Gransnet forums


Denied toilet break

(168 Posts)
lexisgran Fri 28-Apr-17 10:28:58

My Daughter was telling me the other night that my granddaughter, 6 after lunchtime at school asked to go to the toilet and the teacher said you should have gone at lunch. she asked again later on and said she was desperate but was still refused.
She was absolutely bursting when she came to meet my daughter having waited nearly 2 hours

she is unsure whether to have a word? or is it common?

tanith Fri 28-Apr-17 10:42:56

Well I don't see any harm in her having a quiet word with the teacher. Maybe something like, 'blank' was upset she wasn't allowed a toilet break yesterday , was there some problem? No point, in pointing a finger till the facts are known.

Antonia Fri 28-Apr-17 11:24:01

Why is it that some teachers assert authority where it is not necessary? Perhaps your DGD didn't need the toilet at lunchtime, but needed to go afterwards. As a former teacher, I know that some children ask for a toilet break when clearly they don't need one, as they asked to go half an hour ago! In these cases I always allowed the child to go, but then had a quiet word with the child and afterwards with the parents to let them know that this was happening. I fail to see why your DGD was refused permission twice, and I would definitely contact the school. I would have been very annoyed.

goldengirl Fri 28-Apr-17 11:32:54

You should contact the school. 'Holding on' is not good for a child's developing bladder and bowel. I've even written a blog on school toilets as it is a topic that does cause some children a lot of unnecessary distress.

Nelliemoser Fri 28-Apr-17 11:39:00

I think it is a lot to expect young ones to remember to do a wee at lunch time "whether the need it or not." They tend to get carried away by other things they are doing.
A general reminder by teacher at the begining of the lesson would help everyone, maybe it does happen.
I dont know what the teachers amongst you will think about that.

Luckygirl Fri 28-Apr-17 12:04:43

A child should not be refused the opportunity to go to the loo. That is very wrong. I do understand how irritating it must be for teachers who are in full flow to have children bobbing in and out - and I know only too well from organising children's singing practices that the desire to wee is highly contagious! - but, at bottom (!), they need to be allowed to go.

Cherrytree59 Fri 28-Apr-17 12:56:31

I agree with a quiet word.
what if the poor child had an accident?
A friend's granddaughter developed a toilet phobia that had to be treated after some upsetting incidents at a nursery she had been attending .

Lillie Fri 28-Apr-17 13:23:23

We always line the young children up after break and lunchtime to visit the toilet. It does, however, seem a bit unnatural to me to expect every child to go for a wee at the same time, but it seems to work. It's also a good opportunity to wash hands after playing in the mud, sand etc. Any child who asks to go within the next hour is frowned upon, but not denied access to the toilet.
I would enquire what the class policy is. At this time in the school year teachers do seem busier than usual, so maybe the usual routine has slipped a bit?

vampirequeen Fri 28-Apr-17 13:47:12

I sometimes asked children if they could hang on until I'd finished the input part of a lesson but always added that if they were desperate they should go regardless. Have a quiet word with the teacher. Was she doing that but then forgot to say your DGD could go when she'd finished? It could have been a genuine mistake.

Welshwife Fri 28-Apr-17 14:19:26

I took the view that it was better to let them go than have a child in wet clothing and a puddle to mop up. If it seemed that a child was going very frequently for a few days I would have a word with the parent incase there was a problem. If they think they can't go it often makes them more nervous and they have the need to go more frequently.

POGS Fri 28-Apr-17 15:17:48


This problem crops up on threads every now and again and I thought you might find an old thread interesting.

I am totally on your side with this problem.

grannypiper Fri 28-Apr-17 15:39:28

My DD has only half of one kidney and the other only functions at about 70% and the tube to the bladder is not where it should be, i explained this to her new teacher and made sure that she understood that when my DD said she needed to go she needed to go and that the need for the loo came on very quickly and if she had to wait she would end up with a UTI. The teacher would not let her go one day( DD rarely asked) and made her wait half an hour as it was nearly break time. The result was one very poorly child, one very annoyed Doctor and one apoplectic Mother. It never happened again.
LEXISGRAN If i was your DD i would be having words with the Teacher.

Anya Fri 28-Apr-17 15:52:57

That's ridiculous. Young children should be allowed to go to the toilet when they have a need. I taught Y6 and even then I allowed them to go when necessary.

A quiet word with the teacher is the way to go.

lexisgran Fri 28-Apr-17 17:14:41

Been telling dd of all the brilliant advice being given on this site. She has a meeting with the HT on Monday.

DGD was refused again this morning and told to hang on until playtime, despite saying holding her wee was giving her stomach ache. Dgd says another girl and little boy was also told no this afternoon.

DD not happy hopefully things will be sorted out soon.

lexisgran Fri 28-Apr-17 17:16:46

Forget to say she has only had the teacher for 2 weeks, she is a replacement for her normal class teacher who has gone on Maternity leave.

Nelliemoser Fri 28-Apr-17 17:52:36

I find that sometimes if you are concerned you need a pee when you are not sure you can find one (or not allowed to go) anxiety builds up and makes the issue even worse.

TwiceAsNice Fri 28-Apr-17 18:02:55

What is it with power crazy people ! Small children should always be allowed to go when they need to . I would definitely complain to the school about this teacher

Jalima1108 Fri 28-Apr-17 18:31:42

Oh dear; DD's teacher called me in to school when she was about six to apologise, she kept putting her hand up but as he was explaining something he ignored her. Result - wet knickers, socks, shoes and distressed child.

Jalima1108 Fri 28-Apr-17 18:33:20

DGD has said her new teacher 'shouts a lot'.
This is a reception class teacher!

ElaineI Fri 28-Apr-17 18:37:03

The latest medical advice about bladder care says you should never go just in case (i.e. just because it is lunchtime, playtime). You should go when you need or you can cause huge problems later.

vampirequeen Fri 28-Apr-17 18:37:04

If this has happened a second time then it needs sorting out. Children will become ill and/or have accidents which will upset them.

As a teacher you try to encourage children to go at the appropriate time but bladders are awkward organs and often make their needs known when its not playtime or lunchtime. You can't deny a child if they need to go.

lexisgran Fri 28-Apr-17 18:39:25

how an earth she expects 6/7 to hold it for so long is beyond me. if she does not lighten up a bit their will not be a single child who has not peed themselves by the end of the year. The toilet is right outside the classroom door according to dgd.

POGS Fri 28-Apr-17 19:37:24

Out of interest did you read the old Gransnet thread I posted lexisgran.

There were a couple of posters who gave good advice.

lexisgran Fri 28-Apr-17 20:18:25

Yes i did, thankyou it may come in handy.

lexisgran Fri 28-Apr-17 22:29:33

dd just said one of her friends who has a daughter in the year above dgt, rang her and she was denied by her teacher last week, and wet herself in her mums car on the way home. APPALLING, but it looks like its a school wide policy not to allow the loo in lessons.

Will let you know how dd gets on in her meeting on Monday