🦞Lockdown friends still together🦞

Grammaretto I find it hard to recall what I did 5 minutes ago let alone yesterday but here goes. Went to church for morning service. Put out all the toys for the baby and toddler group the next morning. Dashed home and changed into something nicer. Got taxi to local restaurant with neighbours. Had a leisurely meal for a few hours. Back home and went to neighbours for a coffee and some knitting. Then home to chat on phone to son and fall asleep in front of the TV.
Shame the Australian cousins didn’t want to meet but at least you had a face time.
do hope you get your second cataract done. DH was pleased to get his done. Hope you are able to get to the Turner exhibition. Is it only on this month?
You’ll have a long wait for the model Ixion. I’ve done about 10% of it. I spent an hour making one piece and inch square. It’s really hard. I’d love to see how the person who designed it can wield a pair of tweezers holding a small bead and a glue gun and two pieces of wood at the same time.
I love going through albums. DH took so many photos it will take me a while to get through them all
Cherry I’m glad you’re going to physio classes, hope that will help with your recovery
Kaimoana, thinking of you and sending hugs
Sorry for the brief post tonight. I’m in a bit of a funny (not) mood. Went to bereavement group today and although it was lovely it triggered some things that upset me. Not quite myself tonight
Take care all. Be back tomorrow

I think you are brave to go to bereavement group Doodle. I hope you find it helpful.

The Turner watercolours only come out of storage in January when the light isn't strong enough to fade them. I see there's a long wait for them so may give it a miss 🙁

www.nationalgalleries.org/exhibition/turner-in-january-irelands-vaughan-bequest

The hospital visit was OK but my friend who drove me started to get a migraine. We went to find some food in the hospital canteen. It was closing but we managed a hot drink and a bag of crisps. She felt better and got us home. I think she was starving!
My operation is to be in February.

Goodness Cherry when you put it like that. You have had no let up really.
I hope that's all for now.

Where's Jeeves?

I've been re-reading your wonderfully supportive posts and trying to think of positives. One is that you deserve an update for this kindness.

DS will not be commuting, he'll be living in London.

Yes, they want to settle up north but you don't go on holiday and just stay there !
His partner will fly home in a few days to pack and tie up loose ends, which they anticipate could take 6 months.
She may or may not be able to stay in the place they've rented for 10 years, if the landlord can be persuaded to postpone its sale. Otherwise, she also has to find new accommodation.
And all this without support fro my DS who, of course is extremely worried and guilty.

Early this morning my good friend, aptly named Gaybriel called in with vegetables from her garden and caught me in floods of tears. She hugged me and shared her own experience, which helped and told me 'this too will pass' which also did but right now it's here and I'm not coping.
I'm aware this sounds melodramatic but there are dire things you don't know and I can't tell you.

Mepa arrived, leaped into the house and with arms raised shouted 'I'm 100% now' - she is such a character.

I put the little pile of wrapped Christmas gifts from under the 'tree' which were waiting for DS & Gubbins' homecoming, into a box in the garage.

I'd recently made a special Mila Corner in there with her doll's house and existing toys and art things, so she could just choose which box she wanted brough into the living room.

I'm afraid her Mum will be far too busy to come across the city for a visit what with all the work she'll have to do.

My back is improving as long as I don't sit anywhere too long but nevertheless, I've made an appointment with Zarah (doc) for Monday.

So there you go, dear friends. Forgive me if I haven't responded to anything else in your posts - my eyes are really bad right now.

oh Kaimoana my heart aches for you dear friend. What a terrible situation to be in with your family. You are never melodramatic. What you are going through is causing you such stress, I wish I had words to help but the situation is so upsetting. I’m sending the biggest hug with the most love as being the best I can offer. I’m so sorry.

Grammaretto February is not far away. Hope all goes well.
Ive been out to lunch today with our granddaughters before they go back to university and to see our son before he heads off to Canada for work. Lovely meal but I’m so tired these days, I can hardly stay awake

Kaimoana, I understand that you aren't revealing everything in relation to your DS and family on here, it's an open forum after all. Not melodramatic at all. Sending you my heartfelt cwtches X.
I hope the Dr can help on Monday.

I'm pleased that your friend was alright in the end, Grammaretto. She obviously had low blood sugar.
Excellent news that you'll be having your 'op in February, you don't have long to wait 😊.
It'll be a shame if you don't get to see the Turner exhibition, I can imagine that there's long waits for them though. The exhibition period is obviously too short.
Well, we're another week on - how are you getting on in your recovery?

☺️ You had a lovely day yesterday then Doodle. Will your DS be in Canada for long, may I ask? I know you will miss him 💐.

I've been out and about again today and found it's much easier walking with the two sticks now 😁. Well I would as we didn't go far, just to the local supermarket for a few bits and bobs 😅. I'm not making as much progress as I'd like though, largely due to a very swollen knee which is holding me back. I need to speak to the nurse I think 🤔.

I hope the rest of the lobStars are okay.

Grammaretto, I took am wondering where Jeeves is, I could do with my cushions plumping up a bit 😅.

Telegram (!) from Jeeves -

STUCK AT AUCKLAND AIRPORT. STOP.
INSISTING HAND OVER MY DRINKS TROLLEY. STOP.

AM REFUSING. STOP.

OOH, NICE DOGGIES. STOP.

If you are at an airport Jeeves, please could you pop over to the Philippines and rescue the Christmas present sent to my son and daughter-in-law (posted on 3rd December)?
You will find it's been sitting in customs there since Dec 10th...
🙏
And then please pop over this way with the drinks trolley as I've just posted a birthday present to the same daughter-in-law for mid February

Cherry DS1 will not be in Canada till Friday so not long bit I miss him not being here. Been out to lunch with friends today and spent all day just chatting. I sometimes wonder what I find to talk about. DH and I could sit for hours in companionable silence or with the odd comment or chat. I find I can’t do that with anyone else, if you’re with someone you need to make conversation. I long for that being able to relax of an evening but it’s not the same when you’re on your own. It’s no longer companionable it becomes lonely.
Glad you’re getting around better. That knee doesn’t sound right, Hope you get it seen to soon.
*Kaimoana I think we’re all concerned for you and wish we could help. Such a shame we’re not closer and could visit.
So sorry things hav,e worked out like this but don’t give up hope. People change and situations change too. Sending you much love x*
Grammarettto have you been out today? It’s been so cold here but I bet it’s worse where you are.
Ixion, I told him not to travel with his drinks trolley but he wouldn’t listen. 🤣🤣

No wonder noone has seen Jeeves if he's stuck at an airport dealing with customs. I hope he doesn't try to bribe the border guards.

I made it all the way to Lidl a couple of hundred yards today which felt a major achievement.
I think I'm improving, slowly.

Looks like you were also at the supermarket Cherry !! Great minds obviously. 😉

I had a difficult phone call with DS1 who gets angry if I even mention my house plans. I don't know why he's so against it.

He says all my DC agree with him. My friends think it's a good idea so who do I listen to?

What do the rest of your DC say to you then Grammaretto? They could just be concerned about the logistics of selling your place and finding somewhere to live while building somewhere new. I assume you'll have to rent and put all the furniture into store? (An excellent opportunity to sort through your belongings though) Waiting for planning permissions and chasing up builders always takes a lot longer than estimated. It's likely to be a bit of a challenge!

Evenings are the worst aren't they Doodle. I do knit or play on my iPad as a bit of a distraction and I have the tv on earlier we ever used to. Especially difficult is that time when you have to turn off the tv and go to bed in silence and solitude. Since Christmas Kira has decided that I don't need the company at night any more and takes herself off downstairs. And, after eighteen months, she's right. It's not the nightly hurdle it was. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm so pleased you have Mepa, Kaimoana. She sounds just what you need at the moment, it's great that she's ok now and bouncing back, and that you have good friends who can give you proper hugs. On top of everything else your bad back won't be helping your normal resilience, a pain like that really pulls you down, it's a relief to hear that it's improving a bit. Like Grammaretto and Cherry are finding at present it's hard and frustrating to have to listen to your body and not to push yourself too hard. Hard too to accept help having been so used to always giving it. This growing older lark is a challenge!

Grammaretto - Yourself!.
Your life, your house, your choice.
DS will have to accept that and stop getting angry. Does HE want to buy your house?

I've just talked for an hour on video with my son and have been much reassured. In fact so relieved, I couldn't help weeping
He's optimistic, though missing family of course.

He has a nice place to live, with a gym on site and is taking a course on Monday necessary for UK certification.

He says the prospects are good and the firm he'll be working for (owned by his friend) has an extensive Internet presence and many international awards for excellence of their various services.

If I'd known all this to begin with.........

ixion

Jeeve had to leave his drinks trolley I'm afraid but wisely not as a bribe, he explained he'd been helping the cabin staff.

He brought some chocolate brownies and we had a cuppa tea and a chat (he liked my accent). Then we shared a hug and off he went.

He's had such a varied not to say eccentric lifestyle but wherever he is in the world, still keeps a little pied-a-terre in Mornington Crescent.

Did you know he used to be a Baker Street Irregular as a boy?

.

Oh, poor you, Grammaretto. Just when you need support and encouragement from your family. Are they really all against the move, or is there a small but silent voice of enthusiasm out there?
Ask them where they see you in five years time. Perhaps they are secretly hoping that you will live with them😂. Try that tack🤭.
Take care when you are mobilising- you are doing remarkably well.
Is the time right to be thinking about another Helper?

How long is DS abroad for, dreadful grammar, sorry Doodle? Hopefully not too long. Will your DIL be in regular touch with you? You do keep busy during the days, but Nfk knows exactly what the evenings can be like: you are not alone.
Have you started the Hospice counselling course yet? How is DH's tree standing up to the winter's elements?

Cherry, you too are coming along in leaps and bounds, as it were. Is the physio helping? Do get that knee seen to - we need you kicking that ball around smartish.

Kaimoana- don't let Jeeves overstay his welcome. He does like a chat.
Aha, so you heard he was a Baker Street Irregular in his youth? Bet he didn't tell you that he still is, in Overseer mode.
The trolley is just a front.
Not all hugs, nightcaps and snifters, y'know. Eyes and ears of anything untoward that might crop up on here ...
🤐.

I am intrigued - and inherently noisy curious - about your comment on accent. Have you kept your native accent over the decades, may I ask? My DM's school friends who emigrated to Canada never acquired an accent over 6+ decades. My DS remains an Englishman Abroad (luckily), unlike his sons.

I am pleased that you had a long and reassuring conversation with your DS, every little helps. Perhaps he might have a chat with DW and point out that his Mum would love a visit from them occasionally. She might even be grateful for your presence to have Gubbins for an afternoon when she gets really busy with the admin and the packing.

I can't begin to tell you how sad I am for you 🥀.

Grammaretto, Kaimoana has stolen the word out of my mouth - You, yourself. Do you know exactly why, according to your DS, all your DC are against your ideas? Are theirs the concerns that Nfk highlights or something else? At the end of the day the only person that can, and the right to, choose is you.
Well done for making it to Lidl. You are definitely improving ☺️.

I can, according to many, talk for Wales, Doodle. When I'm with friends and am quiet it's not long before it's commented on. I know exactly what you are saying about companionable silence and how with friends silence is expected to be filled and it can even be uncomfortable not to fill it. Not so with that special companion. I also know there's solitude and then there's solitary, solitary isn't comfortable but solitude can be. You are not comfortable now but I hope, in time 💐.

Kira never ceases to amaze me, Nfk. They say dogs have a sixth sense and sense things we cannot. Kira is a clever dog. I'm pleased that the nighttime is not posing the difficulty that it was.

Drat, NotSpaghetti, will your DiL ever receive her xmas present do you think 🤔. I hope the same thing doesn't happen to her birthday present 🤞.

Wonderful, Kaimoana 😊. I'm so pleased that you've had that conversation with your DS (and I'm not surprised that you wept). I know it still can't be easy but I hope that knowing about where he's living and his work have put your mind at rest on that score. at least.

I've got a horrible migraine this evening, rare for me, so if Jeeves has arrived back in the UK would someone kindly send him my way to mop my brow with a cup of tea.

Grammaretto I’m sorry your house plans seem to be causing upset in the family. I wonder if they think it will be too stressful for you. Have they explained exactly what they’re objecting to? I wonder if they realise that sometimes when you’re on your own it’s nice to have something to look forward to. A change from the routine and something to think about and be interested in. I hope it can be resolved amicably
Nfk I find it difficult too but also the mornings. DH and I used to have lazy breakfasts reading the paper and doing puzzles. Now the second I’ve stopped eating I have to get up and move. I’m restless and lost. By the time evening comes I’m usually so tired I struggle to stay awake. I don’t like this empty flat. I can so easily picture DH sitting next to me and I can’t stop thinking he should be there.
I wonder what made Kira decide to sleep downstairs. Just goes to show that nervous little dog is now comfortable and safe at home.
Kaimoana I’m so glad your mind is a little more settled. Hope good things work out for your son.
Jeeves certainly gets around a bit. He didn’t even ask me if it was ok to take some leave. There was a brand new bottle of expensive brandy on that drinks trolley. I hope he remembers to pick it up on his way home
Ixion Ds is only away till Friday so not long. Yes all the family stay in touch and I expect I will get texts from our son too.
Went to check on the tree last week and it seemed fine. Its little cones all seem to be intact on the branches and it is standing straight and tall. I’m inclined to knit it a little jacket and several pairs of mittens for its branches. I don’t like the thought of it getting cold.
Hospice counselling starts on Wednesday. Not sure what it will be like but worth a go
Thanks Cherry for your kind thoughts. I too hope in time it will get easier. Sorry about your migraine hope Jeeves is with you soon although mopping your brow with a cup of tea might make things a bit messy 🤣

I wish I had family support but none of my 4 seem to think building a house is sensible idea. My friends do, especially people my age who can see the attraction of a well insulated, single story house on a plot I know so well.

My #3 DS is coming to stay later this week so maybe he can explain the objections.

I really hope the counselling helps you Doodle. Your family sound lovely 😍.

Did Jeeves just slope off? He certainly gets about.

I went to the cinema this evening. It was Maggie Smith's last film. Bit of a tearjerker called the Miracle Club.

DH sister is visiting me tomorrow. I've not seen her since her DMs funeral. She lives in England.

My DSis is in your part of the world Nfk and Jan. It's her birthday treat.

Poor Cherry I hope your migraine doesn't last.

You sound far more at ease with the situation Kaimoana. I am glad about that. You have such nice people around you too.

Night night all.

I'm trying not to be enraged by the way your children are treatng this house situation and you Grammaretto.

Here you are, in winter, on crutches and sticks having had asignificant operation and instead of understanding and being supportive or realising that a big house with many steps is not now, or later, what you need, they are deliberately making things worse.

If this is a case of it being a revered family home they don't want to lose, then perhaps they can club together and purchase it for the amount which will buy or build you a new and comfortble home.

What you have never said and yet is obvious, is that this is also the beloved home of your marriage and past happinesses and parting with it will be heartbreaking for you too. I really think they need to stop being so selfish and, forgive me, you shouldn't let their selfishness push you into something you really don't want.

There - you'll probably never speak to me again but I have seen this happen before and the elder concerned, bowed to pressure and regretted it so much. Didn't live happily ever after (or very long) either. Stand your ground.

My doctor is a truly lovelt person and we had a good talk about my spiralling anxiety and my still painful back.
She gave me some options, did a thorough examination and decided an X-ray of back and hips would be useful.

For the rest, I decided to try Melatonin which is prescription only here, to see if establishing a restful, deep sleepe pattern can help. Currently I sleep 1-2 hours then am awak 2-4 before dozing again for another hour.
It doesn't bother me too much as I listen to peaceful books (Jane Austen and D E Stevenson).

If this doesn't work, we'll discuss tranquilisers but I really don't want to go that route if it can be helped.

My back is definitely improving and I haven't even taken paracetamol today, despite riding in Karens car over dozens of speed bumps - ouch and sitting in waiting rooms.
However, I do think a granny nap will help today.

Nfk thinking about you and am glad you have the perceptive Kira as a comforting companion.

Cherry migrain on top of all the rest poor girl I do hope you feel well soon - sending love and squishy hugs your way.
Funnily enough, I had a migraine a few days ago. Haven't had one of them since I was in my 50's. It always feels as if someone is trying to take my eye out with a spoon.

Doodle I think the Hospice counselling might be tough in parts as (here at least) they help you to release some of the pain and even anger you may have been holding in.

My doctor asked today if I cried a lot and said it was the best thing I could do as it releases healing chemicals.

NotS - I suppose there will be an Xmas backlog of parcels to shift - I hope they get to yours soon.

While I am so much happier than I was, having all the correct information about DS situation, he will still be doing a very hazardous job in one of the most dangerous cities in the world.

But in the end, there's nothing I can do about it and he IS a smart guy who will not be taking unnecessary risks. I must trust in that.

It's taken me almost 2 hours to write this but I shall Percy Vere as long as I can.

Naughty and Mamisimo kei hea korua - where are you?
Hoki mai - please come back.

ixion I thought you'd watched the video of my interview but if you want to know how I sound, here it is again.
I don't look like this any more though.

visionwest.org.nz/lyndas-story/

Since Christmas Kira has decided that I don't need the company at night any more

Oh NFK, hugs....

More flowers heralding spring.
spitalfieldslife.com/2025/01/20/no-enemy-but-winter-and-rough-weather-iii/

I've sloped in at the back of class... I've been hiding for fear of being told that it was cheerleading practice. I told DH about the penchant for dressing up and the widest smile spread across his face which faded at speed when I said it involved lobster outfits or frilly apple catcher sized knickers and pom poms.

Grammaretto ..... This is your life.... You've given a huge amount of it to your children and if you want to build a house...just do it. Just because we are older doesn't mean we can't do have dreams. There is no need to fall out with your children, just explain your reasons....let them voice their concerns and thank them for sharing then with you and you will bear them in mind.

Cherry..I hope the migraine has gone. I too can talk the hind leg off the proverbial donkey. My ex used to ask if I was ill if we were out at functions and I didn't talk ( sometimes I used to get bloody minded and think someone else can be the entertainment tonight). If there is a gap in conversation I'm that annoying person who fills it.... especially if I'm nervous. I'm probably not going to change now either. There are times when I think ..Good grief who on earth just said what I was outrageously thinking and then realise everyone is looking at me and I've actually said it. Oops

Nfk and Doodle...I wish we were all lived closer so on those evenings when it's extra hard we could get together and get Jeeves round with his drinks trolley. Oh hang on...be needs a new one doesn't he? Hopefully he'll pick up one in the Philippines whilst during Notspag's pressies.

Kaimoana...I am glad your back is feeling easier each day. I agree with you re tranquillisers although would a short course break the habit ( if it is one) of not sleeping for more than a couple of hours. In fairness though you have had so much to cause you to not sleep over the last few months...pensions, help at home and now your son and his new role and the huge knock on effect. I really really hope your DIL realises that she has to make an effort get Gubbins to see you as much as possible in the next few months.
Mepa sounds lots of fun...On grotty grey damp miserable days like today we all need a Mepa to bounce into our lives.

Ixion... I've just bought 6 bunches of daffs...my absolute favourite...it's to cheer me up from when I get back from the doctors having had lights at the very least shone where the sun doesn't shine. Happy days.
Apparently today is known as Blue Monday...I think they might be right.. Mind you I suspect the GP might feel the same way too🤣🤣🤣

I have daffodils too.
My absolute favourites as well - from the days when my lovely (Welsh) dad used to make sure my mum had the first bunch in the village. 💕

Grammaretto I’m sure your family just think they are protecting you from too much work and change but they need to understand you want what you want and not necessarily what they think is right for you. Hope it can be resolved as you do need their support.
i loved Maggie Smith and enjoyed her films. Might give the tear jerker a miss for now though.
Nice to have your SIL visit. Is she just passing through or staying with you for a while
Kaimoana I hope the tablets work. We all need a decent sleep and waking after an hour or two isn’t good.
Yes I’ve heard that about crying too. It just exhausts me but perhaps that’s the point.
I will give the counselling a go but if it’s not for me then I will stop. A friend is going with me to pick up the pieces after
Glad your back is feeling a bit better. Hope tonight will be a better sleep.
Naughtyneine at this time of year, cheerleading practice also involves thermal vests and leggings, woolly hats and gloves……well at least my outfit does. Mind you I do have a bit of a problem getting the crop top on over all that lot.
wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all meet up and chat round Jeeves’ trolley. I’m sure there’d be much laughter too
Notspaghetti for me it’s daffs and sunflowers. Always love their sunny faces, Daffs make me think of little girls in frilly bonnets.
Thanks for the flowers ixion. Hope you and Mr I are doing ok, you too Cherry

I planted 4 sunflowers for Gubbins, their flowering to coincide with when she and Daddy came home.
The first one blossomed last week but it's been too cold and windy for the others.

Thanks Lobstars. You are such a supportive gang.
I am not 100% sure if I am doing the right thing regarding the house plans.
I suppose I wish that instead of condemning the idea outright at least one of the DC could meet the architect or meet the people who want to buy the house.

DH's siblings came to see me yesterday and seemed impressed as I am with my mobility.
I forgot to take my stick with me
yesterday and only remembered
when I was halfway to the
community store.

I had made soup, lit the fire and we opened the prosecco and enjoyed a laugh together as we watched the home movies.
It seemed an ideal way to cancel out the most depressing day of the year!

I enjoyed watching the film of you again Kaimoana
I have no success with Sunflowers.
🦂🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🦂

I also enjoyed visualising you Doodle in the croptop squeezed over your winter clothes. 😂🤣😅

Love all the Spring flowers ixion

I have cancelled my cataract operation. I was fretting about having to be there at 8am in 2 weeks time. I hope I'll get another chance quite soon.

Grammaretto, I think taking the pressure off the worry about the cataract op is a good idea.


Have you actually asked one (or all) of your adult children to meet the architect - which i think is a good idea. Maybe if not and you actually asked them to do it they would come? Is it possible that they think you don't really want to involve them? I know my adult children all have ideas about what's going on in my head - and they are regularly wrong!