Christmas with the vaccine refusers??

It's up to you how you manage your risks as you understand them, and so it seems to me that if you would feel uncomfortable having non-vaccinated people to stay, nobody should be able to make you have them. Just be truthful and explain why you feel uncomfortable, and then stick to your guns. Good luck!

I wouldn’t take the risk of exposing myself to them. You are not OTT, they are lacking common sense. If they choose to be offended by you protecting yourself, that’s their problem.

I'm lucky that I don't have any unvaccinated (that can be vaccinated) in my family. I feel for you Daisymae it's an awkward situation. I think you just have to be firm that as your husband is ECV and there are other health issues, you have to be absolute in your precautions. Winter time sees the onset of so many other viruses, so combined with the ongoing Covid threat you're going to have to decline social mixing this Christmas. Maybe even to the point of 'agreeing' that you may be OTT but that's what is needed for any degree of peace of mind.

Can you ask if they will take tests before coming over, given your husbands health problems? That is, if you really want them to come, of course. If it was me, I would ask all of them to take a test - having the vaccine will not stop someone getting covid or spreading it. Then your DiL wouldn't feel you were getting at her in particular.

As people that have been vacinatted can still transmit the virus I wouldn't treat them any differently as I don't have anyone that is ECV
If you are concerned ask all guests if they would test before they arrive

I would ask for negative tests
Also, get ready for your son and family not to join you this year

We will be taking tests ahead of our guests arriving and will ask them to do tests too , regardless of their vaccination status .
It works both ways as we can all transmit the virus.

I hosted a wedding recently in my garden. We all had lateral flow tests beforehand and wore masks during the ceremony.
It was outdoors of course so not really comparable to your situation.
DS has had one vaccine but took a bad reaction so isn't planning a 2nd.
The vaccine is not 100% effective.

I don't have contact with ANYONE other than my close family and friends, regardless of vaccinated or not. So in your place, I would only spend time with them outside OR wearing a mask.

But we all chose our own risks. It's a series of checks and balances.

Good advice above.

But I would struggle on another level - having vaccine refusers sharing my Christmas celebrations would irk me a great deal. I would prefer to celebrate with people who have common sense and a concern for others around them.

I am about to get jumped on I fear!!!

I can understand your reluctance, it's very tricky.

If you are not happy having them then that's that. Entirely up to you.

The idea of a lateral flow test prior to any event I feel is sensible and not difficult for anyone to do. We recently attended a wedding and that was a requirement. I also took tests following the wedding day to ensure I was ok before I met up with friends. I think if you are concerned and think your DIL will be upset if you discuss it with her it may be worth using a white lie by saying the GP doesn't recommend mixing with unvaccinated due to ongoing health issues.

your husband's health is far more important than what anyone may think of you.

What does DH want?
Last year when my DH was at the end of his life, even the doctor said that for him, seeing family was more important than the coronavirus at that time and he was overjoyed to see the DC and DGC none of whom had been vaccinated back then. Masks were worn by the adults and care was taken. No-one was infected.

Could you say please can they all do a test before they come and so will you and your DH to try and keep everyone safe?

Luckygirl, I happen to agree with you!

As someone, who is ECV and immunosuppressed, I wouldn't want anyone unvaccinated in my home. I have been advised I wouldn't survive if I caught Covid. For that reason, my family are all doubly vaccinated and do a test before coming to visit in order to protect me.
It's a very difficult position to be in, I hope you can resolve things.

Get them to do a test before they visit, you do one too. Lucky girl, I to feel these anti vaxers, with silly conspiracy theories are putting the rest of us and NHS at risk and would rather not have them in the house,but to avoid a big fall out with family you have to bite the bullet. I hope we can avoid having them at big gatherings like cinema and theatres etc.,as I don’t want to:sit next to them. I won’t go until they do or Covids gone.

Isn’t it stressful to add this worry to the inevitable stresses that the Christmas period brings.
All we can do is reflect on what makes us feel safer and make decisions aroundbthst

I do think it's more important that people test rather than whether they have had the vacinne or not.
Being vaccinated would be fine if it stopped you getting the virus or transmitting it but it doesn't It may cut the chance down but it doesn't irradicat it.

We have the same problem-local DD1 and her DH and family, lovely intelligent people, are firm anti vax, even anti test it seems.
We’re supposed to be going to them for meals Christmas and Boxing Days.
I would be happier if they at least would test.
I therefore just don’t want to go.
DH fears to will cause upset-which it’s likely to do.
We have had robust conversations with them but have to agree to differ.
I want to stay safely at home and just visit them briefly.
It’s all SO difficult isn’t it?

DDs friend is doubly vaccinated having had Covid last Christmas. She’s now tested positive again and is quite unwell. Her husband tested positive after PCR then took a lateral flow test which showed a negative result. Who is to know what to believe?
Common sense and doing what you feel comfortable with is the only way to go it seems.

I would want them all to take a test before coming. Poor you Newquay. Why can people be averse to taking a test? It would make me very sad not to see family at Christmas just because they won’t even test, but that would be what I would do. Maybe that ultimatum will make them see sense. I wouldn’t even visit them briefly indoors if they haven’t all tested negative.

Marmight. Just to say Lateral Flow tests detect surface proteins present when a person is infectious. PCR tests detect genetic material from the virus which can be present for weeks after infection.

The purpose of lateral flow is to pick up infection before symptoms and stop you spreading it. The purpose of PCR is to confirm the infection if there are symptoms. At which point the surface proteins may not be present to give a positive result on a lateral flow.

It’s really not a case of what to believe. They each do their job.

To be honest Newquay, if you’re going to see them indoors for half an hour, you might as well stay as far as infections concerned ?