Christmas with the vaccine refusers??

The idea of a lateral flow test prior to any event I feel is sensible and not difficult for anyone to do. We recently attended a wedding and that was a requirement. I also took tests following the wedding day to ensure I was ok before I met up with friends. I think if you are concerned and think your DIL will be upset if you discuss it with her it may be worth using a white lie by saying the GP doesn't recommend mixing with unvaccinated due to ongoing health issues.

I can understand your reluctance, it's very tricky.

If you are not happy having them then that's that. Entirely up to you.

Good advice above.

But I would struggle on another level - having vaccine refusers sharing my Christmas celebrations would irk me a great deal. I would prefer to celebrate with people who have common sense and a concern for others around them.

I am about to get jumped on I fear!!!

I don't have contact with ANYONE other than my close family and friends, regardless of vaccinated or not. So in your place, I would only spend time with them outside OR wearing a mask.

But we all chose our own risks. It's a series of checks and balances.

I hosted a wedding recently in my garden. We all had lateral flow tests beforehand and wore masks during the ceremony.
It was outdoors of course so not really comparable to your situation.
DS has had one vaccine but took a bad reaction so isn't planning a 2nd.
The vaccine is not 100% effective.

We will be taking tests ahead of our guests arriving and will ask them to do tests too , regardless of their vaccination status .
It works both ways as we can all transmit the virus.

I would ask for negative tests
Also, get ready for your son and family not to join you this year

As people that have been vacinatted can still transmit the virus I wouldn't treat them any differently as I don't have anyone that is ECV
If you are concerned ask all guests if they would test before they arrive

Can you ask if they will take tests before coming over, given your husbands health problems? That is, if you really want them to come, of course. If it was me, I would ask all of them to take a test - having the vaccine will not stop someone getting covid or spreading it. Then your DiL wouldn't feel you were getting at her in particular.

I'm lucky that I don't have any unvaccinated (that can be vaccinated) in my family. I feel for you Daisymae it's an awkward situation. I think you just have to be firm that as your husband is ECV and there are other health issues, you have to be absolute in your precautions. Winter time sees the onset of so many other viruses, so combined with the ongoing Covid threat you're going to have to decline social mixing this Christmas. Maybe even to the point of 'agreeing' that you may be OTT but that's what is needed for any degree of peace of mind.

I wouldn’t take the risk of exposing myself to them. You are not OTT, they are lacking common sense. If they choose to be offended by you protecting yourself, that’s their problem.

It's up to you how you manage your risks as you understand them, and so it seems to me that if you would feel uncomfortable having non-vaccinated people to stay, nobody should be able to make you have them. Just be truthful and explain why you feel uncomfortable, and then stick to your guns. Good luck!