Gransnet forums

Dieting & exercise

Is Big really Beautiful or are we kidding ourselves?

(89 Posts)
Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 11:26:18

I recall the years when I started overeating and my weight shot up and all of a sudden I was seriously overweight.
And I can still remember how being overweight affected my self esteem and confidence.
I mean I had always been a shy person but gaining weight definitely affected the way I felt about myself.
And So I Tried to avoid going out during day light(Yes I felt That Affected by my weight ; 0 (
I remember being invited to a Dear Friends House one afternoon, and While they popped out to the shops I had to use the Toilet.
And So As I Passed Their Bedroom, There was a mirror and I just caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and Instantly I felt devastated and burst into tears.
I was still crying by the time my friends arrived back home.
and then later as we were going out They invited me to go to the shops with them but again because I felt so embarrassed about my weight I decided to stay in their car and wait for them.
I was about 16 stone then.
I now weigh 11 stone and though I feel better now, I still Have a problem with my self esteem and confidence despite being much slimmer now.
But I am curious to find out how you feel being overweight?
These days being overweight appears to be acceptable in certain parts of society
but I wonder if that is wrong and that those of us that are overweight shouldn't consider it as something beautiful?
my ex partner who remains very overweight once told me that she felt uncomfortable being overweight.
I really felt sympathy for her since I have experience of being overweight and know how much it affected my self esteem and confidence.
anyway please share your thoughts and experiences.
Thanks.

janerowena Wed 23-Jul-14 23:04:39

I'm not sure why it's TMI. If you don't find it interesting, don't read it, surely? I like to learn about different people and how they think.

It's what stops me from being , well, insular? It keeps me openminded rather than closed.

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 22:41:37

OK Thanks Holly.
OH Boy I better go...I know where I'm not wanted...Thanks SOU AND cO ; 0 (

HollyDaze Wed 23-Jul-14 22:38:04

It means Too Much Information, Trevor

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 22:06:11

Sou Forgive me
but I don't understand What TMI Means?

Soutra Wed 23-Jul-14 22:00:44

TMI

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 21:53:47

Thanks for sharing your experiences Jane.
I'm sorry you Have Arthritis in your hips.
it must make day to day activities Difficult let alone painful?
I lost weight cause I cut down on the amount of food I had been eating and started being more active
and eventually the weight started dropping.
now I'm 11 stone and although I'm not exactly content yet
I feel much better than when I was around 16 stones.
my illness if you Like is nervous disposition.
its similar to what ozzy osbourne has.
in that basically my nerves are bad and I'm always trembling 24 seven.
ive had this illness since childhood and now have to take medication to calm my nerves.
and because this problem affects my self esteem and confidence I tend to stay home much more these days.
and I guess it does make relationships difficult because not many women would want to be with a man that is always trembling I Think?
the relationships I have had were all with women that accepted my nervous disposition.
one actually has a nervous problem similar to mine and also takes medication for it.
anyway I better go to bed as its getting late.
thanks for answering my posts and if I continue posting I hope you will contribute again.
best wishes
from Trevor.

janerowena Wed 23-Jul-14 21:39:20

Indeed - I was very active, I worked as a gardener, garden designer, did a couple of days in a tree nursery as a propagator and also had my own wholesale herb nursery. Then ten years ago we moved and not only did I live in a flat for a while as we waited to buy a house, I also acquired arthritis in my hips, then gradually elsewhere. My weight ballooned as I found it hard to realise that what I had been eating before was thousands more calories a day than what a suddenly inactive person should be eating. It has taken me years to work out how much I can eat, and how to get enough nutrients into that very small amount, and how to make myself feel full on it. It also made me realise how little I knew about diet. And that if like me you are almost incapable of moving during cold winter months, 2000 calories per day is about 500 too many.

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 20:16:17

oh to be able to eat what we like and how much we like and not worry about gaining weight!
I Feel sure most would agree with that?

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 19:23:23

he's the handsome one with a few wrinkles here and there jingle...; 0 )

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 23-Jul-14 19:14:41

Which are you then pompa?

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 19:10:01

thanks for sharing that pompa.
I agree with you.

pompa Wed 23-Jul-14 18:46:37

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, beauty is inside not just skin deep. Being pretty and beautiful are different things, other wise there would be no hope for crinklies like me.

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 18:39:56

to be honest soutra
i didn't even know i had got it right until you mentioned it.

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 18:35:50

Jane,
thanks again for your reply.
as i mentioned earlier being overweight certainly affected the way i felt about myself.
my face right down to my thighs had ballooned and so hardly any of the clothes i had fitted me anymore.
so i felt frustrated as well.
i didn't like the way I looked and felt like a freak.
i couldn't bare facing people cause i felt so ashamed of my appearance.
i was single at that time and would have been surprised if a woman found me attractive.

Soutra Wed 23-Jul-14 18:23:31

Right that's sorted. What's next?

Soutra Wed 23-Jul-14 18:22:52

Right that's sorted. What's next?

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 18:20:08

Thanks Soutra.

Soutra Wed 23-Jul-14 17:39:04

Instant improvement in the capital letters/ punctuation area* trevor* congratulations.

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 17:02:54

Well
I think you made some valid points ineed.
i find that when people say I look good that gives my confidence a lift and my self esteem as well.
i'm still quite a shy reserved person though.

ineedsensibleanswersplease Wed 23-Jul-14 16:55:51

I think confidence is beautiful regardless of size.
I've been bigger and smaller but ultimately found the times I've been confident are the times that people seem to tell you that you look nice etc. Those times have not always been the times I've been smallest. Confidence is what attracts people to be friends with / talk to people imo not necessarily their dress size.
I think thats why some people look great bigger and some don't

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 16:52:44

Thanks Jinglebells.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 23-Jul-14 16:49:15

I think it's fine to be two or three pounds overweight. No more than that though. You sound fine Trevor. Well done for the weight loss.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 23-Jul-14 16:45:47

soutra hmm

Trevor47 Wed 23-Jul-14 16:35:28

i can't write properly sou and thats the truth hence the use of capital letters.
please try not to let it upset you Too much.

Soutra Wed 23-Jul-14 16:30:43

What is with all the capital letters trevor???