School issues

MissAdventureI hope they do. If not I would say ring them and insist on speaking to the head. If they tell you she's busy say you will stay on the line (effectively blocking it) until she can speak. It sounds to me as if there is an admin person there who hs been put there to block access. These people are quite often little despots and regard it as their duty to keep anyone away from the head. Great advice above.
Try to stay calm although your emotions must still be so raw. Your family have been badly served. You deserve an apology and the school needs to make sure it never happens again.

Don't let them fob you off missadventure. The school office will have a copy of the HT's diary and be able to make you an appointment, even if it needs to be confirmed by the HT later. Prepare what you're going to say carefully, stay calm, but let him/her know how angry you are. This is such careless behaviour from so many people at the school. As an ex deputy of a primary school I find it beyond belief that the communication system is so bad. Good luck, and remember you are in the right.

I contacted the school by phone this morning first thing, to ask for an appt to see the head teacher. They are going to phone me back with an appointment. Apparently.

I am shocked and surprised that this has happened and think that their actions have been insensitive and uncaring.
A primary school especially should have better pastoral care of its pupils and any Head Teacher and class teacher should be well aware of the circumstances and offer help and support under such difficult circumstances. They should have offered more help than just saying they weren't bothered if he missed days off in the past few months.

You should definitely contact the Head and the Chair of the Governors - both for an apology and to ensure that support and understanding is given to your DGS in the difficult time ahead.

Take the letter you received to the Head at the beginning of term, and insist that he personally changes the details on your grandchild's file, in your presence. Explain the distress it has caused. and ask what provision he is putting in place to assist your grandson in the future.

I find it very hard to believe that a primary school (if it is so) can behave in such a callous way during illness and bereavement; normal compassion would operate among staff, even if mistakes were made.
If you continue to be treated with indifference, then you need to contact the Chairman of Governors and request an explanation.

Go to the Head, and if their response is inadequate go to the Chair of Governors with a copy to your MP.

Heartbreaking . This should never have happened .

God that’s awful Definitely go to the head.

I suspect, maybe wrongly, that the school is an Academy and not under the auspices of the LEA. So the Director of education wold be powerless and only the Attendance monitoring carried out by the school.
Academies are a law unto themselves I'm afraid.

As a retired teacher, I am absolutely horrified at the way your family has been treated. I cannot comprehend the total lack of compassion shown by the school and authorities. This whole situation is totally unacceptable.
In my own school, we bent over backwards to support families who were struggling. On a few occasions, the HT himself brought a child to school, when the parent was unable to. We have also been known to take children home to take pressure off a parent.
In special circumstances, children would be taxied to school and this was paid for by the LA.
The attendance Officer would also be informed of the circumstances.
Furthermore, the management team would ensure that all staff were made aware of these circumstances, so that if the child was distressed or their behaviour became difficult to manage, staff knew what lay behind it.
School should be a safe haven for children, not a place of stress and unhappiness.
A number of our staff were also trained in bereavement counselling and weekly sessions were held to support children who had suffered the loss of a family member through death or divorce.
My first port of call would be the Head Teacher and if that gets you nowhere, go straight to the top, the Director of Education.
I am so sorry that you have not received the compassion and support that you deserve.

Back in

This happened to my DS who passed his 11plus in primary school. Lost his Dad suddenly and ended up back min comprehensive school because the strict masters saw his anger as thuggish.

Sad and hurtful for you and your grandson that someone didn't bother enough to spare you the upset of the letter. Whoever addressed the envelope and whoever gave it to the child should have been aware of his circumstances and checked. They should apologise.

You should let the head know of this, it shouldn't have happened. Your grandson needs support and security at school, not being asked why his work has deteriorated.

A friend's clever, hardworking grandchild was pressured because their standards had gone down in GCSE work. This was soon after a widely reported road accident (a few miles from the school) with fatalities. The only survivor was the grandchild's seriously injured father. The lack of understanding at the grammar school decided the grandchild to take themself to a sixth form college for A levels. So unnecessary.

It's them, MissAdventure, for sure, and they need to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen again. and all best wishes to you and yours.

Detention for you! Thank you all. It does help, because I'm never quite sure if its me or them that has things so wrong.

I'm sorry about the typos.

Definitely, definitely make an appointment to see he Head Teacher. Explain about the recent letter, then other occasions when the response has been inadequate or inappropriate.
Ask for a copy of the complaints procedure just nicely saying that you hope you won't have to use it.
As an ex Head I old have been horrified and ashamed if this had happened in my school. And grateful that you had brought it to my attention.

MissAdventure so sorry for your loss. You are entitled to make as much fuss as you like and to tell the Head exactly how you feel. I found this website which the school might like to look at childbereavementuk.org
Schools sometimes get things completely wrong and communication isn't always brilliant but really they should havedone better.
I wish you well for the future and hope you manage to get through this. Can't imagine how hard it must be for you.

Thank you all. I'm a bit more 'buoyed up' now. (Lets hope it lasts!)

Don’t settle for speaking to ‘someone’ insist you speak to the Headteacher. They are not God, and you need not be worried about approaching them.

If their communication system is this bad the Head needs to know.

MissAdventure now I know they have been told many times I think yes a meeting is necessary it’s very very inappropriate and very thoughtless, careless and downright cruel not to remember and to wonder why your grandsons not up to standard shows a level of stupidity not expected of any decent school
When my 6 yr old grandson lost his Dad he was given permission to leave the classroom if he felt sad, was offered school counselling and had a fairly caring experience that should be the least your little chap gets

missadventure just wanted to say sorry you have all suffered such a great loss. The school should be taking good care of your DGS at such a sad time not adding to his worries.

Thanks Maggie. I think I probably do need to speak to someone to find out why is seems that people still aren't aware. I mean, they only had 10 years of being informed at various times.

Please don't be sorry. You've been very badly let down. I am angry on your behalf. There is no excuse at all for sending that letter, they have been totally lacking in compassion.

Sorry Maggie. That was probably rather blunt. You weren't to know.