I need help !

I don't have a problem with alcohol as I don't like it that much. But chocolate.....

So we made a rule that 'Friday night is chocolate night' and stick to that. We still have to limit the amount - which is where other tactics have to come into play - but it means that we look forward to a treat on Fridays and don't over-indulge the rest of the week.

Maybe something like that would help as part of your wine-limitation efforts.

Same reason I never have chocolate in the house.. There's no doubt that clearing your kitchen of all trigger food and drink is a start. It's well known the alcohol weakens your resolve to eating too much so it's a win/win if you don't have it in the house

Thanks mosaicwarts - your anecdote made me laugh. Like you I do really enjoy drinking. I am the life and soul of the party. First up dancing and last to leave. But , like you, the hangovers are murderous.
I haven't been through the change yet.
Dragonfly, no my husband doesn't drink. He can have 1 beer and stop. He can't, however, stop after 1 bar of chocolate, whereas I'm not interested in rubbish food choices.
I agree it's best to not have in the house.

Does your husband drink with you or are you drinking alone. I think the easiest way would be to both not drink and not have alcohol in the house.

PS From what you've said I don't think you are an alcoholic - my late best friend was. She started drinking vodka as soon as she got up in the morning.

Thanks Leyla. I think that's the way forward. I've just googled the subject and found a meeting local to me. I think in the past I've only considered AA because the thought of giving it up scared me. I think my mindset has changed now, so am definitely going to give it a go. What have I got to lose?

Hi Esmenona.

Personally, I stopped drinking completely years ago because I would drink and drink because I enjoyed the taste. No stop button. Never had it in the house, but if I went out, would drink until I was drunk. I really enjoyed myself but always had hangovers from hell. Stopped after a dinner party at my daughter's headmistress's house - and you'll know how bad this is, as you are a teacher - threw up in her toilet and used her face flannel to clean it up! I'll never ever live that one down.

I watched a documentary on health last year - I think it was the one with Angela Rippon and a lovely doctor, can't remember his name. They had a group of volunteers and found that people have different 'appetite' signals. People that overeat, for example, do not get the same messages from their stomach as people that don't overeat. I think this could be similar for alcohol - perhaps our tongue craves the taste, or it dissolves more easily in our blood? Have you been through the change yet? I do think hormones are very powerful.

I'm going to do a bit more research as I'd like to find the information from that programme. In the meantime, please do not be upset. My daughter's headmistress (!) said that she always had two big glasses of wine each evening, and was becoming concerned. She did dry January or whatever it was, and did go back to her two glasses. I have a lot of friends that drink at home, every single night of the week.

It may be that it makes you feel relaxed, or it's a reward - we are all very complex beings and each person is unique.

I think you probably need to go to AA regularly...it seems to be the most successful way to sobriety. Good luck.

I think it probably does. I have considered AA in the past. Maybe I should look into it again. I don't think my husband would say no. That's obviously part of the problem I suppose. I think they call it enabling. Although if he did say no, I would walk to the shop and buy it myself.
Thanks for your thoughts. Lots to think about.

Your "lovely husband" should say no.

And don't buy gin. Don't buy any alcohol.

If you are addicted to alcohol, does that mean you are an alcoholic?

I think it might do. Alcoholics Anonymous?

Thanks. Last Saturday I had the 2 bottles of wine because it was my birthday, and they were gifted to me. Last night I bought gin when I went shopping because I thought I could enjoy a couple of glasses. I sprinted past the wine aisle faster than Usain Bolt. I did enjoy the gin but then my craving for wine started so I texted my lovely husband who brought me a bottle.
I love the idea of smaller glasses. I never have wine in the house, because I know I would drink it.

You are well on your way to success. You know you have a problem and you have found that you can control it, for at least some of the time.

A lot of people find when they try and lose a habit, whether weight, cigarettes, sweets or drink that they have relapses, which is what has happened to you, and like you they regret it later and cannot understand why they did it.

Looking at your story. One question that arises is how did you come to have the two bottles of wine you drank in the house? If it is because you always have wine or other alcohol in the house, then the first thing to do is get it out of the house, so that any decision to drink needs to be planned before hand.

If you plan to drink beforehand and then need to go out and buy it/call into the supermarket on the way home, you have time to plan just how much you are going to buy, or even fight the temptation all together. If you decide to buy wine, buy no more than one bottle at a time and make that bottle a half bottle size. This too will take resolution, but you are clearly capable of it.

I suggest that you buy yourself some old fashioned small wine glasses, nice cut glass ones or coloured ones. This way every glass of wine wil be smaller and even a half bottle of wine will provide you with three or four glasses so you still go through the rituaal of pouring another glass.

Do not be afraid to come back here for support and encouragement. We have our moments, but we do want to help and, I think are kind and supportive.

You have made a very good start on several fronts, weight and wine, and you will succeed, for your grandchildren's sake if nothing more, but as all of us know, every path to success has potholes of failure all along it.