with Covid and died were over 70 year olds

That's not exactly a comforting thought for most on this site, taliyah.

When you go in a shop or cafe etc you are around loads of people

I'm not, and many others will be the same.
I shop at quiet times and many people only shop online.
I never go to cafes now.

Grammaretto

I hosted a wedding recently in my garden. We all had lateral flow tests beforehand and wore masks during the ceremony.
It was outdoors of course so not really comparable to your situation.
DS has had one vaccine but took a bad reaction so isn't planning a 2nd.
The vaccine is not 100% effective.

Your DS will have a far worse "reaction" if he gets covid!!! Alot of people have felt rough after having the first vaccine, myself included. My good friend who is a retired immunologist says that those who have had a "reaction" after the vaccine, may have had mild covid at some point. Having an A and E doctor daughter who has admitted many a very sick patient, many of whom have unfortunately died of covid, to not be vaccinated fully is just plain madness, not only for your own health but other people's. I would not have anyone in my home who is not doubly vaccinated. And for all those cynics out there, we are never going to get rid of covid unless everyone gets doubly vaccinated and accepts the boosters. Those who refuse, in my opinion, should have restrictions put upon them. My daughter has not put her own life at risk over the past 18 months for idiotic people who refuse the correct dosage of the vaccine and continue spreading the virus throughout our society. In the past 100 years, if mass people had refused polio, rubella, diphtheria etc vaccines, we would still have these diseases rampaging through our society. Stop the selfish, uneducated reactions and get vaccinated!!

Taliya. Thank you for your kind words. FYI we are not shopping or going into cafes.

Thanks for the responses. It does seem that we are not alone. I get on well with my DiL, she is an intelligent, caring person. I can't help but think that testing is an added layer of protection.
Calliston, their risk from the virus is much less than ours, DH is elderly and ECV while they have age and good health on their side. The official advice my husband received clearly states that he should think about extra things he can do to keep himself and others safe. It includes 'considering whether those you are meeting have been vaccinated.' Plus everything else we are all tired of.

FGS get things into perspective!If you are double jabbed you will be fine I'm sure...that is why older people get vaccinated. These vaccines are not without higher risks for younger people and its a personal medical decision. Its been shown that the fully vaccinated can still get the virus and pass it on but most likely won't get seriously ill with it and the majority of people who got seriously ill with Covid and died were over 70 year olds. If you have been vaccinated why are you worrying. When you go in a shop or cafe etc you are around loads of people that may not have been vaccinated especially 20 and 30 year olds.

I would request that everyone planning to visit at Christmas, vaccinated or unvaccinated, does a test. We need to remember that being vaccinated does not make us unable to catch or transmit the infection, but it does protect us from serious symptoms, so in fact the unvaccinated are more at risk than the vaccinated when we all mix at Christmas.

I wouldn’t do it. Just explain that with your DHs health issues you’d rather not take the risk.

Peasblossom thank you for that very clear and detailed description of how the two different tests work.

Well said Callistemon, the voice of reason.

If you are vaccinated you could still give the virus to them.

You may not be ill yourself and in fact they may or may not be very ill if they caught it from you.
Their risk is greater than yours.

What bothers me is that your DIL is putting you in this position in the first place. Quite thoughtless. Has she no concern for your husband's welfare?

I would not worry about causing any upset. Thye are causing you upset!!!

Marmight. Just to say Lateral Flow tests detect surface proteins present when a person is infectious. PCR tests detect genetic material from the virus which can be present for weeks after infection.

The purpose of lateral flow is to pick up infection before symptoms and stop you spreading it. The purpose of PCR is to confirm the infection if there are symptoms. At which point the surface proteins may not be present to give a positive result on a lateral flow.

It’s really not a case of what to believe. They each do their job.

To be honest Newquay, if you’re going to see them indoors for half an hour, you might as well stay as far as infections concerned ?

I would want them all to take a test before coming. Poor you Newquay. Why can people be averse to taking a test? It would make me very sad not to see family at Christmas just because they won’t even test, but that would be what I would do. Maybe that ultimatum will make them see sense. I wouldn’t even visit them briefly indoors if they haven’t all tested negative.

DDs friend is doubly vaccinated having had Covid last Christmas. She’s now tested positive again and is quite unwell. Her husband tested positive after PCR then took a lateral flow test which showed a negative result. Who is to know what to believe?
Common sense and doing what you feel comfortable with is the only way to go it seems.

We have the same problem-local DD1 and her DH and family, lovely intelligent people, are firm anti vax, even anti test it seems.
We’re supposed to be going to them for meals Christmas and Boxing Days.
I would be happier if they at least would test.
I therefore just don’t want to go.
DH fears to will cause upset-which it’s likely to do.
We have had robust conversations with them but have to agree to differ.
I want to stay safely at home and just visit them briefly.
It’s all SO difficult isn’t it?

I do think it's more important that people test rather than whether they have had the vacinne or not.
Being vaccinated would be fine if it stopped you getting the virus or transmitting it but it doesn't It may cut the chance down but it doesn't irradicat it.

Isn’t it stressful to add this worry to the inevitable stresses that the Christmas period brings.
All we can do is reflect on what makes us feel safer and make decisions aroundbthst

Get them to do a test before they visit, you do one too. Lucky girl, I to feel these anti vaxers, with silly conspiracy theories are putting the rest of us and NHS at risk and would rather not have them in the house,but to avoid a big fall out with family you have to bite the bullet. I hope we can avoid having them at big gatherings like cinema and theatres etc.,as I don’t want to:sit next to them. I won’t go until they do or Covids gone.

As someone, who is ECV and immunosuppressed, I wouldn't want anyone unvaccinated in my home. I have been advised I wouldn't survive if I caught Covid. For that reason, my family are all doubly vaccinated and do a test before coming to visit in order to protect me.
It's a very difficult position to be in, I hope you can resolve things.

Luckygirl, I happen to agree with you!

Could you say please can they all do a test before they come and so will you and your DH to try and keep everyone safe?

What does DH want?
Last year when my DH was at the end of his life, even the doctor said that for him, seeing family was more important than the coronavirus at that time and he was overjoyed to see the DC and DGC none of whom had been vaccinated back then. Masks were worn by the adults and care was taken. No-one was infected.

your husband's health is far more important than what anyone may think of you.