Poetry ...love it or hate it?

I included this poem in the order of service at the recent funeral of my dear husband. I thought you would like to read it.

He is gone

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

written 1981
David Harkins 1959 - Silloth, Cumbria, UK

Elegran ...a poem that always brings tears to my ears!

Elegran that's such a beautiful poem that I know well. We included it in the lovely funeral service we had for my dear nephew who took his own life earlier this year. I referred to it only in passing on here, as I couldn't bear to enter into a conversation online at the time (would still find it difficult) - we were all so devastated - still are. He was a lovely man, and he knew he was loved by his family and friends.

His funeral was the most pleasant, funny and friendly affair - lots of happy anecdotes and a true celebration that we had all known him. Such wonderful tributes made to his kindness, happy-go-lucky lifestyle, willingness to help anyone, including people he didn't know personally. People came away saying 'that's what I would want for me!' It was such a comfort to us all to feel we had given him this lovely send-off. We miss him dreadfully.

I love writing poetry.
I don't have a favourite Poet, although I prefer some to others

This is a poem I wrote recently. I hope it doesn't bore you!

FROM ACORN to MIGHTY OAK
From an acorn to mighty oak is a whole journey in life.
With measure to treasure, or regret o’er strife!
A seedling is raising its young leafs to the sun,
This surely is the way all life is begun?

A baby is born, as a seedling in style.
It grows, and in time a sapling has come.
Harsh winters, dry spells, stormy winds it prevails.
As saplings, they bend in life’s storms and fierce gales!
The weaker ones by natural process are thinned

From sapling to tree, another step begins.
Our child has now gained knowledge, and skills,
As young trees, they come with cover to share
Able to help others, their troubles to bear.

In years to come large trees we now see,
Loosing new acorns for prosperity.
As age gently beckons, our oak is full grown,
Harbouring insects and birds, all make it their home,

Our young are full grown now, with lives of their own,
And “acorns” to succour, their future unknown.
Sturdy ships were made of oak in the past,
A very hard wood, ships built to last!

These we relied on when threatened by war,
They were wind driven by sail or rowed with the oar.
When nations clashed, they sailed with pride,
And fought great sea battles, side by side.

With colours flying high, they did not hide!
Many men wounded, many men died.
Our ancient oak trees should have our respect,
But, as in life, there is sometimes thoughtless neglect!

This is the story of our life as an OAK,
Some folk there are who will think this a joke!
But our life could be compared to the oak.
We are part of nature, as you will agree,
Read this with new knowledge,

The message you’ll see!

Gramps ©1/5/2012

Just read the bit about how the teaching of the subjunctive will become compulsory in the primary school. Someone has commented underneath
"Would that the subjunctive were taught more frequently".

Sorry wrong thread - almost poetry!

I did wonder Mamie

Like the poem gramps ...so many oak forests lost for ships.

Like it, Mamie, even if not poetry!

This was written by a mother but in my opinion it covers how a person feels if they have lost any person they love and teaches us all a valuable lesson

Just how a mother feels
---------------------

You ask me how I'm feeling,

But do you really want to know?

The moment I try telling you,

You say you have to go

-

How can I tell you,

What it's been like for me

I am haunted, I am broken

By things that you don't see

-

You ask me how I'm holding up,

But do you really care?

The moment I start to speak my heart,

You start squirming in your chair.

-

Because I am so lonely, you see,

Friends no longer come around,

I'll take the words I want to say

And quietly choke them down.

---

Everyone avoids me now,

I guess they don't know what to say

They told me I'll be there for you,

Then turned and walked away.

----

Call me if you need me,

That's what everybody said,

But how can I call and scream down the phone,

My God, my child is dead?

----

No one will let me say the words

I need to say

Why does a Mothers grief

Scare everyone away?

---

I am tired of pretending

My heart hammers in my chest,

I say things to make you comfortable,

But my soul finds no rest.

---

How can I tell you things

That are too sad to be told,

Of the helplessness of holding a child,

Who in your arms grows cold?

---

Maybe you can tell me,

How should one behave,

Who's had to follow their child’s casket,

Watched it perched above a grave?

----

You cannot imagine what it was like

For me that day

To place a final kiss upon that box,

And have to turn and walk away.

---

If you really love me,

And I believe you do,

If you really want to help me,

Here is what I need from you.

---

Sit down beside me,

Reach out and take my hand,

Say " My Friend, I've come to listen,

I want to understand."

--

Just hold my hand and listen

That's all you need to do,

And if by chance I shed a tear,

It's alright if you do to.

--

I swear that I'll remember till the day

I'm very old,

The Friend who sat and held my hand

And let me bare my soul.

---



Copyright of Kelly Cummings 12/8/03

That is so ...but thank you for sharing it lydia

Oh that is just so awful!!!!!

It is awful and heartbreaking but I think it gives an insight into how we ignore the feeling of people who are grieving
Not because we don't care but because we have a fear of hurting people who are grieving

It is so true for any bereavement.

No!

It's sick making.

I take it Kelly Cummings is no relation to e e.

The lid comes down upon the sky
And everything is grey-
Our moods, and our feelings
Are directed by the day.

We burrow down and wait
For the sun to shine again,
And listen, listen, listen,
to the drumming of the rain.

And when the flooding's finished,
We'll emerge and live once more,
As if the floods that ebbed away
Weren't still lapping at our door.

Hope you can see the inferences!

No relation I just felt that she showed courage when she wrote down her feelings but I know many parents have read this and identified with the feelings

j04
Everyone has a story to tell, and need to tell it how they can. To have someone sit and just listen can be a real gift.

Can you help me understand why you find this writing sick-making?

It was exactly what happened when my husband died. It's still true now!

It's such a heart-felt and such a bleak view of how bereaved parents are treated that you can't help being moved. At least, I can't.

GNHQ - Wondering why this discussion was removed from the current topics list - it's time-line suggests it should still be available. Has it been reverse bumped?

I don't believe any person does this because they are unfeeling I think it is exactly the opposite People are so scared of hurting the person or not knowing what to say

They are also scared of intruding on grief

Butter, threads have been disappearing from the Active list all day - some kind of GN Gremlin at work again!

Hello Ladies.
May I be so bold as to offer one of my recent poems?
It's a bit lengthy, but please be patient with an "old Fella"
Ta muchly!

FROM ACORN to MIGHTY OAK
From an acorn to mighty oak is a whole journey in life.
With measure to treasure, or regret o’er strife!
A seedling is raising its young leafs to the sun,
This surely is the way all life is begun?
A baby is born, as a seedling in style.
It grows, and in time a sapling has come.
Harsh winters, dry spells, stormy winds it prevails.
As saplings, they bend in life’s storms and fierce gales!
The weaker ones by natural process are thinned .
From sapling to tree, another step begins.
Our child has now gained knowledge, and skills,
As young trees, they come with cover to share
Able to help others, their troubles to bear.
In years to come large trees we now see,
Loosing new acorns for prosperity.
As age gently beckons, our oak is full grown,
Harbouring insects and birds, all make it their home,
Our young are full grown now, with lives of their own,
And “acorns” to succour, their future unknown.
Sturdy ships were made of oak in the past,
A very hard wood, ships built to last!

These we relied on when threatened by war,
They were wind driven by sail or rowed with the oar.
When nations clashed, they sailed with pride,
And fought great sea battles, side by side.
With colours flying high, they did not hide!
Many men wounded, many men died.
Our ancient oak trees should have our respect,
But, as in life, there is sometimes thoughtless neglect!
This is the story of our life as an OAK,
Some folk there are who will think this a joke!
But our life could be compared to the oak.
We are part of nature, as you will agree,
Read this with new knowledge,
The message you’ll see!

gramps©1/5/2012

Sorry Butternut. Only just seen your question.

I just don't understand why anyone would feel the need to make verses like this public. Write it down if that helps, but keep it quietly in a drawer somewhere. Not produce it for all to see.

For me it would be too private.