I’m a Pear ? the sequel part 2 !

Shirleyw and four have the best Christmas you can. That will be hard I know. But your loved ones are at peace and not suffering anymore. That thought has got me through every Christmas since my husband died. He was like a big kid at Christmas worse than the children. Just think of all the silly and funny things they said and did. I promise it does help.

Merry Christmas pears and stay safe. And here's hoping 2021 will be a better year . Hopefully by Easter.

Shirley, So sorry to hear you have lost your Mum particularly at this time of the year. My Mum suffered with dementia for years too. My Dad died first and then Mum. She had little pleasure in life towards the end and although I felt relieved that it was all over for her I couldn't believe how upset I was when she died and was crying buckets of tears, not like my usual self at all. I said as much to the funeral director and he said the grief seens to be worse when the second parent goes. My Mum loved flowers and did lovely arrangements so I asked the florist to drape the coffin generously with white flowers with some silver and green accents. She did a fantastic job which oddly enough made me feel better. Let's hope the New Year will be a happier time for you.

How very sad for you Shirley two losses, life’s not fair. ?

Thankyou so much for your wise words whif, i shall take them on board. Mum was 93 and had dementia, a slow decline the last 5 years, this past year mums dementia declined quickly. Its best for mum now she is out of distress and pain. Funeral is January in Somerset. My sister is there so is doing all the necessary. Im in tier 4 and Somerset tier 2 so we are allowed to go to funeral but not stay overnight so it will be 4 hours journey each way for me and my dh.Flasks and sandwiches we shall take. Hope it dosent snow . The funeral director said to my sister they could do a live stream so we didnt have to travel but we didnt want that, i really couldnt miss my mothers funeral..

Thankyou Dorset cupcake. Yes, we have a bubble but we have a small family anyway. Hope you all have a peaceful christmas as well.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum Shirley,and your dog too. I think Whiff summed it up perfectly. In ordinary times its traumatic but at the moment the rituals and processes that help us cope are also less available. I hope you have a bubble around you and have a peaceful Christmas ??

Shirleyw I am sorry for your double loss. Double grief is bad enough any time of the year but before Christmas it just seems worse. Especially as it was so close together. I hope both your mom and dog didn't suffer. Losing a loved one is hard any time but with all the restrictions this year it's doubly hard. Especially for your mom as you can't have the funeral you want or she requested. I am not trying to sound trite. But as you probably know it's hard finding the words.

What gave me comfort when my husband died and still does is I talk to him everyday. Been doing that for nearly 17 years. I know it's different with your mom but if there's anything you wanted to say to her and you didn't have the time before her passing. Say it out loud it will help I promise.

You will be in a whirlwind of contacting people and organisations all whilst grieving. I don't know if you can have your mom's funeral before Christmas. If you can't try and have the best Christmas you can. Don't rush sorting things that don't need to be done. Give yourself time. Also sadly you will find out who your real friends are.

I don't know what tier you are in but I hope there is someone who can be with you and give you the much needed shoulder to cry on and just hold you.

Try and remember the silly and funny things your mom said and did it will make you smile. And any things your dog got up to. As he was was your family as well.

Sorry I am better at doing this in person. I do understand grief. My husband died at 47, dad 3 years later at 80 and I nursed my mom until her death aged 90 . I have never had a pet so don't know about that sort of grief. In my experience grief is different for who it is who dies. The grief I feel for my husband is never ending but learnt to cope. I don't feel any grief for my parents that faded after a year. Think it's because they had long life's .

Don't keep your emotions in scream , shout and cry if you want to. And most importantly eat and drink. Take care of yourself. It's easy to neglect yourself whilst grieving.

I am better with actions than words but know my thoughts are with you and your family. We will all be glad when this year is out.

And hopefully by Easter life will get back to some sort of normal. But we well always have to take the precautions we have all year as Covid is here to stay like flu.

well done sarah 2lb loss, i too lost 2lbs this week. i know it will be a plus next week , i thought christmas eve im doing Nigellas fully loaded pots. and they are gorgeous so wont deny myself that , christmas day and boxing day i will have off and hopefully...says she....be calorie counting sunday onwards.

Sorry for your loss fourormore, How are you?...my dear 93 year old mother passed away last week then 2 days later my old dog had to be put to sleep so I for one will be glad when this year ends.

Hope you all have a peaceful christmas, will check in at the weekend....

I suppose when you think about it those that were concerned get more so and as you say those that dont care either way carry on regardless! I can understand people not liking masks, I dont find myself having to wear them often but when I do find them quite claustrophobic. Still at least I dont have to wear them for long periods of time like carers and nurses. Those that bleat on about being muzzled and their liberties being infringed make me cross,unbelievable ! I still think it would be a different scenario if it hadn't been so heavily emphasised that those most at risk were a relatively small group.
Some people get in a pickle about a nanny state. Some times I do wonder though. On one of news casts ,before tier 4,a family were confused because they didnt know whether they could have family over for Christmas and wanted the government to spell it out. One of their family had Downs syndrome who are very vulnerable. My initial reaction was you have a vulnerable family member-use your common sense! It does make you question the governments clarity of messages but also where people get their information from.! I think if you have the capability and the inclination it still can be a challenge to find sources of reliable information. If you are reliant on social media that's worrying .!

Dorset some are taking things to far. Glue on envelopes is not lethal.
People forget how many hands our post goes through before we get it. Does that mean they will destroy their post . No it doesn't they open it. And gladly read it.

They are happy to go too cafes and restaurants. Have food and drink. They don't know if things have been washed probably or anyone has coughed or sneezed in the kitchen. Then they say ridiculous things about licking envelopes. Wiping down all shopping with antibacterial wipes

. Then there are the idiots who refuse to wear masks when they can. The same idiots who will refuse the vaccine when it will give us all a sort of normal back again.

There is taking reasonable precautions but some are being over the top and others who just don't care who they infect.

Use common sense we are all born with it. Just some choose not to use it.

Hi Whiff?. We are certainly amongst the few nice threads. Most seem ok,but there are a few that get unpleasant very quickly which is sad.
I had a look at the envelope licking one. Must say it hadn't occured to me really. Certainly had thought about what is in the glue, although I assume it's not lethal! My mum used to collect greenshield stamps when I was little. My job was to put them in the book. I used to get the dog to lick them?.
I suppose the worrying aspect about Covid is the unknown and transmission via surfaces has always been a bone of contention. On the one hand the chances of catching it from a surface are low. I find myself what are the odds etc of the person packing my groceries or other shoppers being infected transmitting virus to my goods and me catching it?
On the other you see the strict guidelines about not sharing cutlery etc. Now I suppose you can throw in the new variant!
I will admit I have been cautious from day one. With grocery deliveries non perishable items such as tins are stored for 72 hours before putting into food cupboards. Perishable that are eaten raw are taken out of original packaging. Some times I do feel OTT. I suppose what we all need to remember is that this virus is transmitted by aerosol or by coming into contact with eyes/mouth/nose via hands. The most effective is handwashing,both after handling items and before food preparation/eating.
With such uncertainty and mixed messages I can see how people become anxious.

Cocopops well done staying the same. Especially with all the temptations of baked things. Yum.
Thank goodness for the sanity of you pears.

Have any of your read any of the Coronavirus forum threads. The licking envelopes is ridiculous unfortunately couldn't help but comment. Should have not bothered.

Pears rock. We are a sane bunch. Thanks NanKate for starting it.

Weight the same which I don't deserve after baking for the family and licking lots of bowls!
So sorry to hear your BIL has died fourormore.
I am pretty much confined to barracks with the current restrictions and as you rightly say Dorset, living in isolation doesn't help one's concentration. I have been faffing about with projects instead of really getting stuck in. Time to make one or two New Year Resolutions methinks.
Thanks for all your kind support and a very Happy Christmas Everyone.??❤

Hi Girls.

Thanks for your kind words Four.

Like so many others we have changed our Xmas plans as we have moved into Tier 4 so we will be eating at home. Yes there will be some extras but I will be ready to have a rethink, reboot and general kick up the rear to myself and reminder that slimmer is healthier, especially with regard to the virus.

See you all after the ‘toned down’ festivities. Thanks for your company you are a great bunch of Losers. ??‍??

Very funny fourormore.

That did make me giggle fourormore ?. Yes Whiff all we can do is make the most of it and look forward to better times. I'm off for a hot chocolate,I may even have a squirt of cream on top?. Merry Christmas everyone??xxx

To cheer us all up I thought I'd share this Christmas Card I received this week!
A quick way of burning 2000 calories!
I've never attached a photo before so hope I have done it right!!!
Looks ok on preview!

Dorset we must have crossed posts. Well do with the loss. Doesn't matter how much it's a loss. I think boiled cakes stay lovely and moist.

We all love Christmas but really it's only one day. And when we can meet up with family and friends after vaccination we can have lots of Christmas day's even if it's from Easter onwards. I really miss my brother and sister in law haven't seen them in person since February. But at least we can talk face to face thanks to technology.

Fourormore it's a loss no matter the reason. Enjoy your sinday you deserve it.

All you lovely pears enjoy the best Christmas you can . Hugs to you all.

Whiff that sounds lovely?. I must admit my favourite vegetarian Christmas option is the M&S mushroom Wellington-divine! Hope you have a lovely Christmas in your new home?.
I'm so sorry Fourormore I can only imagine how hard it must be for you all.
I havent switched TV on today, oddly enough I didnt yesterday but instead had a rather nice day listening to Radio 4! I'm horrified at the thought of train loads of people leaving London,its truly shocking and bearing in mind how little we seem to know about the new train terrifying. On the other hand it is I suppose human nature. Every time we have had a lock down people have behaved stupidly before and after. Apparently Matt Hancock said this morning these restrictions would probably be in place until the vaccine was rolled out. For those of us in other tiers or with at least some family close by its bearable. I personally have always felt I would have to pretty much carry on as I am until Spring regardless of ever changing government advice! Yesterday on radio 4 there was a young university student in London who was left there with only a few people who she didnt know. The term had already been grim and isolating. The only brightness on the horizon was going back to her mum in Ireland. Both her and her mum were in bits,it was so sad. I couldnt help but think of my own daughter when she was that age. I must admit I know it's wrong but if after learning that she could be stuck on that campus indefinitely in my heart of hearts I can understand if she got on a train and headed home.
Maybe it comes with age and the experience of going through things that were awful but coming out the other side.but now is not a good time to be young in many ways.
Anyway we shall carry on carrying on. We shall enjoy our little treats and count as many blessings as we can!

Fourormore I’m so sorry for your loss, not good at any time of the year but particularly difficult at the moment. Don’t worry about my fading away - I had lots to go at! I’m planning on some days ‘off’ over Christmas, but am aiming for 3 stone total by the middle of January. Whiff I hope you enjoy your day with your family and like you Dorset I’m trying to count my blessings, although I’m bitterly disappointed that my DD and DGS won’t be able to visit. We’ll have to see what happens in new year as I do a significant amount of childcare for them.

Loss of 1lb this week but sadly due to wrong reasons. The call we dreaded to tell us BIL had died came, so we have been very busy 'telephone counselling' SIL who is devastated and their Ds and GD. Horrible time for us all as all we want to do is go and hug them all - and we can't. I know we will get through as it had been expected for many months but it's so hard for them when it happens especially at this time of year.
Sarahmob you will be fading away! Congratulations on amazing weightloss every week! Like Whiff we are going to spoil ourselves a bit over Christmas but won't go mad - just two of us so could be jammies in front of the TV
Did you all see the idiots all trying to get out of London before midnight!!! Thanks to all of them for spreading it beyond their area!!! I know it is horrible but like others have said - common sense is non-existent these days.
Today is Sinday so I will enjoy my little bit of chocolate this evening and my pud at lunchtime but won't go mad!
My message to all my fellow strugglers is have the best Christmas you can within the restraints and many thanks to NanKate as always for starting us all off and to you all for unending support.

Sarahmob well done at your loss. Well stayed the same as last week . At least I didn't put on the quarter pound I lost last week so am happy. Unfortunately opened biscuits this week. But have only allowed myself 2 a day and calorie counted. Decided to give myself a break Christmas day this year and if I want a chocolate will have 1or 2. That way I won't crave them and then eat the box. And sad to say the old me has done that.

My daughter and family will becoming to me Christmas day. First Christmas lunch in my own home for 8 years. Only moved here August last year. Before that lived 100+ miles away. It will be vegetarian meal which will be lovely had that at my daughter's last year. She is making the nut roast and bringing it with her. I will be doing everything else. Having a wicked dessert I am making chocolate pye. Chocolate pastry case. Filled with mixture of whipped cream and dark chocolate. Served with ice cream. It's silly but I am excited having Christmas in my home.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone. So glad I joined you wonderful pears. Stay safe . Big hugs all round.

Good morning everyone ?. Well done on your weightloss Sarahmob?. I lost a quarter of a pound. I havent been following any type of plan but have taken up crystal art which is very absorbing. I have had some treats this week but not to many.! I am making a Christmas cake and mince pies this week. Maybe a strange thing to do as just me here but will freeze and use a a special treat any that are left over! The Christmas cake is a boiled fruit cake recipe from a freezer book I've had for years!
Ah,yes the Christmas changes. My eldest daughter and grandsons live in Surrey and unfortunately not the bit that's exempt! The origional plan was for them to self isolate and stay with my son in laws parents so we would have had an outside socially distanced visit/present exchange. Being a sensible girl she had changed this to a day trip to exchange presents. Of course this now wont happen. My youngest daughter lives a 5minute drive away and so we will be able to exchange presents by the now familiar place on drive and step back dance. Each time I cant help thinking of those little people that come in and out on clocks?.
I've been lucky this week in that friends have delivered presents in the same way. Feel very blessed and also relieved I spent all Tuesday wrapping!
In some ways I think my daughters were more upset about the change in plans than me.! I cant say I wasnt disappointed. We havent seen my eldest daughter and my grandsons since August. I look at the youngest who is 2 in February and hes growing so much. I think we are all aware it's going to be at least early spring before we see each other again and the boys birthdays are in January and February. I was disappointed but not really surprised. The Christmas break was madness and probably shouldnt have been promised in the first place. With the new variant there really was no other option.
Before all the plans I was cautious. No one knows quite what might happen at the moment. My eldest daughter and her family do stick to guidelines and SIL works from home. However eldest GS in first term at school and so that always had potential to be issue. In November I got a list of presents off them and all were delivered directly to them. It meant they would have to bring them down here but also meant they would have presents on Christmas day,especially the boys ,should the unexpected happen!
I do have presents here including a scarf I knitted for eldest grandson. I will package carefully and send signed for for his birthday. The rest were really just stocking fillers and will keep!
I think it's harder for my eldest daughter as she is more cut off. All I can say to them is count your blessings. We are all safe and well and have secure roofs over our heads, jobs,heat and presents and food. So many people are struggling in so many ways this Christmas a postponed Christmas visit is disappointing but as part of the bigger picture just a blip!
Have a peaceful week everyone and a lovely Christmas in whatever form it takes ??

Good morning pears, another 2lb loss this week. Don’t know whether I’ll be as pleased with next weeks weigh in. I hope that you are all well, that nobody is too upset by the the new tiering system and Christmas restrictions. I’d like to thank you all for your support over the last few months, (you’re cheaper than paying slimming world lol) and wish you all a very happy Christmas ??

Shirleyw well done on your loss. Especially will the build up to Christmas and so many goodies to tempt us.

You are right about mixed messages Dorset. But even with the vaccine we will still to take all the same precautions. Of course there will those who will continue to ignore the rules. But we have to keep ourselves and families safe. Not everyone seems to process common sense mores the pity. So us sensible have to take then precautions because they won't. To be honest to me it's just become another part of my daily routine. When I go out mask and gloves on and they don't come off until I get back through my door. Hands washed straight away. We all have rules to follow even before Covid it's just an add on.

Hope everyone has a good week . Stay safe .

Well done everyone on your fantastic weight losses?. I've stayed the same which is probably more than I deserve ?.
I think the situation with the virus seems incredibly frustrating at the moment. Those who have followed the guidelines to protect themselves or others on the whole will continue to do so regardless of the government sanctioned free for all. I think however it gets harder when you do hear of incidents like the ladies on the bus enjoying their days out. There are many such incidents involving all age groups and levels of vulnerability. I doubt those who have been cautious will stop being so . However as this situation continues I do wonder about the psychological impact. Personally I know I'm being very sensible taking the precautions I do,if I were to get covid the odds arent good. There is a niggle though when sometimes I wonder if I have been over cautious, what could I have been doing? I'm all for individual responsibility but for the first time since mid summer feel angered by the mixed messages of government. They make big public pleasing announcements such as the Christmas easing then you hear very little for days or weeks,well other than science/medics saying what a bad idea it is.! I wont change my behaviour but I find I have that slight feeling of being gas lighted!
Schools are a problem. There are measures that could have been put into place to ensure they could have opened safely but that would have taken organisation and finances that this government seem unwilling to commit to.
The vaccination will help although not a magic bullet. Wouldnt it be nice to have some information about where it is being distributed. Is it in the areas with highest infections or more random.
I was reading a few articles in the Guardian over the weekend about the psychological impact of the pandemic. Several things stood out. It's quite normal to go from the feeling of community in the lock down to a more individual focus as time goes on. Most of us ,to varying degrees are in a physical state of alert to danger. We become more used to it until it becomes the norm,but does explain why people sometimes struggle to concentrate. It was also interesting in how it might affect those who have more or less shielded when they can resume "normal " life, it may be problematical.
Still all we can do is draw deep on personal resources and keep on carrying on! Have a good week everyone ?