Denied toilet break

lexisgran I am shocked! I didn't think that there were schools with such Victorian principles still in existence. Even when I trained (50 years ago now) we were told by our Health Ed tutor that children should be able to go to the loo if they really had to. As I said it is a long afternoon for Key Stage 1. Your DD should write a letter of course but can I suggest she also raises the matter with the governors and the PTAF if there is one.
I would suggest she adopts the policy of- children need hydration for their brains to work properly, stopping them going to the toilet increases the chances of them restricting their fluid intake and there will be negative effects on their learning. The school should either change their policy or introduce a short break in the afternoon for the younger children.
Even my 4 year old GD knows about drinking water, her nursery warn children if they don't drink they will develop 'raisin brain"!
Good Luck
If she wants to be subversive your DD could encourage all the class parents to write letters!!!

Parent governors should know about this ruling as it's a parental issue.

Do the school Governers know about this rule?

Just a quick update my daughter had her meeting with the head teacher this morning. The rules are no loo in lessons unless they have a note, think this is madness but dd is going to write a quick note for dgt, but remind her to go and try at break and lunch.

cannot help feeling sorry for the poor children sitting holding it who do not have a note

This is the same situation as happened to my six year old granddaughter. She kept wetting herself and had to sit in it all day. Very upsetting for child and mum. My daughter spoke to the teacher. The problem is now resolved. But it was horrid for my granddaughter.

I don't think a child of 6 should be stopped from going to the toilet - especially not for that length of time. I agree with the poster who said that being unable to access a loo or, in this case, being denied access to a loo would cause anxiety to anyone and more so to a child. What originally might have been a bit of "playing up" could turn into a real problem.

I would have a polite word with the teacher to find out exactly what happened. If you establish that you have been given an accurate account, I think I would say that I was not happy for the child to be denied a toilet break.

I find this personally upsetting. I went to catholic school in the 1950s and believe me, you were 'taken' out to queue up to go ONCE in the morning and ONCE after coming in from lunch recess. There were too few toilets for the size of the classes.

I grew up being a bloody camel. I could go all day and not need a wee and thought it was how you were supposed to be. Even when I had toilets available to me all the time I still could only go a couple of times a day.

By age 20 I ended up in hospital with a catheter and a massive infection with a high fever. My urethra had to be expanded a couple of more times after that so I could properly urinate when my bladder was full. Freaking nuns!

Also, there are instances where children's bladders do NOT grow as quickly as the rest of their waterworks. My nephew was having to stop behind almost every tree until he was about 9 or 10 as his bladder was too small. He did grow out of it.

I would definitely have a word. You cannot put a time on the call of nature.

I had this with DD who actually wet herself in class. I was furious and had a cross word with the teacher, who told me that she'd been in the children's loos and heard DD tell a friend "let's not go now, let's wait and go later, in class".

I replied that there were better ways to make a point than forcing a child to wet herself. I went on to say that I had given my child a change of clothes in case of future accidents and advised her to not say anything to her teacher, but just hide her wet things somewhat secret in the classroom, for her teacher to discover and deal with during the holidays.

Needless to say, there weren't any more accidents.

I tend to agree with Trisher and lexigran. Having been a teacher (albeit secondary) and knowing how children can try it on to get out of class, I would often ask them to wait and try to guage how desperate they were. If desperate they would usually ask again. If you are not careful there is constant going and froing just when you are trying to explain something. I admit it's rather different with younger children.
My point is that you dont know what th situation was in th classroom, only a one sided story. Its certainly worth speaking to the teacher about but I would do it tactfully. You've no idea what pressure the teacher was under, and s/he probably has no idea that there was a problem. I'm sure it wont happen again once you've spoken.

The same thing happened to my five year old granddaughter. They had a student helping out in her class. My GD asked to go to the toilet and was told to go and sit down. When my daughter found out she was really cross as my GD is not very good at holding on, and still has accidents. My granddaughter's teacher was not happy that this happened and had a word with the student. This student was also heard to say "young kids do my head in". I think she's chosen the wrong profession.

I would say can you wait ten minutes if they then ask again let them go this usually sorts out the ones who just want to waste a bit of time as they forget to ask again as are then occupied with something else

Actually for Key stage 1 I think that is an unacceptably long afternoon and I would have expected a break (see I'm not the dreadful bitch teacher after all). It is normal for Key stage 1 to finish at 3.15 and even then have had a short break between lunch and the end of the day. It may be that the end of the day is timed so all the children leave together but that should mean the younger ones get break time. I wonder what the water situation is? most schools now recognise the importance of hydration and encourage drinking water through the day. You might want to emphasise the importance of this as well.
I was trying to balance the number of condemnatory posts about this and try to show that it isn't always vindictive discipline that causes these things simply overwork and omission.

Good, hope for the right outcome, this school/teacher need to change things.

rosesarered

Seeing the head on Monday, the 2nd time she was refused she even explained holding her wee was giving her stomach ache

I think it's quite shocking actually Lexisgran and I would be complaining to the Head in no uncertain terms.

trisher. I absolutely accept your points, and realise how difficult it must be to teach a full class of very young scholars. Does this not prove the point that teachers are overworked, underpaid, understaffed and undervalued?
I feel this is perhaps a political point and best left for another discussion, but looking back on my own experiences and those of my children, I think that a very few teachers have it in them to be sadistic. Many moons ago, I suffered at the hands of a woman who I am sure only took up the profession because she had no children of her own to beat and bully.
Fortunately, she was the one horrible exception in a school full of dedicated and kindly teachers!

Jalima

No, no afternoon break lunch ends at 1.10 and they finish at 3.30, which is why i think it is unreasonable to have stopped her going for a wee.

Don't they get an afternoon break lexisgran?

trisher I am inclined to agree.
As I said earlier, the DD who had the accident at school is the one who always wanted to hop up from the table in the middle of a meal, the others didn't. (she's a teacher now )
And at a school play I attended two of the children (siblings) performing kept trying to get the teacher's attention because they wanted to leave the stage and go to the toilet. I noticed 'Miss' studiously ignoring them and thought well done because that would have disrupted the whole performance as they climbed over the other children to get to the loo. Their mother was very cross afterwards but other parents seemed less than sympathetic.
Interesting, too, that one of these children is apparently often 'excused' and can be found doing things other than going to the toilet in class time.
There is a middle course between constant toing and froing and a complete embargo!!
I agree

trisher
The toilets are outside the front of the class, where as the parents wait for children out the back, which is where they get let out, she asked twice throughout the afternoon and then the teacher opens the back door to release them after the bell.

trisher - been there and done that!
Don't remember any accidents at all but it did mean a bit of give and take!
There is a middle course between constant toing and froing and a complete embargo!!

Firstly I would be careful about taking your DGD's word as absolute gospel. It may be that she asked and was told it would be better if she could wait. It is amazing how many children translate this as an absolute 'no' when actually it was a request to hang on if she could. I also wonder why she didn't go at the end of the day before she came out if she was so desperate?
It is also possible that on both occasions when she asked a child was already out at the toilet and perhaps a 1 child only system operates.
The number of posts on here condemning teachers and castigating them shows what little support they now receive from the community. I'd like to take these people give them a class of 30 reception children suitably dosed up on tons of juice and sugar, give them a numeracy and literacy lesson to teach and a PE class to run and ask them to produce a written account of each child's activities. Then we'd see how they'd cope with demands for the loo. My bet is there would be lots of wet pants, some children would spend hours in the toilets and very little teaching would get done.

I remember my daughter saying the same thing years ago, It's ridiculous to expect children not to need the toilet, hell we know when you have to go, you have to go! It makes me so angry when teachers etc thinks it's ok, to ignore a child needing to use a toilet!

So very glad we Home Educate. Xxx