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AIBU to want to pull out of this birthday party

(23 Posts)
abby0950 Sat 19-Mar-22 11:03:17

My DH and I have been invited to a 40th birthday party this week with around 70 others. We are in our late 70s and although I would love to go, the numbers of rising infections really worry me - 1 in 14 are supposedly infected at the moment and rising. As there will be a lot of family at this event I am envisaging all the hugging, kissing, dancing and laughing. We have accepted but want to pull out. AIBU?

Sparklefizz Sat 19-Mar-22 11:12:32

No, you're not being unreasonable. I wouldn't go.

Sarnia Sat 19-Mar-22 11:13:36

You are not being unreasonable just cautious. As you say, infections are rising, Covid is still here. If I were in your shoes, I would go, providing you and your husband are fully jabbed. If you want to deter others from kissing you, wear a face mask. That would be a visual sign not to get too tactile. At the end of the day you have to make the decision you feel is right for you. Nobody should be annoyed or disappointed with you should you decide to stay at home.

Iam64 Sat 19-Mar-22 11:14:19

I’d feel the same, I wouldn’t go

Jane43 Sat 19-Mar-22 11:24:17

That is a big crowd of people if it is inside. If you are vulnerable you would be sensible to decline the invitation. After being careful for the past few years I tested positive for Covid yesterday, I have no idea how I contracted it, probably on the bus as very few people have been wearing masks recently. I am 78 and so far have had mild symptoms starting with a dry cough and sore throat and now it is similar to a cold but of course it is different for everybody.

Mollygo Sat 19-Mar-22 11:36:30

If you’re not comfortable about going, don’t go. You won’t enjoy it if you have to worry all the time you’re there in case you catch Covid. You can still send your best wishes and whatever gift you were giving. YANBU

farview Sun 20-Mar-22 08:26:41

Not sure that I would go the party,..last Sunday we had some of our children and grandchildren here...about 12 of us...3,including myself are now quite poorly with covid now...

snowberryZ Sun 20-Mar-22 08:41:57

I wouldn't go.
I know people are saying it's only mild and that we need to get back to normal but there's no way of knowing until you get it whether you will have it mild. Or not.

And unlike flu, it can leave a person with long term problems.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 20-Mar-22 08:46:27

I agree with snowberry. I wouldn’t go.

MawtheMerrier Sun 20-Mar-22 08:47:36

If everybody going had undertaken to test on the day I would go, but if not…discretion is the better part etc etc.
Two of our family birthday gatherings have been cancelled in the last 3 weeks because somebody tested positive , even although they felt fine.
It’s the way of things alas. But cases are on the up so you are perfectly justified.

Blondiescot Sun 20-Mar-22 08:48:11

I wouldn't go either. I know more people now who have covid than at any time since the whole pandemic started. My daughter and her fiance both have it just now - and are convinced they caught it at a charity evening they attended, which would be a gathering of around the same amount of people.

Pepper59 Sun 20-Mar-22 08:54:06

This is going to be the difficulty with large gatherings from now on. I am in a similar quandary and won't be attending large gatherings. I find fit people really don't understand how ill you can be with Covid-19 and most folk now seem to think it's all over. People cough, splutter all over the place, no masks, no handkerchiefs. I fear Im going to be offending an awful lot of people in future. So be it, it's not them in bed ill with breathing difficulties. I'm not risking my health for a party. Happy to send a gift with good wishes.

Pepper59 Sun 20-Mar-22 08:56:05

Also not everyone tests and not everyone believes that Covid-19 is a problem or even exists! I hope they never find out it actually does.

rosie1959 Sun 20-Mar-22 09:00:21

If you are not comfortable don't go it's not worth the worry for you and you are not being unreasonable.
Everyone is totally justified is making the decision that they feel comfortable with

Socksandsocks01 Sun 20-Mar-22 09:09:40

Don't go and don't be afraid to say why. You have kept yourselves safe up to now. Trust your own instincts that's what they are for.

Caleo Sun 20-Mar-22 09:51:52

Go if you like, but wear good face masks plus perspex face shields with some sort of amusing transfers on them ?

At the very least you may provide the others with some entertainment although you will be unable to eat or drink.

With covid on the rise again I'd not go at all but I'd not like a party that size anyway, so if there were not covid I'd have diarrhoea for an excuse if I needed one.

maddyone Sun 20-Mar-22 10:00:10

I don’t think I’d go.

ayse Sun 20-Mar-22 10:04:05

I’d certainly not go to a busy lots of people gathering as it seems the best way of catching Covid as my DD did not so long ago and isolated for 12 days after. My health is more important than any party right now.

GagaJo Sun 20-Mar-22 10:06:20

The way I see it, some exposure is unavoidable. So risk can't be completely eliminated. But a party is unnecessary risk.

Nonogran Sun 20-Mar-22 10:52:35

I would decline.
The human body reacts in different ways to Covid (& virus’ in general) so clearly demonstrated by those who recover & those who don’t.
Even if fully vaccinated, who needs the hassle & worry if you catch it?
My chap went to a rugby function & caught an infection at the crowded club house. It’s too easy to relax within the bonhomie of a party & come away with more than you bargained on.
In your shoes? I’d definitely not go!

Daisymae Sun 20-Mar-22 11:12:34

I would not go, and I would say why. You are being perfectly reasonable. Many people are not testing full stop. According to current rates there's bound to be a few people attending who have covid. This will not worry some people but more concerning for others.

H1954 Sun 20-Mar-22 11:17:42

I would be tempted to stay away too. You might find that you're not the only ones staying away too.

I used to volunteer for a local charity until mobility issues forced me to retire, I was chatting to the Manager on the phone last night and over half of our team, young and not so young, have Covid and cannot attend events.

lixy Sun 20-Mar-22 11:18:27

I wouldn't go and I would explain why.

We have tickets to see Johannes dance next weekend but I'm thinking really hard about whether we should go to that, and beginning to think that we'd better not, especially as planning to visit my Mum the next day for Mother's Day.