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School issues

(87 Posts)
MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 12:03:00

Some of you may remember the problems encountered regarding schooling when a parent was too ill to take the child.
The school told me that they weren't bothered about grandson missing days, as they knew the circumstances.
We had a mentoring charity helping us for the last little while, which was sadly, too late. However, when my grandson finished school for Christmas, he came home with a letter addressed to his mum, at her address.
Considering I have informed the school that circumstances have changed, do you think its reasonable to request a meeting to ask how on earth such a thing has happened?

BlueBelle Fri 29-Dec-17 12:08:27

Yes I do Misadventure Mistakes can happen but they need to realise that their mistake has caused sadness and upset maybe not necessarily a meeting but definitely it needs addressing and you need to be confident it won’t continue to happen

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 12:12:09

Well, they have been informed time and again by phone, Bluebelle. They attended a meeting arranged by the mentoring charity - again, sadly all too late. The deputy head phoned me with the excuse that they 'didn't know' and I asked that they ensured that everyone now did. A few weeks ago my grandson told me his teacher had questioned him about why his work standard had slipped in the last few months, but I let that go. This letter though.. I'm angry, but also really hurt by it.

cornergran Fri 29-Dec-17 12:37:33

I'm sorry about this added upset MissAdventure, there's enough worry without the school adding to it. I hope there are others more familiar with school systems who can offer more informed advice. My first thought was a letter to the Chair of Governors (name should be on the school web site) outlining the issue and asking for them to either facilitate a meeting or resolve the issue for you.. For everyones sake it feels important that communication in and outside of the school is water tight.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 12:40:12

Thank you both. I'm swaying between just letting it go and not upsetting myself further, and being just amazed that communication is obviously lacking when it should be across the board.

OldMeg Fri 29-Dec-17 13:31:33

I think that enough is enough. Make an appointment to see the HT and tell him/her that it’s time they got their act together.

You have every reason to be very cross.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 13:57:22

Having worked in schools for years, I can confirm that across the board communication is always a huge problem. We'd try so many systems to try to make sure the management team/teaching staff/admin team/Senco/support assistants/Attendance Officer all knew about arrangements and assurances one of them had made, and it was so frustrating when things still slipped through the net. Don't let it go, they need to know that they have caused you upset and they need to look again at their systems and do all they can to make sure everyone complies with them, as this is often where the problem lies. I don't know your circumstances, OP, but we would sometimes arrange for children to be collected and dropped off if home circumstances warranted it. Have you been offered this?

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 13:58:20

Its too late, Maggie. My daughter died.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 14:01:30

Check the Complaints Policy on the school website to see who to contact. It's usually the head in the first instance unless that is the person you are complaining about.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:01:34

And no, she wasn't offered any help at all. It made the last few months of her life all the more difficult that the school and Senco officer were so uninterested.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 14:02:29

Oh, MissAdventure, I am so sorry.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:03:28

I'm not sure who I would be complaining about, even. I just feel horribly let down, on behalf of my daughter and grandson.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:05:19

Sorry Maggie. That was probably rather blunt. You weren't to know. flowers

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 14:08:37

Please don't be sorry. You've been very badly let down. I am angry on your behalf. There is no excuse at all for sending that letter, they have been totally lacking in compassion.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 14:12:21

Thanks Maggie. I think I probably do need to speak to someone to find out why is seems that people still aren't aware. I mean, they only had 10 years of being informed at various times.

Crafting Fri 29-Dec-17 15:11:46

missadventure just wanted to say sorry you have all suffered such a great loss. The school should be taking good care of your DGS at such a sad time not adding to his worries. flowers

BlueBelle Fri 29-Dec-17 15:38:02

MissAdventure now I know they have been told many times I think yes a meeting is necessary it’s very very inappropriate and very thoughtless, careless and downright cruel not to remember and to wonder why your grandsons not up to standard shows a level of stupidity not expected of any decent school
When my 6 yr old grandson lost his Dad he was given permission to leave the classroom if he felt sad, was offered school counselling and had a fairly caring experience that should be the least your little chap gets

OldMeg Fri 29-Dec-17 15:47:20

Don’t settle for speaking to ‘someone’ insist you speak to the Headteacher. They are not God, and you need not be worried about approaching them.

If their communication system is this bad the Head needs to know.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 15:49:39

Thank you all. I'm a bit more 'buoyed up' now. smile (Lets hope it lasts!)

trisher Fri 29-Dec-17 16:40:41

MissAdventure so sorry for your loss. You are entitled to make as much fuss as you like and to tell the Head exactly how you feel. I found this website which the school might like to look at
Schools sometimes get things completely wrong and communication isn't always brilliant but really they should havedone better.
I wish you well for the future and hope you manage to get through this. Can't imagine how hard it must be for you.

Eglantine21 Fri 29-Dec-17 17:33:13

Definitely, definitely make an appointment to see he Head Teacher. Explain about the recent letter, then other occasions when the response has been inadequate or inappropriate.
Ask for a copy of the complaints procedure just nicely saying that you hope you won't have to use it.
As an ex Head I old have been horrified and ashamed if this had happened in my school. And grateful that you had brought it to my attention.

Eglantine21 Fri 29-Dec-17 17:34:29

I'm sorry about the typos.

MissAdventure Fri 29-Dec-17 17:38:06

Detention for you! Thank you all. It does help, because I'm never quite sure if its me or them that has things so wrong.

Maggiemaybe Fri 29-Dec-17 17:45:51

It's them, MissAdventure, for sure, and they need to make sure this sort of thing doesn't happen again. flowers and all best wishes to you and yours.

Elrel Fri 29-Dec-17 17:47:38

Sad and hurtful for you and your grandson that someone didn't bother enough to spare you the upset of the letter. Whoever addressed the envelope and whoever gave it to the child should have been aware of his circumstances and checked. They should apologise.

You should let the head know of this, it shouldn't have happened. Your grandson needs support and security at school, not being asked why his work has deteriorated.

A friend's clever, hardworking grandchild was pressured because their standards had gone down in GCSE work. This was soon after a widely reported road accident (a few miles from the school) with fatalities. The only survivor was the grandchild's seriously injured father. The lack of understanding at the grammar school decided the grandchild to take themself to a sixth form college for A levels. So unnecessary.