Tiger mums

morethan2, it is the second set of parents who had the high expectations; 'whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability'. The first family were force feeding.

I've just returned to the laptop with my gin in hand. Sorry daphne . It wasn't to you it was further up the thread. I'm not very quick with the typing

This thread has made me realise that I really don't keep up with things. I've no idea whats 'running' along side it. The Italians?

I know two young women both academically as bright as each other as children, both achieved fantastic A* one was bought up by parents who had high expectations, the second by parents who wanted her to do her best and be ok. The first set of parents really looked down on the other and was always telling me " oh dear second child will never reach her potential such terrible parents" Five years down the line. The first one went to a prestige university got a first. Working for a big financial company, along with horrible ibs, crippling anxiety, pretty awful relationship with parents and everyone else really. The second got a degree from some college in horse husbandry( or some such) works with horses, earns bugger all comes home exhausted, stinking and filthy, close somtimes argumentative relationship with parents, happy, bubbly and popular. I know which one I'd sooner sit next to.saying that I do realise that it's such a cut throat world we live now perhaps Tiger Mothers are just doing their best to prepare their children for it. Ps I really enjoyed the little pianist I hope she enjoys her talent and grows up a well rounded happy adult.

I agree there's a difference, but I know plenty of parents who don't know the difference, not that it's easy to know where to draw the line.

Being a tiger mum and having high aspirations for your children are not the same thing. Encouraging your children to do well in school, having a home where education is seen as important and you encourage your children to aim for high attainments, is not the same as force feeding them as if they were foie gras geese, which is essentially what tiger parenting is.

Why did we never get a finger-down-throat emoti? Would be great. Would use it a lot in that kitchen.

Oh! That's why we haven't got one.

I not ratty. I happy happy happy !

[fdt]

Oh! Is that what it was?! Forgotten about that. Was wondering.

Who's flounced?

I was most definitely not a tiger mum.

I have two boys - if I had a daughter it might have been a different matter as would have wanted her to have and do all the things that were not available to me.

Hebdo cartoon after recent Italian earthquakes.

The rattiness was further up the thread daphne. Not you.
Will someone please put me out of my misery and tell me which thread is the subject of the Itslian references? I missed it too.

Did I just witness my first GN flounce? It looks funny in print, I almost expected a "shut the door on the way out and DON'T slam it" .

If anyone has time and a netflix subscription I can recommend "The Little Prince". It is all about a tiger mum and an eccentric next door neighbour. It is guaranteed to put you in a good mood.

Ratty? I'm not being ratty, am I? (Apologies if that's how I seem.) Or is that another Chinese animal symbol?

I was a tiger mum, but I had to learn to let go. I tried to give my children opportunities I didn't have and it was difficult at first to accept that they didn't always want those opportunities.

Against that, it's a child's role in life to rebel and it's a balancing act knowing when they really can be responsible for their own decisions and when they need a parent's 'guiding' hand. Different eras and different cultures have a different view.

Somebody once told me that I should be more like a bird mother. Once my fledglings can fly without my help, I've done my job.

Goodness people are ratty today. It must be the heat. I missed the Italian bit too.

I certainly made sure my DDs had things I didn't. I had old parents who spent their energy on my elder brother and ran out of interest for me so I was never taught to swim ride a bike or later on drive. My DDs were . Perhaps I qualify for being a tigercub mum. I still can only ride an exercise bike but I learnt to swim and drive .

She looks much younger than 7 to me.

Lots of children from Chinese ethnic backgrounds have tiger mums (as do African children). I believe the expression originated from the symbolism of the Chinese tiger.

It will be interesting to see whether the tiger cubs grow up into happy adults.

Yes, and her feet can't reach the pedals! Can't work out how old she is. Her finger span suggests about 7. Can a music teacher tell us?

She's fantastic!!

Did she have a tiger mum?

drive.google.com/file/d/0B92lfgbSRcJzdGV0MDE3VVRQNXdEaG82MGo1RTNscEN1RUdF/view

She looks a happy child.

I think some parents, particularly mothers, live out their unfulfilled ambitions through their children. They do their best to provide their children with opportunities they perhaps never had or to steer them away from the mistakes they made. There are other parents who see their children's success as a reflection of their 'good' parenting skills.

Thank goodness I generally escaped the mums' school gate boasting, but whenever I came across it, I used to cringe. Anybody who has ever followed Mumsnet threads knows that the DCs on there never seem to achieve less than a few trillion A*s, are always the brightest in the class and destined for Oxbridge on conception.

The reverse side of the coin is those parents who don't encourage their children - some even seem to discourage their children from academic achievement, perhaps because they feel insecure about their children 'rising above their station'.

It's perhaps not surprising that both kinds of parents are miserable. It's sometimes not easy to accept that children are their own little people, no matter whose genes they've inherited.

Yes, I am a 'benevolent neglecter'. What the children wanted to do they did. These included learning musical instruments, dancing and, for a while judo. When DD, having asked to learn the piano got bored with practice, the lessons stopped.

There has been a book published recently called The Gardener and the Carpenter (or it may be the other way round). I haven't read it, but I have heard and read interviews with the author as well as reviews. She pointsd out the folly of trying to make a child into something (The Carpenter), instead she recommends cultivating a child's environment, giving them every opportunity to thrive in every way so that you grow large healthy and robust plants.

I think it is a wonderful analogy and one I totally agree with.

Yes trisher I agree , for a lot of children their every moment is filled with structured activity. There is no time for play, using imagination or learning how to play without being told what to do. It must be so tiring for parents and children