Today i hit 16 stone.....talk about depressed....

If you feel you are comfort eating, as you say, rather than eating because you are hungry, then this is what needs to be addressed rather than just thinking about your food intake. Maybe talk to GP about referral for counseling and try and get to the bottom of it. A counselor would be able to give you a chance to talk it all through and walk beside you during your attempts to lose weight.

I am lucky not to have this problem - although I do now weigh 10 stone, when I was 2 atone lighter before I became middle-aged! - but I do try and have a glass of water when I feel peckish between meals.

Good luck with all this. It is important that you do not reduce your personal worth in your eyes just because you are a bigger person - there is a tendency for people who see themselves as overweight to have poor self-confidence and a counselor would hopefully be able to help you with this. Make a list of all your assets and virtues and read that when you are feeling down about your weight!

It's a cycle, isn't it? Eating makes you depressed; depression drives you to the biscuit barrel. I was once a group leader for a very well known weight loss organisation. Anyone who could see me now would be most surprised to learn this. I could lose a good 3 stone before getting anywhere near my goal weight. My advice is to forget diets. Get rid of all those diet books. Ask for help. Your GP may be able to refer you to a counsellor who will help you to address the cause of your depression/overeating. I was once referred to the NHS dietician who was very helpful and I was doing well but she transferred to another job and wasn't replaced.

I think anya's point (and mine) is tat we no longer think it is acceptable to feel hungry in the way people used to 50 years ago. The Milky Way ad (" the sweet you can eat between meals without spoiling your appetite") was the start of the slippery slope. Feeling "peckish" is something most of us could manage 24/7 if we put our minds to it, but I have noticed how the thin of my acquaintance don't seem to feel it, or to admit to it. DH will say he feels hungry but can wait till lunch etc.
Some foods can also "make" you feel hungry, presumably by triggering the taste buds so "hunger" can be a genuine NEED for food or it can be a desire for something nice. That is the temptation.

My comment about only eating when you're hungry was because I know I tend to eat out of sheer habit. When I consciously think that I can easily override the urge to just have that cake or pile of biscuits. I don't think that's 'nonsense'!

Hello Bytheway
I agree with all the above.
However I think that it is your depression that should be addressed first.
Maybe a trip to your GP
Write out your GN post and let him read it. (It saves time & you won't eel that you have forgotten something important)
It could be he will offer medication &/ or counselling.
If you are happier generally then maybe you will feel stronger to deal with your weight .
I feel counselling may give you the tools to help achieve a healthier life style for both you and your DH

Good luck x

bytheway
anya has given you very good advice and I agree with daphne that portion size is important too. Also about getting your thyroid checked. This was one of the causes of my weight gain in my late 40's and early 50's and it took me 4 years to lose the weight, even when I had started the thyroxine.
Everyone is different - I would find only 3 meals a day difficult - I have 3 meals a day plus a banana or some nuts or a couple of squares of very dark chocolate (hardly any sugar) and a milky coffee mid morning if I need it.
Don't be afraid to feel pleased with yourself - get to the end of the day and allow yourself to feel you have done well. And if you have had a not very good day, don't cheer yourself up with more food!
Accept that it will take time - I find it helps to record my weight once a week to see in which direction I'm going!
Good luck - I hope this is a turning point for you.

Good take on it db. Good post.

I am so sorry you feel so depressed and while I am neither a nutritionist nor SLIM I can offer a few thoughts which you may or may not wish to take on board
You don't say your height, but could you work on how you look (even if you would like to be thinner) - there are some stunning "statuesque" women role models out there- big, bold, colourful and confident. When I look at so- called magazine makeovers, so often the changes are in the clothes (bolder) shoes(heels) hair and LIPSTICK. A former colleague who was a lot more than 16 stone but had a very sweet, pretty face lost about half her body weight on the Cambridge diet and frankly, looked worse. Her face became gaunt, her hair went thin and IMHO it wasn't worth it. She also became very unhappy. Being slimmer does not always equate to happier.
It can also make you fixated on food to the exclusion of most other things.
OK, that aside, exercise and portion control. Not calories, just half the portions you eat now. I am not saying your portions are large as , frankly I have no idea, but when you look at so called "diet" meals, the first thing that strikes me is how small they are! Fill up on veg, salad, plenty of water. And restrict wine /other alcohol to one day a week or none, if you can manage.
Hypnotherapy might help your mindset but any displacement activity is good - crochet or knitting watching TV, only having meals at set times at the table and accepting that it is normal to feel hungry before a meal - no snacking between meals.
The depressing thing is that once we start dieting, our metabolism adapts to the lower food intake and when we eat "normally" , the lbs pile on. So crash diets do more harm than good. Re-educating your palate to LIKE celery more than cake, to avoid bread and biscuits is hard, but if you must, you must. That is why I suggest you look at your general health and appearance - a fit 16 stone who looks great is possibly better than being 10 stone but in poor health.
You may indeed have an eating disorder after decades of felling you are overweight. I am not saying overweight is good, but look around you, even the great and the good either seem to put on weight or stay thin and wrinkled!! At 50 you still have time to address the issue - exercise, support from a third party, even online may be the way forward. There is no "good" or "bad" in eating, no "ooh, I mustn't it's naughty" and no blame attached. Do have yourself checked out by a doctor for thyroid function and don't be afraid to hear him say you need to lose weight. That's like telling an alcoholic they need to drink less - the question is what are you going to do about it.
Good luck, and instead of being down and depressed how about a new pair of trainers and a brisk walk somewhere nice?

That must be soul destroying bytheway (((hugs)))

The only way to lose weight is to bite the bullet and stop trying 'diets'. And to look at it long term.

It has to be by adopting a lifestyle you can live with day to day. This means cutting right down on sugary foods, and that includes fruit and fruit juices. Up your protein and plenty of vegetables. Try to cut back on potatoes, rice, pasta and bread.

Stick to three meals a day and no sugary snacks.

Forget all this nonsense about not feeling hungry. If you feel hungry inbetween meals that is your body telling you to eat, and if you ignore it your body will have to go into your fat stores to satisfy its needs. Which means fat is being used up....great!

And if you can exercise, please do. Walking is great.

It is so hard to lose weight I know. I used to be able to just lose a stone a month easy peasy but no more. The problem with 'diets' is that they make you obsessed with food. You end up thinking about it all the time: planning the next meal, the shopping, what's 'allowed' and what isn't etc ad infinitum. I know I need to lose weight but I'm also aware that I'm exactly the same shape as my Gran and Great Aunts on both sides! I spent years among other ladies at work who yoyo dieted their way through life. It just doesn't work. All you can do is try to eat only when you're genuinely hungry as opposed to habit and try to keep as active as possible. Good luck. You're not alone!

Do you make sure you never have any tempting things in the house?

I don't think the doc was on the right road with the fun size bars mar diet. Too tantalising.