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Think husband has Covid and not respecting me.

(18 Posts)
Jezra Sun 10-Apr-22 20:53:30

Think my husband has Covid. Has all the symptoms. However, I’m trying to keep my distance from him as much as possible. He’s sleeping in an armchair at night because lying in bed just chokes him up and he can’t breathe.
During the day and evening he is continually coughing and breathing out loudly (sighing) but every time I ask him to cover his mouth with his hand he complains that I’m being dramatic!
I cook nutritious meals for him, smoothies, Vit c drinks etc. Take them up to him if he’s in bed. I’m not feeling 100% although not nearly so bad as him. I really don’t want what he’s got and yet he breathes over me at every opportunity! Have ordered LFT’s online but they haven’t come yet and he’s on day 4 of this. Would I have caught it by now if I was going to?

Celiawebb Sun 10-Apr-22 21:00:19

He should respect that you don't want it. If you're ok it leaves you free to look after him too.

LOUISA1523 Sun 10-Apr-22 21:02:14

Not could catch it when he's day 10 if he's still infectious...then not show symptoms yourself for a couple of days.

SueDonim Sun 10-Apr-22 21:08:57

Respect runs two ways. If he is not respecting your health and well-being then you need not respect his need for care. He can look after himself.

I think with Omicron it’s very difficult to avoid because it’s so transmittable. You could catch it at any point. Maybe keep the windows open and wear a mask if you’re anywhere near your Dh indoors.

rosie1959 Sun 10-Apr-22 21:11:56

Really unless the infected person is going to stay in one room and use a separate bathroom trying to stop transmission is pretty pointless
My husband had it first followed by me two days later I would not have known I had it unless I had been testing I had no symptoms whatsoever.
He had a mild cold and was quite able to carry on working as he works from home

Hithere Sun 10-Apr-22 21:33:36

Chances are you already have it

MawtheMerrier Sun 10-Apr-22 22:04:25

Can’t you just stay in another room if you feel he is breathing over you at every opportunity ? He doesn’t seem to be sleeping with you, at least.
Hard to stop breathing without the obvious consequences!
Out of interest, do you both behave like this when you have had flu in the past?
You probably would have got it by now, given the timing, but I am not seeing what you call a lack of respect - just normal manflu behaviour.

BigBertha1 Sun 10-Apr-22 22:25:40

In sickness and in health. If you both had flu you would just live together normally and wait for it to pass. Take care of each other and don't count points.

Jezra Sun 10-Apr-22 22:35:56

Thanks guys. I suppose I’m overreacting somewhat! Managed to avoid it for two years but I guess it’s inevitable eventually.
Makes me nervous none the less.

Cabbie21 Mon 11-Apr-22 08:47:25

I have just had it. At the first symptoms I moved into the spare room, but we still spent evenings together, so Iguess that it was inevitable that DH got it too. He is breathing and sneezing everywhere. As was said earlier unless you can keep totally separate, there is not a lot you can do to avoid catching it. I know what you mean though about avoiding it for two years and getting it now.

Marydoll Mon 11-Apr-22 09:07:41

As soon as I knew my DGD was positive, we tested daily. Despite initially testing negative, DH displayed symptoms, so we slept in separate rooms, used different bathrooms and living areas. He eventually tested positive. He uses a mask, if he needs to change rooms and I move well away.
He caught it from my DGD over a week ago. I was in contact with her at the same time and remain negative.
Hopefully our precautions have worked, as I am CEV, but I am not being complacent. I test daily to make sure I am OK.

Obviously some people won't have enough rooms to isolate in, we are very fortunate in that respect and that the Scottish Govt. were still offering free lateral flow tests. I managed to order another box this morning. DH was contacted minutes after recording his positive test, checking on his health.

Frankly, I think your husband is disrespecting you, by not respecting your health and doing what he can, to avoid giving it to you. I suspect it may be too late now.
Hopefully you will be OK.

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 11-Apr-22 09:10:20


In sickness and in health. If you both had flu you would just live together normally and wait for it to pass. Take care of each other and don't count points.

Trouble is, in my experience men are awful patients! Whatever they have, their suffering is so much worse than anyone else’s!

Marydoll Mon 11-Apr-22 09:18:28



In sickness and in health. If you both had flu you would just live together normally and wait for it to pass. Take care of each other and don't count points.

Trouble is, in my experience men are awful patients! Whatever they have, their suffering is so much worse than anyone else’s!

I agree with that, GSM. My husband is driving me mad, despite four star nursing treatment and Cordon Bleu meals ( he is hungry all the time!) on wheels, he has become a super version of Victor Meldrew. My tongue is raw, from biting it.
Today may be the day, I explode! ?

Daisymae Mon 11-Apr-22 09:23:45

It's possible to be in the same house and not be infected, my DD managed to keep her husband in isolation although they do have 2 bathrooms which helped. No, I don't think that you are being dramatic at all. It everyone's responsibility to minimise the risk. He's being unreasonable, you need to do as much as possible to avoid this infection. If you are positive, I hope you have a mild form. Best wishes

Germanshepherdsmum Mon 11-Apr-22 09:27:00

You have my sympathy Marydoll!

Redhead56 Mon 11-Apr-22 09:53:15

Men (duck for cover) are worse than children when they are ill my BiL just had COVID very mild. My sister pampered to his needs what did he do when she got it went to work extra hours volunteering.

muse Mon 11-Apr-22 13:17:09

Sorry to read about your struggle Jezra .

I'm assuming that your DH has the omicron variant that is sweeping through the country at full speed. My DH tested +ive on Saturday morning. He felt ill Friday. We are 100% sure who he caught it from and where: Someone helping us one day on our new house build but they showed no sign of illness.! That was Tuesday. My DH hadn't been out away from our home for a month!

I have tested -ive twice now.

From what family and friends tell me, is that after 5 days of me being -ive, I shouldn't get it, but until then keep away from others and keep testing. We are having a long awaited short holiday in UK in two weeks time. This was planned and paid for 2 years ago to celebrate my 70th. My DH should show -ive by next weekend. I have my fingers ??

You don't say when you ordered the tests Jezra. I ordered a pack each for us from the site last Saturday. They have been delivered today. Just had the email. Our post gets left in our postbox at the end of the lane. We live in quite an isolated position. I'm hoping your test has arrived too.

Daisymae is right. Within our families, we have partners not getting infected. Children too. My DH's son text last night to say his wife and daughter had it again last month. He and his son have escaped again!

My DH is stubborn and will not give in to Covid. He slept all day yesterday but is up today wanting to get more plumbing done in our new home. Looking at him now, he will soon be asleep on the sofa. There is no way I could avoid being in the same room as him as we only have one room and a bedroom on a mezzanine level.

Don't pamper your's too much Jezra and I hope you are -ive too like me. Wear a mask and bring him one with his next cup of tea ?.

Keep in touch and let us all know how you are coping. Take care.

Thoro Mon 11-Apr-22 13:30:47

I had quite a bad bout of covid but had to continue caring for my husband as he has dementia (some days he did manage on biscuits!)
We sleep in separate rooms anyway (he has vivid dreams) and I wore a mask anywhere in the house apart from my room - I washed my hands frequently and especially before preparing his food. I’m pleased to say he didn’t catch it!