All good wishes to MrDoodle for tomorrows test.
I refer you to my previous famous last words though I'm sure you all know me far too well to think that'll shut me up! 
If you wish to read the Saturday Saga, read on:
If not, skip this post 
As you know, it was important to me to attend the Kawe Mate, despite our chairman's best efforts to prevent kaumatua going, by denying us the community van.
It’s hard to explain just how big an insult this was: to the Marae hosts who invited and expected kaumatua to be there; the bereaved families and indeed, to our elders themselves.
And in Maori terms, an unforgiveable slight to those who have died.
The ceremony began at 10am and although it’s just a short distance up the road, I can’t easily walk that far and the weather was dreadful.
So at 8.45 I phoned for a taxi, giving a bit of leeway for Saturday traffic and time for me to have a cuppa in the wharekai before the ceremony.
When the taxi hadn’t turned up by 9:40, I phoned - to be told there was no booking. 
I quoted the booking number and was assured I’d get a call-back. I’m still waiting. Is it Domesday yet? 
By 11.15 it was clear there would be no transport but I’d found live coverage of the Kawe Mate and tried to content myself with that, gnashing my teeth to see the smug chairman sitting there but NO kaumatua. Grrr.
Then I heard my neighbor start his car. He regularly walks round the park adjacent to the Marae.
I asked if he was going walking. He wasn’t but said he’d take me to the Memorial service.
I knew it probably wouldn’t finish until at least 12.30 so I could catch the last hour (sitting outside in the porch) a presence representing kaumatua...and then have lunch with everyone.
I hate imposing, especially as Ray’s not well, which is why I hadn’t asked him in the first place but he was very sweet and we were there in 5 minutes.
As usual, there was a Covid testing station at the entrance where every visitor had been poked up the nose before being allowed in.
So despite my negative test on Wednesday I was more than happy to take another, knowing how capricious this virus can be.
It was positive.
They very kindly found transport to take me home and said they would provide a food parcel for me because now of course, I must isolate.
Bless their hearts.
I gave Ray a box of RATs for himself and family but I’ll never forgive myself if he becomes ill through doing me a good turn.
This result also means I can’t have any homecare next week but I have A Cunning Plan. Karen doesn’t need to come into my house. She can collect the paid-for groceries and the Xmas gifts from another store and I will open my garage door remotely so she can deliver them.
A flawless ballet of no-contact. Neat eh?
Of course no housework gets done except by my sickly self, but who cares?
I haven't felt too bad until now, at 4pm and it's clear my temperature is going up like a rocket.
I've drunk enough water to float a battleship and will continue to do so - and probably toddle up the Wooden Hill to Bedfordshire by 6pm.
I'll listen to audio books and ponder on the kindness of strangers.
And friends.
for Monday so I may get the laundry dry. 